This week been another tough one for my son.
- Still can’t make any progress on making new friends
- Struggling with the anxiety of being in the school environment with so many others
- Struggling with the noise
- Struggling with tying his tie
- No real help with reading in lessons
He describes it as feeling like being trapped in a really noisy and scary place, with no obvious way out. That sounds like how he felt when we visited a narrow gorge in Switzerland. It was just too much for him but he made his way out. When I mentioned this to him he immediately came back with ” we managed to make our way through the gorge in 30 minutes, unfortunately I’ve got FIVE years to survive at school.
Tonight’s French homework has not really helped. He has to complete a crossword with French answers. He has never been able to get his head round crosswords, never mind one requiring French answers. At least he can see the funny side. Now he says he is Dyslexic in two languages ….
As I was finishing off this piece I read Autism in our Nest latest post which covers the same isolation at school problems. You often think that you are the only family going through this. That’s so wrong. Many, many families are going through this.
I should get you in touch with my friend in Scotland. Support each other. She has 2 with Autism.
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In our area the support is still so fragmented
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Even if you had some other parent to speak with. That would help.
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It’s hard to comfort them with perspective when they’re intelligent like that.
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Oops -I accidentally commented with my main account. I have a son who mostly has ADD/ADHD issues and so many things in life require extra effort.
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The extra effort is so exhausting, especially for our son. It’s the effort just to make it a level playing field with his class in general.
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I feel for you, and only reach about half that stress with mine.
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I think kids are stressful full stop.
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Much more intelligent than I could ever dream of being.
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A different perspective, to be sure. I’m sure the intelligence itself was heritable.
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I suspect not from my side. I think he got my eyelashes. Thankfully for him my only redeeming feature.
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Oh, I feel your pain. I know I just want my son to feel good about school – making a connection with someone would really help, I think. I like the way your son describes how he is feeling. Really eye opening. Thinking of you.
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He describes it so much more eloquently than me. The shame is that he hides that away from others. Thanks.
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Your son sounds brilliant and funny. I have a good friend who has Asperger’s and he is in his 60s. And, roughly, 25 years ago, I dated a guy who was dyslexic. He needed help getting thru high school. He had trouble reading restaurant menus and frequently wrote letters backwards. He managed, tho but, he did need the tutor.
My Asperger’s friend was raised on a farm just outside of Toronto and HE had a wonderful, understanding dad…just like you. He has talked about not liking loud places, loud people and had difficulty understanding slang-type conversational language. In his younger years, he was very quiet because connections were difficult. One of the first things that made him fall in love with his wife was her voice. He called it music to his ears. He always had a much easier time with cows & nature than standard society.
You are fighting a good fight…and he will be an amazing man.
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Lovely story. Although he hates noise, he often stands outside and I listen to everything he can sense/pickup from his surroundings. It just staggers me the stuff he picks up which I just miss.
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I hope things get better soon!
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Thank you. The daily phrase we have adopted is “we dust ourselves down and go again”.
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One of my favorite song lyrics is from a Michael Jackson song called “Keep the Faith”, which says, “Straighten out yourself and get your mind on track, Dust off your butt and get your self respect back”. Great advice for life in general.
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Agree. My son loves listening to music and he picks up a lot of life advice from the songs.
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As a poet, I think I pay more attention to the lyrical quality of songs than many casual listeners do. I am always happy to find songs with great or meaningful lyrics.
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That is awesome pep talk, you’re son is blessed to have you! Blessings!
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I’m blessed to have a son. I just hope for ‘you were an ok dad except for the cooking and hairdressing”
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Lol, I thought boys ate anything 🤔. I’m sure he will be grateful you tried your best :).
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Almost anything, it’s anything if I don’t cook it.
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😊
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Thanks
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Goes to show that nothing in life goes without saying, as I always imagined was the case with making friends. I hope school life for your boy improves soon!
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We often do take things for granted.
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It’s wonderful that he has humour about it. I feel for his struggles. Somehow we see our way through. I hope he will find one of those amazing teachers who will bring out the best in him. Hang in there.
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Thank you.
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