It’s Switzerland Sunday again. Maybe one day I will do a Loire Valley post – another favourite place for the two of us before we became a team of 3.

Sadly I’ve not been to that many countries but of the ones I have visited Switzerland has a look and feel like no other. It never fails to take your breathe away. It’s a country which uses all the colours available – no need for filters or photo enhancers here.

After our evening meal we would walk hand in hand along this promenade. Magic memories.

Today this photograph brings mixed emotions. The happiness and gratitude for those times. But sadness. Those days are gone. That feeling is amplified as we are at my partners birthday. I often talk about going back. So many places to revisit. So many new places to explore. But it won’t be those golden times. We also have the practicalities. How to pay for it. Plus something that concerns me. Now it would be just me and our son. What if something happens to me on holiday. What does he do. These concerns at present are pushing the prospect of a return visit further down the line. And that is so sad.

44 thoughts on “Going back to Switzerland?

  1. Once it was you and her, now it is you and him.

    You have those memories of the two of you together, now and the future is time for you and your son to make equally special ones together.

    So what sort of things would the two of you like to do, and would enjoy doing? (Even if it might involve a little ‘risk’ to one or both of you?). Sometimes you gotta take the risk to get the reward. It’s a ‘life-lesson’ – ask Judy! 😉

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      1. That line was meant to be read as ” I bet he will come up with some great ideas when you two put on your thinking caps about what you will do for a ‘holiday’ or outing into the beautiful big wide world out there!” 🙂

        Do you remember Devo? “It’s a Beautiful World”??

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  2. The time is, perhaps, not yet. But someday you should take him, share those memories with him, give him a better sense of how things were, who his mom was, where it all began. You’ll know when the time is right … and when your bank account can handle it 😉

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      1. That’s great! You’ll still be young enough that you won’t need a cane or walker and will probably still be able to see well enough to enjoy the sights! 😉

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  3. Can I ask…when you said “what if something happens to me on holiday? what does he do?”

    – did you mean if you became ill or had a n accident?
    – how would he cope with it?

    I can only imagine your concern. I have similar concerns about my trip to Australia. I have already written a little medical emergency card out for Goldfinch just in case anything happened to me. It will be in my travel wallet with my passport etc. It has all the information he would need to supply to and A& department in Australia and it has the phone numbers/e-mail addresses of my emergency contacts and family back in England…and the contact details of a relative who lives in Australia.

    I have been having a few doomful thoughts about my trip…with all sorts of horrible imaginary scenarios coming into my head. But I have been determined not to let them hold me back. All I can do is make sure I have prepared and equipped Goldfinch for a just in case without alarming him. And then make sure I enjoy every moment without letting anxious thoughts ruin them.

    I know it would be much more difficult for your son. But if you want to take him to a place that was extremely special to his mum (and I am sure that would mean a lot to him) there will be some practical things you can do to prepare him for an emergency. It might be quite a mission. Having important things written down would perhaps be the easy part. It would be more the emotional side of something happening to you that would be a major challenge for him. Hmm. On that score, I don’t know how much you could prepare him without making him anxious about what has not even happened yet.

    But Gary, as you very well know, we never really know what might happen…while not taking needless risks…living life embracing all the beauty and wonderful and special and not letting nightmares rob us of the opportunity to do something fantastic.

    It must be so difficult to balance all the opportunities (like travel) you want your son to enjoy with the awareness of some of the challenges that could create. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s the though of me dropping down D. Leaving him completely alone. Understandable given 2016. I suspect the emergency practicalities like written instructions probably ain’t going to help specially with that sadly. The more we plan the more his anxieties will grow. When he’s about in the house if he can’t see me he will ask if I am ok every 15 minutes or so.

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      1. That is a frightening thought. Your fears are completely natural But (not to be pessimistic) that could happen to you in Yorkshire or in Switzerland…it could happen if you stay in bed or if you get out of bed… Although dangerous risk-taking is out…it is so important for both of you to make sure that you can have as much enjoyment of life, including things that would be especially meaningful.

        lol – I don’t mean to be giving you advice. But I would not want you to hold back from doing something special because of all of the what-ifs.

        What if you two go to Switzerland and have an amazing trip and it helps the two of you feel you have done something that would have meant so much to your wife. I feel uncomfortable writing this because it would be a huge decision and I would not want to pressure you into doing something either one of you were not ready for.

        But I would for all sorts of special moments for the two of you involving a very special lady.

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      2. It could happen anywhere. So Mel you are so right. If it was just my concerns then we would go when the bank account has more than 3 wagon wheels in it. But it’s our sons Aspergers. These fears can become all consuming. It’s beaten my limited brain capacity so far, but it’s not happening this year so got more time to work a way out.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Fond memories and the pain of loss are partners. Without the memories there would be no pain.
    I’ve lost part of my emotion filter due to a head injury. I’ve notice that events that show great care brings tears because one day that will be simply a memory.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I hesitate to travel for the same reason, really. We set up a trust and named people to take our kids if we died before leaving the country for my first time ever last year.

    I know you don’t have anyone, but maybe it’s settle your mind to actually think about it and name someone? Set it all up?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That is sad. A few years ago I was feeling the same way. Declan was having such a hard time we couldn’t take him anywhere. And I watched everyone else doing all the stuff I had done or wanted to do – but I needed to keep him safe so I stayed home with him while my husband took the other kids out on trips and vacations so they didn’t miss out. It felt like forever, but things changed and we can go a lot of places now and do a lot more things – not everything – but anyway – I am hopeful when your time comes it is truly magically wonderful.

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  7. I also have fond memories of Switzerland. My husband had a client there and would spend weeks at a time there when our kids were little. On a handful of occasions I would bring the kids out for an extended stay (a month at a time). It was an intense time as my husband worked constantly and I had a 1 1/2 and 3 year old to entertain alone in a country where I didn’t speak a word of their language. It was gorgeous and I have fondness for the place, it was also isolating in ways…there were days when I didn’t hear any English except from my own lips and that was hard. The landscape was breathtaking, I can still hear the distant cow bells. Your partner’s birthday must be difficult. You are in my thoughts.

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  8. There are many prayers I could pray for you but tonight, it’ll be that you will get to return to Switzerland with your boy, touch those memories with your eyes and ears once more.

    And make new ones with your son, sprinkled with the hymns of cow bells.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. More hugs xxxxx
    When it comes to places like this, it’s best to go when you both are ready to visit with open, hopeful hearts. I’ve not visited Door County, a favorite holiday place of my parents, since Dad died. I really want to take my family there sometime, and visit its national parks and other favorite stops, but…not yet.

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