After the world changed I was caught out on far too many occasions by TV and film producers incorporating ‘bereavement’ into their scripts. It seemed like everything our son watched reminded him of death, So I started a vetting process which helped reduce the upset. It has been working quite well….

Last night we watched the third Indiana Jones movie. It’s a wonderful bit of escapism and I’ve seen it a few times. From what I could remember it was a safe movie. But those viewings were quite a few years before our son lost his mum. Back then my take on life was oh so different and some bits of the movie obviously didn’t register.

One scene in particular. It lasts less than a minute. Indiana and his dad are talking about his childhood. Suddenly the line “she kept her illness from me” and it’s a brief discussion about his mum dying. It felt like a dagger to the heart for me even though I’m old and grizzled. Lord knows what it felt like to someone so young. Its at times like that you wish the ground would just open up and swallow you. How could I miss that.

That is oh so typical of parenting. It’s never too easy and when do you start taking things for granted it comes back to bite you on the bottom.

30 thoughts on “Mr Jones

  1. you are like my kids vetting movies etc when we sit down as a family to watch, and i can see them watching me when death is mentioned etc. I know how that affects me so it must be even more overwhelming for your son, to experience deep loss so young. everyday is a new normal as they say.

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  2. How would u know or remember that…and I love that movie 🙂 so I understand “third time” (I probably watched more) & could happen with any movie actually…I mean u could see the situation or phrase often bcz movies reflects life

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  3. I have seen that movie a few times as well and would have never remembered that – because that sentence would have never affected me. I can’t imagine how tough it is to hear things like that now, for you and your son.

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  4. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve seen that movie more than a dozen times and I wouldn’t immediately remember that small scene.

    Grieving is a process. And, you are not going to be able to shield him, or yourself, from the loss all the time. Beating yourself up only adds to the struggle. I’m quite sure that you are surrounded by things that remind you of her.

    I’ve lost people. It hurts. Their absence is like a giant hole in the Universe. But, time does ease pain. You get to keep them in memories.


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  5. Your life … and his … will always be divided into “before” and “after”, and your perception before will have been much different that your perception after. Don’t kick yourself … you cannot protect him from every single thing, though I know you will try and you wish you could. Helping him find his way through dealing with those things which you cannot shield him from is more important. Don’t fret … you are, in my book, simply the best dad your son could ever have.

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  6. Talking about things like “She kept her illness from us.” will help it lose its power over you BOTH. When things like this happen, talk about Mum… will help him understand.

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