It’s just over 2 years since we lost her. It doesn’t feel like 2 years. It still just seems like last month..

This photograph was taken on our last family holiday. It’s the view from the hotel. The view brings back so many happy memories. But it’s a sobering thought that the next time I see this view for real it will be on a trip to scatter her ashes. That wasn’t in the script…..

I feel a bit like Dr Strange in the last Avengers movie. Scanning all the possible life outcomes and probably only seeing one which involved ashes within such a short time span. Unfortunately that one came to fruition.

On that last holiday we spoke briefly about if something happened where she wanted to be laid to rest. I never paid too much attention to it. Surely that life option isn’t going to happen for many years – I would make a really crap Dr Strange. But now we have a bit of a problem. Can I remember the preferred sites. Two in the UK are reasonably simple and straightforward. The two in Switzerland ……

One is easy as it’s an instantly recognisable location, we have been to it several times before. The other location is a tad more problematic. She wanted to be scattered at the same location as her beloved Dad. It’s at the top of a mountain I have never been to. Assuming I have remembered the right mountain, Switzerland are not short of one or two. Then I can vaguely remember the instructions. Get the cable car to the top. Start the path down and it’s next to a bench near a small pile of stones. Unfortunately looking at the internet the mountain has at least 8 paths and I’ve counted at least 20 benches. As our son helpfully points out – you will know if you have picked the wrong mountain or wrong bench when that bolt of lightning strikes. No pressure then….

Two years ago this genuinely caused me huge anxiety and anguish. Now I can see the funny side. That’s progress.

Important note. Trying to arrange taking ashes abroad from the U.K. is a nightmare especially if you are planning to fly. You need to arrange a specific flight time with the airline. Then get the undertaker to securely package the ashes and complete the required cover note which has to include the flight details. The airlines I spoke to made the process so difficult. Also straight after the cremation the last thing you want to sort out is air flights. Fortunately the Eurostar train option is so much friendly. They told us to get the ashes securely packaged. Then book as normal when you are ready – just pre warn security when they check your bags. It’s another train journey for my partner then – she loved trains.

58 thoughts on “Which mountain?”

      1. That would require a lifestyle free from worry.

        Then, there’s always meditation, a shot of alcohol & earplugs. Just sayin’…

        I wish I was on a normal sleep schedule. I live with a retired cop that absolutely loved the graveyard shift. We are, both, night critters but, he is just a wee hours of the morning type. 🤪😵😖😴

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  3. Here in India to they believe in scattering the ashes especially in a sacred river like Ganges….according to Hindu custom.
    It was definitely an emotional read. Hope her last wishes will be done and you will attain the peace after it.

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  6. Learning all the time. Who would have thought that taking the ashes of a loved one abroad would be so complicated?
    Love how you write at times like she’s still with you.
    And always love your son’s comments. I was expecting the comment to go, “You’ll know when you’ve got it right. You’ll feel it.” Or something profound like that. Certainly not ‘the bolt of lightning’. Hahaha

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  7. I admire your love for her, to fulfill these wishes. I empathize because it truly is deeply disheartening as is to undergo funeral services preparations and /or cremation as is, then to add this wild goose ride through the UK. You surely just wanted to be home, in the comfort of your familiarity, behind closed curtains and darkness. Hugs to you.

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      1. I found them – Kings Ben Grandma and I figured it out. If she comments from her phone, they go to my trash bin (?) not sure why, but I guess it happened here too. I will retrieve one – sorry about that!

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  14. Like trying to find a needle in a haystack if you don’t have a good idea of which mountain! I’d never contemplated the issues around moving ashes out of the UK, that could add such a layer of stress on an already awful time for those, like you, who’ve done or are looking to do that. xx

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  16. I am enjoying your posts (having only recently followed you) and seeing you work through the emotional and practical barriers with humour and gravitas too. You write very well. Thank you for sharing your intimate journey, I’m sure it helps all your readers in so many ways, and helps you too.

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  19. As i’m learning more and more, the mind will trick us almost every chance it gets – often on the really important stuff.

    I advise following your heart and seeing where that leads the 3 of you. (4 if you take Dog! -Are they allowed on trains?) 🙂

    May Thor be with you! 😉

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  20. These are such important parts of your journey and you write beautifully about it. Thank you for sharing them.

    This photo is stunning and a reminder of someone who I’m certain was beautiful both inside and out. Easy for me to say, I know, but trust that you’ll do fine with knowing where to take her ashes. She trusted you to do your best, as she would do for you. Sending love.

    ps – Your son’s sense of humor cracks me up.

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  21. That comment from your son made me laugh! I understand the pressure you probably feel, but the important thing is that you’re going to try. Whether it’s exactly the right spot or not, you did your best and that’s what counts.

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