I was talking to a farmer today. He was saying that he desperately needed some rain for his crops. The ground is bone dry. Wow Yorkshire needing water, that must be a first.

Its been one of those days. Dropping things. Losing things. Breaking things. Not being able to remember which things I’ve lost. Writing stupid things in comments that I shouldn’t have. Arriving in plenty of time for an appointment then spending ages trying to get parked and ending up late. Repeatedly tripping over the cat. Breaking the hoover – again. Burning the toast.

So a walk was much needed.

It’s really odd walking down this path. It’s a walk that just skirts farm land. We have much finer routes with better views. Basically it goes round in a big circle. Might be able to call it a crop circle – not sure why ET would travel all those light years to look at this bit of land unless he or she has a pressing need for sugar beet and has a rhubarb fetish.

We would often come down this particular path before we had our son. We would talk about starting a family here. Planning for the future. Then with a baby and the pushchair we stopped venturing down this route. Then the world changed and I completely forgot about most things. Recently I’ve started venturing here again.

Memories flood back. Sadness come in waves. I often feel lonely and isolated here. It doesn’t seem right walking here without her. And yet I still come. Why? I honestly don’t know. Maybe I’m waiting for something to happen here. Maybe its a link with the past. Maybe it’s because it is so rarely used by others. Maybe it’s because you get to walk near the farmers crops. Maybe it’s because you don’t get any mobile phone signal here. Maybe I’m trying to remember something important. Maybe it’s just a random thing. Just don’t know.

Maybe I will never work out why I currently need to walk this path. One thing I do know for sure is that this is Yorkshire and this path will be very muddy soon…. Maybe that’s it. I like Mud. I did have a Mud cd. I can still remember the words to one of their singles. Thats an official test to see if you are ancient – can you still sing Tiger Feet. Please tell me I’m not the only one.

95 thoughts on “Why this path

  1. Um…never heard of Mud…the band. But, if they are a Brit band, that might be why.

    Interesting the things we do without realizing. Revisiting memories can also be a marker for healing. No one can hide from the past. Sometimes, the past comes with you…to remind you that you really aren’t alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just walk and enjoy the path and breathe the fresh air. Take your son, tell him historical stories about you and his mother walking. It will be tough on you but be bright and smiling when you share with him. Nature time is something to behold!

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  3. Really????????? 😲

    Sorry, this was my ‘time’ but can’t remember Mud at all?

    As for the ‘Why’…. in times of uncertainty our mind will naturally tend towards that which reminds us of times when things were ‘certain’ and, preferably, happy – possibly in the vain hope that being in such a place or having such thoughts may somehow make things ‘right’ again.

    I have a better question you might want to ask yourself….

    “Why not?” 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. That’s right, that’s right, that’s right (you’re not the only one). I was told once that emotional healing takes telling a story over and over to take the power out of the emotion and enable you to move forward with it, maybe it is something similar with the path? Just a thought. Sorry to hear you had a bad day.

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  5. You may be surprised to learn that the east of Yorkshire is actually quite dry. The Pennines stop much of the rain coming from the West and with the prevailing wind being south-westerly there isn’t much opportunity for rain to come from another direction.

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  6. Saw them at the winter gardens Bournemouth circa 1974… what does that make me? Sad probably. Keep walking the path. If there’s a reason it will become apparent. If not then at least there’s the fresh air… PS les jones sister taught me PE. I should dine out on that…

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      1. It could just work. I used to go to a pub in a Newcastle very often. One week I went in every night except for Friday. That night Mark Knopfler popped in and played a quick set. Then another time I went into a pub in Redcar one lunchtime and on that night Paul Rodgers came in and played a few songs. I’m cursed…..

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      2. Agggh so it’s not me. I turned down tickets in 1977/78 to see the Spots, thinking they were some rubbish punk outfit only to find out later that was Sex Pistols On Tour Secretly…

        Liked by 1 person

  7. You somehow made me reflect on something with these thoughts today. That feeling down, lonely or confused is an emotion to travel through and reflect on rather than avoid, fear or push away. Maybe we both need to travel through these emotions, for different reasons, in order to achieve some sort of inner peace, or at least some introspection. I’m not a religious person but know those who are look to their faith to help them with this, for me it’s going to a place to be alone and allow the emotions to wash over, or through me. Maybe that path is doing this for you. You’re drawn to it.

    There’s a book called Blink, the power of thinking without thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell. It digs deeper into things like intuition, gut instinct and also human behaviour. You might find it an interesting read. I’m currently reading it for the second time, first time was over 20 years ago. 🙂

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  8. I don’t know that music.. but just enjoy the walk.. Rilke advised in his Letters to a Young Poet that we love the questions themselves rather than seek for answers.. Country walks are the best but feel your loneliness and sadness in this. Sending you a hug.. we are here for you. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  9. ❤ ❤ ❤

    I have been back to places that hurt and I don't always know why I go there, but I had a huge desire to be there and feel something. I have been back to where I was attacked, I have been back to the place i first met Jack, I have been even been to Heathrow Terminal 2 after Goldfinch left just to bring back the memories of being there with him. I love walking past places we have been together.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You a point…I don’t think Australian winters are anything like our winters.
        To be honest I am not sure what to pack.
        Goldfinch says men don’t really care what a woman wears, he claims he is more interested in ditching clothes.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I can’t say I know Mud but I’m claiming ignorant American status. Actually, my knowledge of American bands isn’t all that expansive either, but that’s neither here nor there. I hope you find ways to enjoying the path, wherever it may take you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Trust me I would be amazed if you had heard of them. Must be years since I heard their one semi big single. My older sisters liked them. I can claim ignorant Yorkshire status as well I think my knowledge of American music is not much more than loving Alice Cooper, Green Day, Kiss and Blue Oyster Cult.

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  11. I’ve never heard Tiger Feet but then again my tastes are more pedestrian.
    But you’re not on that walking path for Mud; you’re there to touch memories.
    We’ve a lovely tree here outside our bedroom. I could go to any spot in or outside my home and find peace but it’s only here, in a chair under the arms of this tree that my spirit truly quietens. It’s where Love left a special presence just for you.

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  12. Oh YES Gary. Tiger Feet is one of my all time favourites! I just bought a CD of theirs! I too am treading paths that have memories in them that make me kinda sad but yet that comfort me in a steange way. Dunno why we do thus but we do!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh blimey Gary. How absolutely frustrating. They are, or were, brilliant. I love anything like that. I loved Jungle Rock too, and all those animals lol

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