I needed a break from the mountain of rubbish on my desk this morning. So it was time to take the pup for a walk. Partway round I bumped into a hiker with her dog. As we talked the two dogs played. The poor girl dog could hardly keep up with this hyper active Tasmanian Devil.

As my dog started to smell the girl dogs bottom the hiker said.

My girl hasn’t had the operation so she can still have puppies. But she’s never had any luck. When I say luck she doesn’t seem to let boy dogs get too close to her”

Not sure if she was eyeing Captain Chaos up as a potential suitor. I quickly pointed out.

“The vet talked me out of giving him the snip. Basically because he is such an unusual mix. Vet couldn’t find any recorded cases so maybe it’s just him and one brother and sister. But he is unlikely to have any luck. I’ve tried a good man to man talk but he just doesn’t want to listen.”

She smiled “Oh Why”

On cue he started humping the unfortunate girl dog. The wrong end. It’s always the wrong end. One day he’s going to get a sharp nip in a very delicate area.

92 thoughts on “Wrong End

  1. This is hysterical! Barney didn’t have the snip either, but was more interested in bonking his bean bag than the real thing. As for Maggie, she hasn’t been done but only shown interest in three dogs in her 14 years………. one guy wasn’t impressed when I asked if I could measure his dog (height Gary, HEIGHT!) as Maggie is quite small and didn’t want his pup introduced to ‘that kind of thing’ just yet. Another was a lovely sprocker who preferred his football to Maggie’s offerings, and the cock-a-poo was adorable, but had a thing for golf balls. Maggie has a ‘boyfriend’ here called Rex who she looks for on our walks round the block and they nose each other through the gate. He’s a tiny yorkie, but has had the snip and she’s too old anyway.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAH!!!

        “Banned by the Australian authorities for rude thoughts..”

        BWAAAHHAAHHAAHHAAHHAAHHAAAAH!

        You kill me, Mate! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿคฃ

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You probably read it…

        You should not believe EVERY thing you read in the ‘fake’ press… Just ask Donald Trump!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

        (While researching this urban myth i did find a case of a taxi driver in Sydney being fined $100 for wearing brown shoes while waiting for customers at a taxi rank… apparently they are not part of his ‘official’ uniform required as someone serving the public in an official capacity??

        I never said we were perfect! ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Like

      3. Ahh – what we have here is a case of American vs ‘The rest of the English speaking world’ !

        In America a thong is frequently thought of as something worn by women (hopefully, or pass the bleach) under their outer garments, or by show-off women down to the beach.

        To the rest of the world it’s more commonly a flat bit of plastic or leather with a single strap that you wear on your feet. (I believe the American term is ‘flip flops’??)

        Kangaroos have BIG feet, hence the big thongs! ๐Ÿ™‚

        You’re welcome! ๐Ÿ™‚ … i hope it was not too late (for the bleach)

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thanks for the translation. *whew*

        I just learned from Britchy that ‘rubbers’ are NOT what we think they are. She had a little trouble at Wal*Mart looking for ‘scented rubbers’ for kids. The looks she got.

        Two (or three) countries separated by a common language. *sigh*

        Liked by 2 people

      5. It can make for the ‘odd’ interesting conversation.

        Your term ‘rooting’ has an entirely different connotation Down Under – be warned! ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Always happy to help where i can…

        https://nomadsworld.com/aussie-slang/
        Refer particularly #’s 93 and 94.

        #93 can often drop the ‘rat’ part and just leave the noun, or the verb: A root, or To root; rooting.

        You had to ask! ๐Ÿ˜‰

        If you tell an Aussie you’re rooting for the Denver Broncos (or any other sporting team name) now you’ll understand the stifled smirk! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      7. I do feel honour bound by the way, by reason of my adopted Australian heritage, to point out that the late, great Bon Scott, FORMER lead singer, now sadly deceased, of said Acca/Dacca WAS born in Scotland but he and the rest of the Boys formed the band in Australia and are Australia’s greatest ever Rock band.

        So we’ll have no more of this Scottish group rubbish thank you very much!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Livvy is alive and was quite well until recently when her brother died – from cancer. She’s living in LA now i believe, but is selling her properties as she undergoes yet another battle with her own cancer. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m laughing thinking of the poor girl dog ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m also thinking Captain Chaos just lost his chance with her. I’m thinking that she’s thinking, “If this imbecile thinks he is humping the right end, then that does not say much for the potential intelligence of our offspring…โ€ฆ” ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  3. I did NOT see that coming!!!!!!

    ( I bet she did though! ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

    Captain Chaos is very well named – kudos to you, Sir!

    And thank you for a great read. ๐Ÿ™‚ Made my week! ๐Ÿฅ‡

    Liked by 1 person

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