I need to come clean about something. A secret I have hidden from all but my closest family, friends and postman. Darkness personified. Please don’t be too upset with me.

I have a beard.

There you go I’ve admitted it now.

It’s a recent thing. Not as if I was born with it. I was born with a mass of black curly hair. Was almost called Jimmy after rock guitarist Jimmy Hendrix. Yes born with his hairstyle. A few years later I would have been named Brian after another rock guitarist. In the end I was named after an actor who played in many cowboy movies without a beard.

When the beard started our son never mentioned it. Well not until he told someone working at a ticket office that his dad was trying to get a job with ZZTOP.

Trust me it’s not that long….

I understand the technical term is a short beard. A number 1. Rather aptly I had to re-type short as my first attempt replaced the or with an i.

It’s funny in the 17 years I was with my partner the subject of beards only came up once. That was on a French TGV speed train. So I don’t know if the beard would be fondly stroked or would produce a Paddington Bear like stare followed by the words “shave it now”.

Is it time for the beard to go. I’ve decided that I am now even less likely to be mistaken for George Clooney.

It’s never going to happen. Take George’s beard and transplant it on the back end of a Honey Badger. That’s what we are dealing with.

So maybe it’s time to say goodbye.

But our son is now not keen to say goodbye to it. This is an amazing turnaround as a few years back on a French train the guard had a beard. As he walked down the packed carriage our young son stood up, pointed at the beard and shouted “he’s got rabies”. By the look on the guards face that was three words of English he fully understood.

Now as part of his strategy to save the beard he has named it. As everyone knows if you name something it suddenly gets protected status. So what do I do now.

By the way the beard is now name Mr Crimble….

98 thoughts on “Confession time”

  10. This is only my opinion seen as I have never had a beard…but I reckon that if you are going to have a beard, have one in the winter when it is cold. But then come summer, a beard might be a bit uncomfortable?

    Even my hair is feeling too long…I would like a couple of inches off it, just to make it feel lighter and freer during the hotter weather.

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      3. Well…I am not that optimistic. I am going for cropped chinos, and some light hiking gear, and a few knee-length dresses…
        No sandals or flip-flops…but ballet pumps and one pair of trainers and I am going to wear my hiking boots on the plane.

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  13. Hmmm… looking like the south end of a north bound honey badger… Orrr… looking like the south end of a north bound honey badger WITH George Clooney’s beard???

    I’m not gonna lie – either way it’s a tough choice!

    From what you have reported on your blog it’s clear your boy is the brains of the outfit – leave the important decisions to him.

    You may have to get used to sleeping with Mr Crimble! 😉

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  19. I am trying to picture what a George Clooney beard looks like on the back end of a honey Badger! Especially with the name of ‘Mr Crimble.’ I can’t, I honestly I can’t. It’s like watching Davy Crocketts hat develop grey patches and a pair of legs! Perhaps you will become the subject of a film script! ‘Mr Crimble and Me’ … Or is that ‘I might have Rabies!’ 🤣😂

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  20. I have had countless beards because of my loathing for shaving, but they kind of irritate me after a while, I struggle with the itchiness. It’s pretty cool to be able to grow them, shave them and then grow them again.

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  22. Oh my goodness, I had such a wonderful time reading this. A great time, actually. Well, it’s been named. Nothing to do now but keep it from becoming ZZ Top-ish. Personally, I am partial to beards. Obviously, your son likes it on you. Trust his judgement!

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  23. I did laugh out loud at the “he’s got rabies” story. My daughter didn’t find my rendering so amusing but my dad got the point. Anyway, why Mr Crimble?

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