I would love to claim that is my flower in my perfect garden. Sadly it’s next doors flower which is growing through a hole in our fence.

My Dad was a fantastic gardener. I’m sure he looks down on our garden and just sighs. He probably utters several words in Yorkshire including wasak, berk and hacky. Followed by wouldn’t grow my rhubarb in that mess.

Dad loved gardening. It was his go to hobby.

That got me thinking about the stuff which I enjoyed doing. My stress busters.

  • Playing football – stopped when son was born
  • Watching Newcastle United play and lose – seat now given up
  • Playing cricket – stopped when son was born
  • Climbing – stopped when the world changed
  • Walking with friends – stopped when the world changed
  • Going out for a drink with friends – stopped when the world changed
  • Astronomy – old telescope is not useable anymore and not done any serious star watching since the world changed
  • Going out for a meal – not been out for a meal since the world changed
  • Just enjoying being held by your soul partner – stopped when the world changed
  • Going to concerts – thankfully son will let me tag along with him still. So it’s not a complete wipeout

Need to do some thinking. Need to think about activities that will take some stress out of the system – which I am sure will help me become a better parent. Stress is building.

I really need to find more hobby time. I certainly need to find more time to sort out the outside mess. Unfortunately gardening stresses me out. Sorry Dad.

108 thoughts on “Stress buster

  1. Writing seems to help you. You seem drawn to this blog. Did you write, blog, before the world changed?

    Maybe it’s not exactly a stress buster, but it’s an outlet of sort. Perhaps?

    You’ll find something…:)

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You definitely need some you time. I just started and even though some of the times aren’t exactly the best, I’m doing something independent of my dependents which really helps. Totally wish I were your next door neighbor, there to hang out with your son while you took a break!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. My mother always sighs when she comes over because my yard’s perpetually awful. Not quite as awful as the Klopek’s in the Tom Hanks movie THE BURBS, but it’s close.

    You could always scale back, gardening-wise. Grow a few pots of herbs–useful, but also not on the scale of a yard.

    Plus, you can keep them out of Captain Chaos’ reach. xxxxxxxx

    Liked by 5 people

      1. Oh no! Ok, I suppose because they’re right behind you making the mess again?! 🤔 Let’s scratch that then. Games – video games. I just gave in recently and purchased the Nintendo Switch for my kids, first game console we have. So far, so good. I’ve set rules so grades don’t drop. They’re only allowed to play Friday after school through Sunday afternoon.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. I think you’re on the right track, BD. I mean, getting back into one or another relaxing hobby or activity on a regular basis. Have you perhaps considered meditation? That used to do wonders for me during some of the most stressful years of my life. I don’t much need it anymore — but when I did it was there for me.

    As I understand it, there’s quite a bit of science now backing up the stress-reducing benefits of Eastern techniques of mediation.

    Getting out into nature was beneficial as well. In recent years, I have found it harder and harder to get up in the mountains, but I recall doing so was hugely beneficial. I have also heard the English countryside is absolutely lovely.

    Nowadays, my stress reducers tend to be long walks in the city, going to restaurants with friends, and pacing. Pacing is something I’ve only recently picked up.

    Blogging doesn’t do much for me to reduce stress. I don’t get much catharsis out of it. Rather, I get clarity. Writing does wonders to clarify my thinking.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Lol gardening used to stress me out too. Understand about the world changing. My experience too. Finding replacements for those things is hard. I guess that for me, that is why I post far too much in here lol. You can’t do too much from a wheekchair and blind. BUT……I wear shocking pink socks, and that means that ANYTHING could happen. Sad about your astronomy though Gary. That sounds great. X

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I like your thinking. 🙂

    (Except the negative aspects + fact YOUR world (life as YOU & son used to know it) changed/ended, of course) 😦

    But busting stress is most definitely a good way to go, Champ!

    Laughter is the best method – take one Daily Funny per day, minimum! 😉 ( Hey! A little self-promotion does no harm!) 🙂 followed by socialising – best done with REAL people, friends ideally, with whom you have at least ONE thing in common! (Virtual socialising is the easy (chicken) way out – I should know!)

    Socialising can be done anywhere (including at home), anytime, if planned a little beforehand. 😉

    Things the two of you can do together would be good – although i appreciate some careful considerations may need to be met, but not impossible!!! 🙂
    Possibilities:
    Making/flying remote control model aircraft?
    Golf?
    Computer coding? (No – Wait, you said stress BUSTING didn’t you???)
    Swimming (Indoor pool handy?)
    Vlogging a certain Superhero canine?? (Got the cape yet??)
    At Home Movie and Pizza night with 1 or 2 guests? (Make your own pizzas!)

    That’s just off the top of my head, you can do better i’m sure! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ahhh the Joys of the Countryside, eh? 🙂

        Just a thought and i understand if it’s not a good one, but how about that place you posted recently – that is kind of (very) special nearby?? I think she’d enjoy seeing the two of you flying?

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Beautiful photo btw… it’s a member of the Plantain family i believe, possibly in the foxglove species, or penstamons or similar, relatives of snapdragons. 😉

    Whatever – it’s pink and it’s pretty, even if it is your neighbour’s, technically. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I’m a bit of an obsessive when it comes to identifying unidentified flowers on blogs!

        I narrowed yours down, but did not come up with a definitive answer… i will correct that as your new ‘go to’ flower ID guy! 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  8. She wouldn’t want you to stop doing all the things you love. Take your son with. Arrange a play date with someone he likes being with so you can go. You are not just a Dad. You are also a man who needs ‘man time’. Please don’t forget that. It is important to recharge.

    Liked by 4 people

      1. Yes, you do. So many forget they are NOT just parents or spouses. They are humans in need of PERSONAL time. Take it. Recharge. You will be better for it.

        Liked by 2 people

  9. Hubby built a boat. Not the one we lived on Ii hasten to add. It was a little skiff he made from scratch having enlarged the plan from a book. Sadly we could never afford the motor to put it in the water, and when we moved to the bungalow, it made a very nice plant pot stand.
    However, he has since made remote control model boats and has one in the wings here to try out on the lake when he gets round to getting his licence.
    Any good as a thought?

    Liked by 2 people

  10. This has honestly been my biggest struggle. We’ve had 3 kids in under 5 years and I’m still trying to figure out who the hell I am now. So much has changed in my life for the positive, but the things I used to fall back on (gym, socializing with friends, shows) just aren’t in the cards these days. I’ve also tried doing some of these and they become so stressful that it’s difficult to find the joy in them. Life has changed in a major way and so have I but I guess I can relate so much to your post because I’m still trying to figure out where I am on the other side of the rabbit hole. Relieving stress is the goal, the method is just the hard part now because so much of who I am doesn’t fit anymore.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. What a sad post Gary – okay, what did you do as a kid? Are there any hobbies that you can reignite from those days? Have you thought of perhaps writing a book on your journey? your blog is a very successful blog with a lot of support to your writing – perhaps that is an avenue that can help you?

    My world changed in 1987, but l was 24 and l didn’t have children, well 87 changed that forever. But l threw myself into work, and a host of other things, but maybe writing might be what you need to help with your journey?

    Rory

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Hi sorry to hear about how you’re feeling right now. Would it be possible to pick up playing football and cricket again? Or doing Park Runs? It’s okay for parents to have time apart from their kids and nothing to feel guilty about.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. I hope you are proud because difficult as it must be you are making progress because now you’re realising you are stressed and need more in your life, reach out, you’ll be surprised, old friends will be there for you.

    Liked by 2 people

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