I remember feeling completely lost after my partner died. The whole structure of my daily life had been turned on it’s head. I used to just wake up each day and really just ‘wing’ it, no routines, just turbulence.
Looking back three things really helped.
- Realising that I had to focus on just one objective. Give our son the best and happiest childhood possible,
- Bringing a crazy dog into the family,
- Forcing some new structure into my daily life.
Just before the funeral I remember reading an article about the actor and wrestler Dwayne Johnson. He talked about the importance of having an anchor in life. His was his early morning gym ritual. He talked about how important it was to him, how he cherished and protected the time. How it helps him be the person he is and how it has helped him be the success that he has become. It sounds like his daily life is anchored by this gym ritual.
This really struck a chord with me. This life anchor was what I needed to bring structure back into my life. I realise that I could have chosen thousands of different things in life to be that anchor. I could have chosen reading, prayer, volunteering,…. But since I am a completely unimaginative person I just sort of copied Mr Johnson’s idea. Everyday I would get up early and do at least 30 minutes exercise. Getting up early was not a real problem as I don’t sleep much these days.
I’ve stuck to it everyday since the funeral and it’s worked for me. A bit of structure has been reintroduced. Even when I’m going through a dark period, it just seems to give me a bit of a lift. I feel like those few anchor minutes are ‘my time’ and I really do protect them now.
One thing I must admit… It has not transformed my body into that granite super being structure. I still look like Homer Simpson (he probably has more hair). The Rock might be able to save the world in each of his movies, but transforming my body is a task even beyond him….
Occasionally the ‘my time’ is not much fun. This morning the crazy dog decided to ‘wee’ all over dumbbells just before I started. Lovely….