Building a snowman here while lots of people walked past looking at me as if I was crazy. Five yards to the right is a high street full of shoppers and tourists.

I know I tell a few tales that might suggest that I am an extrovert. I really don’t think that’s the case. After the all too many retreats into my protective shell I often here something like “I thought you were an extrovert”.

Extroverts don’t tend to

  • Have a nervous stutter when talking to strangers
  • Frequently wait for the coast to be clear before you leave the house
  • Turn in the opposite direction when you see someone who might talk to you
  • Avoid social and family gatherings
  • If I do go to a social event, be the awkward one stood in the corner behind the potted plant

So why the drastically opposite personalities. For the first time I thought about it during yesterday’s sleepless night.

Is because I am an Ambivert. A bit of an introvert and a bit of an extrovert.

Is because I am an extrovert permanently stuck in an introverts shell.

Is it because I don’t really fit into this world and occasionally I feel the need to do some grand action to confirm that I do fit.

Autism.

Is it a pressure release for my building anxiety levels.

Is it because I want to be extroverted and when I do find a group of friends I feel confident with I then act out my dreams.

Is it one or two too many sherbets during my younger days.

Is it because I am basically daft.

Is it because I too frequently switch off my brain.

Who knows. I do know that my extroverted moments are becoming very rare these days. Especially since the world changed. But at least I can look back at some interesting memories. Some reasonably funny, many extremely embarrassing. Most importantly no animals or other people were hurt in the making of these moments.

98 thoughts on “An introvert?”

  1. Ambivert!! I had to get over some of my ways as I’ve always worked customer service. So I gotta talk to people even when I don’t want to. More times than not, I head straight home after work. It mentally exhausts me to be in that mode for so long.

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    1. I think a person can appear either introvert or extrovert at certain times. My understanding is that the type your is determined by what energizes you. If you go home exhausted because your job requires you to present as extrovert it strongly suggests that you are a dye in the wool introvert. Getting to a quiet place lets you recharge your batteries.

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  2. Much like you I am Ambivert. Were you to watch me in action at work, you would have no idea that I was socially awkward. My breaks I sit in the boardroom in silence and when I get home it is silence all around. I understand.

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  5. I switch back and forth between introverted extrovert and vice versa. 🙄

    I mean, I can fake it if I’m up for it, especially for a kid’s sake (a school even that they’re so happy about, a sports event, etc,)

    But I do actually prefer the opposite of social life. And I understand that ‘wait till the coast is clear before leaving the house’.

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  7. Ambivert is a good word. I find I have become more genuinely extrovert as I have got older. Before that I was fine in role – usually a leader – but stick me in a room where small talk was required and I was rather lost

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  8. Whatever you ‘are’ i suggest you are definitely not alone in being it! 🙂

    Sounds quite reasonable/logical/consistant to me… but i’m just weird.

    If you want to know if you are intro or extro take the ‘uncannily’ accurate test here… https://www.16personalities.com/ ( I was definitely an Intro!)

    And drink less coffee! (Listen to Mother!) 😉

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  9. I am an introvert to the core – but sure – there have been times in my life where I have felt comfortable in a situation where I may have appeared outgoing. But believe me, I was excited to get home. And I also look outside before going out to leave or to do any yardwork. I even hate it when my phone rings – that’s what texts are for! 🙂

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  12. What those people passing by who weren’t tourists were really thinking – OMG I wish I was free enough from self-conscious constraints to stop, drop all my inhibitions and pretensions, and build a snowman, that looks like such fun!

    What those people passing by who were tourists were thinking – Oh, they build snowmen here too. I must take a pic for social media, it will get many likes because it is someone doing something fun and that cheers people up!

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  13. Half an inch of snow once every ten years or so is not conducive to snowman making. I have to settle for fairy-tale sandcastles on the beach instead! And yes, people do tend to notice unless there’s a child assisting in the construction 🙂

    I’ve always been the bloke behind the potted plant in the other corner, unless I heard mention of something I was very interested in, and then I’d be in boots and all! As I’ve got older, I’ve found I’m less inclined to join in discussions, especially with total strangers. I find that the energy needed is more than I’m willing to expend.

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  14. Can one be an extrovert online and in writing, and an introvert in person and verbally? That’s what I think I am. Online, I will chat to anyone and join in random conversations that are none of my business. Knock on my door unannounced and I will hide. Phone me and I will just sit and watch it ring.

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  15. Building a snowman is a lovely idea! And you sound so like Blondie. Inside the walls of her tiny school, she’s boisterous and outgoing. Outside her comfort zone, though, she clams up and hides behind me when I’m talking to other people. Her teachers never believe me when I say how shy Blondie is, yet I still see her literally stand at the corner of the playground and watch other people play. If Biff and Bash are there talking to these kids, she’ll have her brothers ask those kids questions instead of talking to them herself. When I tell her to just talk to the kids, she suddenly decides she wants to do something else…

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    1. I get that. So like our son as well. Will hide behind me outside comfort zone yet will then happily cross examine a Doctor about their qualifications. Will try to get me to ask for things. Are you or Bo like that at all? Part of me worries that maybe some my flawed personality is rubbing off on him.

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      1. Hmmm. Well I know my anxiety’s passed on to the boys. Come to think, Bo’s very much the stand-off-to-the-side kind of guy in unfamiliar surroundings, but it only takes a nudge or two to get him joking and relaxing the atmosphere. Sounds like we need to work on Blondie’s stand-up comedy 🙂

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  16. I think most of us are part introvert, and I also think the internet has made us even more so, for it is now easier than ever to communicate with a multitude of people, without ever having to look anybody in the eye, shake a hand, or speak and risk stuttering. Ambivert … good word!

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      1. True, which is where it derives its name … society … social. I am not a social critter. I like a small gathering of 2-4 friends at a time … anything more and I am intimidated. Funny story … in my job as Comptroller for a company, part of my duties was to give a presentation to the Board of Directors each month. Stern, stodgy old men, not a woman in the bunch. So, once a month I stood in my dark 3-piece suit and stuttered my way through a financial presentation. One month, one of the board members pulled me aside after the meeting and said, “Jill, honey, we’re just a bunch of grumpy ol’ men and we put our pants on the same way as you do every morning. Nothing special about us, and next time just picture us all sitting at that big table in our underwear.” Long story short, I still stuttered through my presentation every month, but somehow it did help that at least one of them was kind enough, compassionate enough to see my struggle and try to help me.

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      2. That’s a good story. A few years back my little niece would say “thats wheely wheely big” all the time. I was doing the big annual report meeting and rather than saying the overspend was significant but within accepted parameters…. I went for it was “wheely wheely big”…

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      5. Heh. I got the same thing…with the ‘T’ attachment, which is something new. I’ve done Myers-Briggs several times. In my 20s, I was an INTJ but, as I aged, I moved into INFP. The ‘T’, for turbulent, is new. I’m not sure what to make of it and, the M-B test isn’t scientific, anyway. It was just a mother/daughter team making notes during observations within their own family.

        So far, I’m still not Jean Grey.

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      6. I remember a friend going for an interview and doing a psych test prior to the interview. After completing he was told he was not required for an interview. When he asked why he was told they couldn’t say but he was not the type of person they could ever work with. Confirmed our suspicions – deeply flawed…..

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  18. I relate to that, too. I think you’re more showmanship than I am, but have been told by people that they thought I was an extrovert.

    Maybe you are an introvert, but you need to connect with people like most humans. 🙂

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  19. I often think I’ve changed and become more capable socially, possibly appearing confident or maybe even funny! That is, until the reality occurs. My great words and actions I had in my imagination don’t come out how I planned.
    It’s then that I hear Nemo’s dad say to Dori “you think you can do these things Nemo, but you can’t!”
    I have a feeling I believe I’ve improved socially because I’m no longer in situations where I feel socially stunned. My life is set up to suit me; im home most of the time and any social interaction is generally brief, so I can cope. I guess that’s what we aim to do; set our lives up to suit us most.

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  22. Single parent Dad, do you identify as Autistic? If so, I would like to add your blog to our Actually Autistic Blogs List (anautismobserver.wordpress.com). Please click on the “How do you want your blog listed?” link at the top of that site to customize your blog’s description on the list.
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