Time seems to speed up as you get older. I can’t believe that it’s coming up to two years since the world changed for us. The dreaded late night phone call, that conversation with my son, the funeral …. all are still so vivid and seem like yesterday.

In that time somethings have changed:

  • New School
  • Anxiety levels
  • Career
  • Living in a country which seems to have completely lost the plot and becoming alien to me
  • Loss of free time
  • Increased disorganisation
  • Increased mood swings
  • Rapidly decreasing social circle
  • New crazy dog (probably my only good parenting decision)
  • Increased money worries (definitely not helped by my one good parenting decision)
  • Rapidly thinning hair (largely due to my one good parenting decision)

And yet somethings have not changed:

  • Still can’t cook
  • Still burn myself on the iron
  • Still don’t understand Pokemon
  • Still haven’t found my ‘how to be a good parent user manual’
  • Still shaking my head at our strange world
  • Still fighting to get Dyslexia support
  • Aspergers
  • Feeling blessed to have a son
  • Hope
  • Love for my son
  • Love for my lost partner

I could witter on for hours about all this. But all I really need to say is we still love you and will always do.

17 thoughts on “Two years

  1. Beautiful. Also, I’m not sure whether it’s a new acquisition or something you still have, but your gentle sense of humor is touching. This thread with your new dog is very funny, and it’s contrast with the tragedy you’re coping with is enlightening. I’m really enjoying your blog. ☺️

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  2. I held my husband’s face in my hands as he passed from this world to the next. It’s been just over 2 years for me also. You have your son at home yet. I was alone. I ended up taking an exchange student even tho I didn’t want to. She was an absolute BLESSING to have in my home, filling it with love and laughter…..

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      1. I was 8 when my dad died .They thought children didn’t grieve.So accepting his grief as you are is the best thing you can do.I know it’s very,very tough to be left like that.I know I felt it was my fault and felt inferior.But the worst was we could not talk about it.With my best wished,Katherine

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  3. My heart goes out to you, so much to cope with in a newly changed world as 2 years is not really that long. Sending you love and encouragement. Dogs bring so much love (mine is pretty poorly behaved in the best of ways.. we just got in trouble with someone at the oval because he barked and wanted to chase the soccer ball and the child playing with it got a bit frightened : he wouldn’t hurt a flee but I left in tears)…<3

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    1. Thank you for the love. We have the same problem with our little chap. He gets so excited when he sees people and usually they just fall in love with him. But had one occasion when someone was clearly scared of the puppy – even though he was just bouncing about wagging his tail, really unsettled my son.

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    2. I agree, two years is a relatively short period of time. Grief is such a process. My father has been gone 5 1/2 years and at times it still stings like it was yesterday. Stay strong. And when you can’t, know you’re not alone.

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