That Monday morning feeling.
Is it Monday already. What happened to the weekend.? That’s what the cat was thinking.
You know it’s going to be one of those weeks when the door bell rings at 7am. A food delivery to the wrong house. Wonderful. Sod’s law states that this happens only on a bank holiday and on the only morning when we are both asleep past 6am.
I open the door and a delivery man smiles and hands me a cucumber.
“Morning Mr Peters. Can I just hand you this first. For some reason they are handing out free cucumbers today as a free promotional offer.”
Erm I’m not Mr Peters.
“Your food delivery sir”
It’s not ours I’m afraid.
“Its very grey today, hope you are well.”
Sorry wrong address.
“It is ok if I deliver now. I know the order time was 7.45 and I’m a few minutes early. Hope I didn’t wake you”
Sorry yes you did wake me…. hang on why am I apologising.
“I will just go and get the frozen items”
You have the wrong address.
“The directions on the order were difficult to find. Next time maybe mention looking out for the church on the right”
Clearly there is only one person here who is asleep and sadly it’s not me.
“No substitutes today but we only have one pack of apples, so you are one short. You won’t be charged for it”
I bloody well won’t be charged for it as it’s not mine. YOU HAVE THE WRONG ADDRESS.
“Oh. Are you sure?”
“But the Sat Nav directed me here”
It’s the wrong house.
“Oh I will just go and phone base to check”
Trust me you don’t need to. I can confirm I did not order this. What’s the address on the order.
“I’m sorry I can’t tell you that due to Data Protection rules sir”
Now desperately trying not to attack this person with the cucumber. Looking at the delivery note on top of the fresh fruit you are in the wrong village. You need to be 2 miles further down the road.
He quickly grabbed the delivery note so he didn’t breach any further privacy rules. Looked blankly at it for a few moments. He then mumbled an apology and left. As I watch him drive away I realise I still have the cucumber in hand. Too late. Well at least I’ve got a piece of fresh food as compensation.
I kid you not – 5 minutes later the delivery man returned for his cucumber. They only had one for each delivery house…
Unbelievably the rest of Monday was uneventful. After a brief visit to his food the cat has basically not moved. Same expression. It’s the expression the delivery driver had. It must be the Monday look.