Sometimes change goes smoothly. This beauty was happily rooted then along came a big bully in the form of a trampoline. As a result the plant was uprooted and moved. Absolutely no issues and the flowers are as stunning as ever.

Sometimes change does not go smoothly. Our son has real difficulty with change. Even the smallest change can lead to an anxiety vortex.

He has had the same bed since he was a toddler. It started way to big for him – not anymore. The dreaded day has been looming where he finally outgrows the bed. That time has now arrived. For months I’ve been warning him that he will need a new bed but he has remained steadfast in his rejection of the idea. Time for action.

While he was at school I moved his bed out. Replacing it with the spare bed. Face it the spare bed hasn’t been used in 3 years. So when he came home we had a bit of a meltdown.

“Dad do you remember I helped put it together with my toy toolset.”

I so do. I can feel tears on my part forming. But he agreed to try the replacement bed for at least one night. In the end it went quite well really. The house is still here. We didn’t break the space-time continuum. On the downside sleep was a tad limited. When I say limited I mean next to nothing.

So tonight we will try again. Hoping sleep deprivation will be an Ally. If he’s not asleep by 2am I will let him sleep on the sofa. Not sure what I will do then. Probably just move his old bed back in and have a rethink.

I hate change. I hate being tired. Like most parents I hate the passing of time.

64 thoughts on “Sleepless Change”

  7. Hello Single dad. I understand your want / need to give in if he doesn’t adjust in a few days. But there will come a time in his life where things simply won’t change no matter what. If the bed doesn’t fit, he is not going to stop growing. Is it not better to face the problem now than in the future? Now please understand I say this not being in your position at all, and have no real idea what you are going through. I did know a mentally handicapped person who had the body of a 40 year old and the mind of a 5 or 6 year old. She couldn’t handle changes to her environment or routine and often it meant weeks of getting things back to normal. I couldn’t have done it but her state paid caregivers were wonderful at caring for her. Hugs

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      3. Hello Single Dad. Your response was fine, maybe even better than I might has done. I got thinking later after I made the comment that as a man without children, and a special needs one, without the stresses of your situation I was rather full of my own opinion. I got thinking I was sort of telling the repair person how to do the job when I don’t know how to even use the tools. 😃👍 Be well. Hugs

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  10. We have a grandson just like this and yep… it’s a difficult one. We try everything and sometimes different things work. But the emphasis is on different and the same things don’t work twice in a row. My fingers are crossed though tat just maybe some magical thing will happen and he will see..hey this bed is okay.

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  12. Oh gosh, I am sorry. That stinks. Right now Catelyn is having the worst time wearing clothes that fit her. She is still wearing the same size she was wearing for the past three years. She’s grown taller and the clothes are too small. But in her mind, she wears a child’s medium. I am getting generic emails home about the proper length of shorts, knowing hers are too short but not sure not how to get her to change. At least me sleep isn’t being bothered though. I hope things go better tonight and you both find some restful sleep.

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    1. That must be so tough. Son is the same. I have to buy exactly the same clothes just a size bigger – and sneakily change them over when he’s not here. Only works somedays. Must admit sometimes it’s my fault. As we get closer to the end of the school year I tend to hold off buying new school clothes. His trousers are already starting to get a bit short – and they have to make it till July. Thanks.

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  13. What about putting familiar things he likes on the bed? Perhaps ask him to decorate the headboard (I can see Alvin and the chipmunks everywhere), so he feels he has made a nest for his emotions?

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  16. Pingback: Sleepless Change – A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. – International Badass Activists

  17. My son is opposed to my putting his bed (finally) up on a frame. *sigh*

    My other one liked his better after I made it really comfortable, with a pillow-top sheet thing on the mattress. I also suggest you have your son personalize his new bed in some way, like painting or etching the frame.

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  20. It’s good you are always up for a challenge…. maybe not fully awake for it, but up! 😉

    Hoping you both get your much needed beauty sleep.

    I suppose logic and reasoning doesn’t hold much sway in the argument FOR change??
    (Not ALL change is bad/give examples of good changes, etc…?)

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      1. I’m definitely getting better.

        But it’s the seeing and stopping to admire for a few that is most important.

        Sharing with others is secondary! 😉

        So glad you got a smile for the day at least!

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  22. Ha! Thankfully Bo built the bed–mainly–I helped a bit 🙂 Oh I’m always terrified someone will fall off and break an arm. I’ve got three friends with kids who broke a limb via bunk bed. We still have the guard screen up for the top bunk for Biff, and only finally took the guard screen off the bottom bunk this spring. Considering their crazy playground antics, I no longer fear Bash falling twelve inches in his sleep. 🙂

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