In life you get so many questions. Good ones, bad ones, taxing, insightful, bizarre, left field, rude and downright stupid. I often find one response covers most of them

A big boy did it and ran away….

Then you get the questions you field which relate to your kid(s). The questions involving Autism , Aspergers, Dyslexia , Dyspraxia, ADHD, Bereavement, behaviour…..The questions from family, friends, parents at the school gate, teachers, health professionals and other children. So many questions and so often not particularly helpful ones. As helpful as losing your car keys in a crop field.

So let’s look at some of the questions we have encountered. I suspect this could end up rivalling War and Peace so I’m going to spilt this up into more easily digestible parts. So part one is the Autism and Aspergers questions. Here goes for some bizarre questioning….

“Do you want us to have him eat his food by himself now he is Autistic?” – A Teacher

As he is on the spectrum would you agree to the council being approached so they could assess the risk of self harm” – A Teacher

I realise that his performance and behaviour is really good but have you considered a Special School as he had Aspergers” – A Teacher

Are you sure he has Autism as he seems very normal and is not violent in anyway” – A Teaching Assistant

We have another child who is autistic would it be ok if we sit them together as it will be good for them. They can become friends then.” – A Teaching Assistant

“I recognise that he is very shy and doesn’t like speaking in front of others. But would it be ok if he gives a chat to to the class about being autistic. He can tell them what it’s like to be different. It will be great for his self esteem” – A Supply Teacher

He seems very talkative for someone with Aspergers” – A Doctor

He seems like he cares and shows emotions. That is so unusual for someone with Autism” – A Doctor

He’s very likely to have self harm and suicidal tendencies as he grows up” – A Doctor

Why are you bothering fighting for a diagnosis when we can’t do much for him. The diagnosis will just be a piece of paper.” A Doctor

Shall I get a nurse to take him outside so we can talk about him without hurting his feelings” – A Doctor

Is he gifted in music as many people with Aspergers are.” – A Nurse

Have you seen the film Rainman. That’s all about autism.” – A Nurse

Unfortunately you come across Professionals who are clearly living in a different age or are just so underprepared to deal with kids on the spectrum. Not acceptable but it happens.

“My Son is having a party and I want to be inclusive so is it ok if I invite your son.” – A Parent

Did he get it from the Vaccinations” – sadly more than one Parent

Does this mean that he’s not allowed to fly” – A Parent

It’s not so bad, they can be very happy and harmless really” – A Parent

Are you going to ask School to not move him up this summer and keep him with the younger kids. Won’t he be happier with them” – A Parent

Are you sure he is Autistic he is nothing like The Rainman” – A Parent

At what age will he start to grow out of it” – A Parent

Have you tried those drugs which cure it” – A Parent

Will he ever be able to look after himself” – A Parent

Because he’s autistic he won’t ever want friends will he” – A Parent

Is that why he’s rubbish at sport” – A classmate

Can I catch it off him” – A classmate

I will finish off with one that made us laugh.

Do you have to use an inhaler, my brother does and he’s like him because he has asthma” – A classmate

79 thoughts on “Questions Questions

  1. Autism is like having blue eyes. Or five toes on each foot. Being autistic probably means he can hear you. The worst thing about having autism is that you’re just the same as everyone else. You have things you do and don’t like. Things you ‘get’ and things you ‘don’t get’
    On the plus side, he probably isn’t a Man Utd fan

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Copy this in its entirety – hand it to the headteacher, stick a copy in for the education team / LA’s SEN, therapists – everyone involved. Jot a scribble at the bottom “Wrote this out hoping it might help the thousand pennies to drop”

    Sympathise 100% but when you are met with crap like that, don’t feel bad about calling out individual idiots directly. Can still be polite and direct but go for direct mostly.

    The Ed Psych Sam had for a year or so assessed him, took seven months to get his report typed up and when it arrived it was magical.

    “Sam has an average handwriting speed of six words per minute. This is a fairly slow pace”
    “Sam was unduly alarmed by the sound of the school bell ringing for lunch. He may be sensitive”
    “Sam said during our conversations that his mother had killed a duck the previous week. I feel this is attention seeking behaviour.
    “Sam is a very bright, eloquent, polite and well behaved boy who just has some difficulties. It is helpful to try and see this as something which he cannot change”

    When we met again at school with the head, SEN and an OT we basically sat down and re-read the same report we’d all read a week earlier.

    I remember putting the papers down and sighing “Listen. You’re a genuinely pleasant chap and all but you are also without doubt, the single most useless professional I have had to deal with regarding Sam – by a country mile actually. So what I’m gonna do is disregard this, ask for someone else to take Sam’s case on and get them to reassess asap OK?

    Still sat there smiling as well like the village idiot. “Erm yeah.. course”

    Next morning Sam’s teacher beckoned me over “Shouldn’t say this but yesterday… I wanted to hug you”

    Tell them. You have enough on without that set of idiots piling on and it’s their job as professionals to help and support all of you.

    Liked by 8 people

  3. This is like reading some of the questions I have been asked since I had my diagnosis 2 years ago… it’s hard when people ask questions like that but I’ve started to see that it’s better for them to ask as at least they are trying to understand rather than the people who just distance themselves and start treating you differently once they know the diagnosis xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Clearly, your son is not the one with the biggest problem!!!

    (Other than having to live on the same planet as a very large bunch of ill-informed idiots!)

    It’s a sad truth that the vast majority of us are just not that good at dealing with anything that falls outside of their most common experiences. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The absolute idiocy of people. While I admit that there are always going to be questions especially if there is a lack of understand such as with myself in that one may quietly ask for a description and what it means to be on the spectrum. However for professionals to make blanket statements and infer that all people diagnosed with Autism/Asperger’s are the same because of their diagnosis makes me shake my head. Teachers should know better. You need to think of one pithy comeback to cover all the bases that you can use whenever a moron asks idiotic questions. I like something like: Well you see daily I jab him with giant needles to ensure that he is able to go out into the wide world all on his own. As for catching ‘it’ well I don’t know can you catch being gay? Things along those lines so that the person realizes just how stupid they sound. Hugs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh. My. I admit I laughed, but it was a painful laugh.

    I love the ones from classmates. At least at this point, the questions I’ve had from kids are just innocent curiosity and are usually sweet like that.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. 😀 I remember talking to a 13 year old (I think) about gaming. When I told him I was 21 (at the time), he was like, “That’s so old!”

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Blimey, people are ignorant. I can perhaps forgive the children to some extent but the adults have no excuse. That said, as an introverted adult the thought of eating alone sounds great: nobody gets to see what an ugly eater I am, and I don’t have to share my food with anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The questions from the classmates is a little more forgiving. As for all the adults…I’d like to have them stand in a circle. I would stand in the middle, arm stretched out, and just spin in a circle until I’ve smacked them all. I’m really not a violent person, I promise, but the ignorance of some people….good grief!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Take heart. Stupid shows up in other places as well. When our twins were born and announcing that we had a girl and a boy someone actually asked me whether they were identical. That was 35 years ago. I guess stupid is still making the rounds.

    Liked by 1 person

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