Before the world changed we had quite good balance in our relationship. We both managed to maintain reasonable careers while making sure we always had one of us there for our son. Our trips out as a family curtailed when the Aspergers started to kick in more. However we realised it was important that we had time outs to recharge the batteries. My recharge times largely centred on climbing and going to see my football team.

The world has changed now.

Climbing has gone. Replaced by the very occasional trip with our son to do a bit of walking on some remote hill top.

Trips to see my Football team has kinda stayed in place. They feel like a connection with a much different world. Maybe three or four times a year our son will go to visit my sister for a few hours to allow a trip to see my team. Occasionally I can get a spare ticket so I can take our son to a match. More often than not my ticket is taking up by a friend.

Unfortunately a decision needs to be made. Something I have been putting off for a while. Football really doesn’t fit in with our new life. It’s very expensive. My son struggles with different environments – that even includes my lovely sisters place. My son will go to the stadium but the crowds don’t sit easily with him. It’s becoming very difficult to justify. It doesn’t help that my team is now owned by a really unsavoury and deeply unpleasant character – but that’s by the by.

It’s difficult. I have been going for 32 years. It’s the only time I get to meet some of my friends these days.

But now it’s time to close a particular chapter in my life. Things change, life moves on, you adapt. So after one final match then it’s goodbye Newcastle United….

63 thoughts on “Putting this off for a while”

  3. It’s not goodbye but au revoir… even Ashley can’t last forever however much he seems like herpes in human form. And they’ll still be picking up the odd point like the thieving magpie… sorry, giving away my allegiances…

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    1. Yes, who knows what the future holds. As going to matches is expensive, any parent might have to reconsider. I had to give up going to a discussion group because it clashed with my daughter’s gymnastics. It gave me the opportunity to engage with something that really mattered, so it hurts that I can’t go, but the fact that I now ferry my daughter to and from the gym club instead means I get to engage with other parents who live locally instead 😊.

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  7. I deeply admire the way you always put your son and your role as his parent first, many claim to but it is actions like this that really show that true commitment. It’s not forever, childhood is gone in the blink of an eye and I suspect football will still be there long after your son has grown. I hope you are able to maintain the friendships that have built up around it though, that can be a tough one when life changes I know.

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      1. With all due respect, I beg to differ…if you want your son to flourish, you need to put yourself first. This way you can give him the best and brightest of yourself. Renew an old hobby or embrace a new project! You will both reap the benefits!

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  11. I think you’ve made the decision with care and it can’t be easy because of what you associate going to the matches with (recharge time, positive emotions etc). You’ve got to do the right thing for you, your son and the situation, and where one door closes… you know the saying 😉
    Caz x

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  13. I see your point. Is there a day care that will keep him, near by? You really need to keep connected to your group. Perhaps someone you work with. Just a suggestion.:))

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  14. It’s a shame, but as you say, things change. Maybe there is something you can pursue together? This might sound daft, but what about an arts class? It can be very expressive and socialising wthout being in a large group. I didn’t do art, but did take up aerobics for a while. OK, me and my mate got thrown out of class because we were giggling too much waving our wands from side to side (you had to be there), but it was fun.

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  18. We’ve made a similar decision like that here. Bo used to go to concerts all the time, buy several series of comics. Since kids, though? Nope. It’s a tough shift, moving away from beloved something of decades. but that stuff IS expensive, and there are other, far brighter things for such coin.

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