Working from home does have so many advantages. Fundamentally it gives me the scope to flex work around our son. The days of my career coming first have long since gone. Trust me the career first option is the wrong choice.

But home working is not without issue. The biggest one I find is the isolation. I just don’t meet people face to face anymore. This week I have had only one face to face conversation with someone not in our little family group. That’s why blogging is such a blessing for me.

Isolation. It’s bizarre that like our son I often dream of shutting out this strange world on our own deserted island. Yet isolation in ones own house doesn’t tick the same boxes. It frequently draws you into prolonged periods of sadness. Without our son in the house, it seems so empty, so many echoes of the past.

Today my thoughts kept drifting back to holidays with my partner. One image on repeat loop. An image which is on my screensaver. Sorry it’s Switzerland again. I always seem to be blogging about that beautiful country. It was just so special to my partner. The view is looking across the edge of Lake Thun to Spiez Castle (Schloss) with beneath it the hotel we stayed at adjacent to the water. Many days this photograph brings so many happy memories. However today I just keep thinking that I won’t be able to share this view again with my partner. Sad face 😔.

88 thoughts on “Sad Face”

  1. I can relate so much to your feels about blogging and the support and sense of belonging it can bring. I also can relate to the different feelings a picture of a loved lost one can bring depending on mood, as I lost my sister a few months ago. My son once asked why people have to die, why the unfairness of it all, that it made him feel the world was a bad place. I told him that if everyone lived for ever we would not appreciate loving them and being loved by them half so much, that we may come instead to take it for granted. I try to hang on to that thought. Thanks for any other beautiful heartfelt blog post.

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      1. No you are right there is no best way or right way, everyone deals with grief and loss differently and each loss is different too.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Memories make us sad sometimes but they also remind us of happy times. Try to interact with a couple of people on some of the weekends. It will relive your isolation and will also built up social skills of your son.

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  4. A feeling of a loved one who will not be with you forever is definitely a feeling can’t be defined . I can feel the same pain with your readings but at the same time would like you to smile and miss your partner with happiness as where she is must be wishing you and your child happiness and life with brightness.
    How well the feelings you shared!

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  5. I’m sorry. I would be wearing a sad face too. I can relate to your isolation. Some days I do not think I talk to a soul until the kids come home. I definitely think it doesn’t help with my social anxiety either. I find myself avoiding people because I don’t know what to say – because I don’t talk to people often. At times, I think it is why I take so long to respond to comments. I get in a bubble – and blogging is a great way to interact – and find others like me.

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    1. It is tough. Like you when I do meet someone I become so wooden as if I have completely forgotten what to do. When that happens your confidence just drains away. You just want to hide away. I find it so much easier and less stressful holding blog conversations. It’s so similar to how our son reacts to the outside world.

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  6. So sorry. I’ve been going through a very isolated and low time myself recently. I feel your sad ess and I am so sorry. We can share our sadness. It is vrwat to at least be able to blog about it. Sending love (if I am allowed to say that) to you and your son.

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      3. Please do. I was just thinking about it, and trying to find the words myself, but U can’t. Olease keep trying.

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  7. I too am so sorry. Having everything on your shoulders combined with grief is huge, absolutely huge. Isolation is not good for me … in small doses yes as it allows me to be me, rather than having to put on ‘a good face’ for the world. However, too much of it and my mind starts spiralling downwards into regret and sadness, so (for me) a balance is to be had. I spend a couple of hours each day out of the house, usually writing in my coffee shop where a) I get the most work done and b) whereby I can remember that there is a life and a world out there with people, people to talk to even if only for a brief moment. It lifts me, gives me a purpose and a routine which keeps me on the straight and narrow. Best wishes to you and your son. Katie

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      1. Oh do. It sounds so silly, but it’s been a saviour for me … a safe place, a second home where I can write and still be ‘me’ but am out of the house and engaging with the world. I’ve gone through heartache too, not of course on your level, but enough to make me question everything. And truth be told, it helped.

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  14. You have special memories, and when you return with your son, will be making more that relate. The pain of loss never goes away, just softens at the edges with Time. Embrace the time you had, and a smile, however sad, is still a smile.

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  18. You have been dealt such a hardship. To not only lose a partner, but the mother of your children, that you get up everyday is admirable. Those children are lucky to have you.

    I know you feel as though you’re isolated, but it’s important to identify if your energy is charged by being around people, or drained by being around people.

    If it’s he former, you may need to interact more. If it’s the latter you’ll probably helping your mental health without even knowing it.

    Regardless I hope time makes your feelings easier.

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  19. I’m so sorry you’re lonely and sad, and it’s such dilemma, being in the place you feel most safe and yet feeling slightly trapped by it. I think it’s a good thing to have Switzerland – sometimes going into the past can bring just a tiny smile to the sad face. I hope you’ll somehow manage to meet others, maybe in brief contacts, just a greeting or an exchange of words, and maybe those fleeting contacts will lead to conversion and then something like friendship. Sending big hugs even though they are only virtual blogging hugs!

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  20. There is a difference between being alone, and loneliness. Sometimes being alone is a good thing … it gives us time to connect with ourselves, to think in peace and quiet. But if it is loneliness you feel, then get out, even if only for a dinner with a friend. Mindless chatter, hugs and a bit of this and that will work wonders for your psyche.

    Hugs, dear friend.

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  21. Being stuck at home when times are bad is horrible. I have not been at home while missing a loved one but I have been stuck at home while unemployed, hoping for calls for casual work or job interviews as my money drains away at the speed of light. Getting out for a bit each day, even just to the coffee shop does ease things a little, and gives you a break.

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  24. Oh…oh I know how this feels. I’ve worked from home since Blondie was born. Days would pass before I would speak to an adult not in my family. That isolation is…you feel cut off, and yet you’re never alone, you know? You’re constantly in the muck and mire of family needs so you cannot hear yourself think, but then you do and you don’t want to be in those thoughts anymore. You just want to hear someone else.

    So yes. I agree. Blogging’s a Godsend. x

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