It’s one of those nights where everyone can sleep perfectly except for one person. I really could do with at least a few hours rest but it just won’t happen. Too many worries. When your tired the worries just keep circling around in your mind. Making you more tired but increasing the stress levels so you can’t sleep. So many worries circulating.

With the passing of his last grandparent this September this will be the first Christmas Day when it’s going to be just the two of us.. This is on top of this being the first Christmas since THAT SANTA CHAT.

Are we at the right school.

Is it time to consider sleep medication for our son. He’s got to sleep reasonably early tonight but that’s a rarity.

Which Dyslexia programme to pay for.

Should he return to school today even though his hand is still not right.

Son has not had a holiday in three years.

What happens to our son if something happens to me.

Do I replace the malfunctioning washing machine.

Can I get a couple more months out of the car tyres

Getting further behind the work schedule.

A few too many bills.

I’m not going to resolve any of these in my present mental state. I need to switch the brain off. So I’m going to try something completely left field. A hot milk (I don’t really like the stuff) and lights off then switch on. When our son was a baby he wouldn’t sleep. So we bought him a night light projector – he hated it. So tonight I’m switching on the baby projector. Lets see if the projected little blue and red stars can soothe this tired sole tonight.

57 thoughts on “

  1. I picked up this grounding technique for dealing with PTSD from a book I read and your post made me recall it.
    This woman said when her mind would race with to-do and worry at night that she would close her eyes and bring her self right to the present by saying: “I’m just lying in bed”..if necessary she said it repeatedly because ultimately, that’s the truth.
    I hope rest finds you.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. A nice warm bubble bath right before getting into bed always does the trick for me, even when I am worried or thinking too much about something. In fact, I sleep so well that I don’t know why I don’t just do that every night! Here’s hoping tonight will be better for you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hot Epsom salts bath & a shot of aged rum. That always knocks out my hamster-brain on the wheel. My paternal GM preferred homemade Blackberry wine.

    You have a lot on you. After a while, you begin to feel like a car engine, revving in neutral.

    I hope you rest, soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can empathize with you. As long as the two of you hang on, you’ll get through this Christmas. Try starting a new holiday tradition for just the two of you, like baking and decorating cookies or ice skating, or going on a hike to a special place you all went, or a completely new place you can return to. Just something only the two of you can share? Maybe a cookout in the woods? I have family close by but it’s just not the same, especially at night.🤗 Of course I don’t know how old your son is, but it doesn’t matter, we all like to be kids once in a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh u poor thing, that’s the worst. But u do sound like a parent who takes his job seriously. (The parenting one I mean).
    My daughter takes Melatonin to help her get to sleep (the kind u need a prescription for).
    It really helps, otherwise she’s wide awake til about midnight.
    Maybe u need it too…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We adjusted the dosage until it no longer made her drowsy during the day. She has to take it just before going to bed, otherwise her body can override the effect if she takes it too early.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hugs, Friend. I’ve done music and white noise, too, waking to escape dreams where children are missing, miss me, miss nothing and I cannot reach them–ugh. And the fear of how to make ends meet, whether or not to kill the dream for the sake of more income, how the hell to get along with a family that will never understand me…yeah….yeah, I don’t sleep well that much, either…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It doesn’t help when you a starting from such a tired and drained position in the first place. It’s almost as if your mind says ‘don’t your dare fall asleep I’ve not finished with you yet’ and just keep serving up unsettling dreams and thoughts. Probably the only thing that really works is venting to people. Thank you for being there to listen. Hugs greatly appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hugs are always here when you need them. And yeah. It’s like the body just can’t keep going anymore, but the brain’s found its fifth wind and has another few miles to go. If one could just pull the reins and slow it down…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much, it is really appreciated. I remember my Doctor saying just after that awful summer – ‘your body and brain is on a train heading towards complete exhaustion you need to get off at the next stop for a week or so’… Still waiting for the train to pass a stop off station. Knowing my luck if the train is run by one of our train operators the bloody door will be jammed shut.

        Liked by 1 person

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