Putting my sisters house warming present in a large tub was a great idea. 17 years of pink flowers without fail. I only wished that some of my other decisions were as astute as this one. My parenting years have seen some monumentally bad decisions. Here are some notable examples

  • The night after his mum died I thought he needed cheering up so we watched a family movie. One which to me looked quite funny. Unfortunately the one I picked started off with the mum dying within the first 10 minutes. Great selection.
  • Two days later we watched an animal cartoon and guess what – one of the parents died again. Fantastic.
  • Son wanted his hair coloured for a school play. I bought the required hair red dye. Unfortunately I never read the instructions and rather than ‘use sparingly’ I used the full tin. Took weeks to get his hair back to something like the correct colour.
  • Before his first day at school I bought the required school uniform. Unfortunately rather than picking up 3 pairs of trousers I might have picked up 3 girls school skirts.
  • Son wanted a Christmas themed jumper for a Woolies party at school. I thought I had bought a Transformers Christmas sweater. It ended up being a pink Princess one. For some reason son refused to wear it.
  • One I’ve already mentioned on the blog. Took son to see Captain Marvel. I ended up getting our son into the wrong screen showing a 3D version of Dumbo.
  • On our sons birth certificate I misspelt his middle name so had to have it changed later.
  • On our pups second night with us I let him sleep on our sons bed – as the first night had gone so well. I woke to find the duvet completely shredded.
  • I painted our sons bedroom in the green colour he had always asked for. It was a lovely job. When son looked at the finished makeover his response was

Dad I wanted blue”

  • I might have let son watch a few minutes of DeadPool. In my defence I thought it was going to be just like Spiderman and didn’t bother checking the movie rating. I think he learned quite a few new or interesting words in those few minutes.
  • I bought him a manga movie that he wanted for his birthday. Unfortunately I messed up and he had to watch the Japanese language version.
  • At his schools end of year party I volunteered to cook the pizzas in the school kitchen. I got distracted and burnt all of them to crisp and set off the school fire alarms.
  • I bought our son a slinky toy for a Christmas present. I remember the fun I had as a kid watching the toy happily works it’s way done the stairs.

Dad is this a slinky toy.”

Sure is son. Hours of fun. Clever Santa.

Dad shouldn’t Santa know that we live in a bungalow so we don’t have any stairs.”

I’m sure we all have had these moments. So what are some of your classics?

74 thoughts on “Slinky Toy Woes

  1. I don’t have children, but I am sure I would have been a champion at these… If I may, I’ll add one from a co-worker, a couple of years back, who had a toddler back then. So that morning, I was already at the office, and she was getting to work about half an hour after me. A couple of minutes before the beginning of her shift, the phone rings and she tells me that she is down in the parking lot, but will be a bit late to work (?!?). It so happened that she drove all the way to the office, but as she was getting her lunch on the back seat of the car, she noticed she had totally forgotten to drop the little Miss at child care!! She was still in the car seat, sleeping deeply. ๐Ÿ˜‰ See? you’re not too bad ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I donโ€™t have any children, though I often ยซย borrowย ยป those of friends for a few days but never long enough to have committed any faux pas. However, Iโ€™m sure youโ€™re no different to hundreds of other parents. Parentingโ€™s a tough job IMHO and thereโ€™s no ยซย one size fits allย ยป.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Stuff I’ve already posted about but the kids have got me in trouble more than anything.

    I took them out of school (aged 7 and 9yrs) for two days to go Glastonbury. Told school they were both dying of some deathly contagious illness only to be busted when BBC 3 had live coverage and showed both kids sat up on our shoulders at the front of the crowd rocking out during the Chemical Brothers Set :/

    Another time I let them stay off school after a really heavy snowfall overnight. Rang in and said my car couldn’t get up the lane and so on and so forth.

    Next parents evening Hannah had written all about it โ€œMy Mum let me stay off school and build a snowmanโ€

    I didn’t parent in the most orthodox way but to be fair, kids missing a day of school to play in deep snow (which we rarely see) and two days at the end of summer term to go Glastonbury is character building and a lesson in its own way.

    Your little hiccups made me laugh aloud though. One day when the kids are older they’ll look back and laugh at your choice movies, fashion faux paux and buying a slinky for a bungalow which I absolutely love by the way. That’s a whole new level of epic.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you. Yours made me laugh. I remember a chap at work claiming he had a really bad back and was completely bedridden. Unfortunately on all of the BBC news programmes that night they showed a clip of an international cricket match and a close up of the crowd applauding and it zoomed in on the smiling face of the so called bedridden one.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha!!! Yep that’s what happened to us. Said kids right there rocking out when they were supposed to be bedridden with the most contagious illness ever to have hit the UK. Best things is the teachers made a point of letting me know I’d been busted – same with the snow day. They could have just given us the benefit of doubt and assumed that being unable to get the car up the road led to the snowman making but she knew.. she knew FULL WELL what was what and made a point of opening Hannah’s book at the page where my ass was busted good and proper.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. That pink Rhododenron is absolutely magnificent – great job greenfingers! ๐Ÿ™‚

    No kids so no stuff ups! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    It’s a pity you have SUCH a good memory… if that were me i’d be doing all i could to forget each and every one of those doozies. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    It should be of some consolation though that on your blog you have so far detailed countless times when you have shown yourself to be the kind of person who frequently goes ‘above and beyond’ to do the things for your son that are turning him into the amazingly gifted and beautiful soul that he is – and will continue to be – under your care.

    (In spite of your true confessions!!) ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Keep it Up, Gonzo!
    (the Magnificent Ft Mr Crimble). ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I started early. Number one son is not even a day old. My turn to put on the nappy. I approach this nervy looking bundle with confidence and in a trice the nappy is on. ‘Where are his arms?’ Asks the midwife. Comfortably warm on the inside. I’ve nailed swaddling early

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Your first two remind me of my classic. Years ago when Jackie and I were separated and I was desperate to mend it, I took her to see a Woody Allen film, the name of which I don’t remember. The theme was far too near the knuckle for me. Incidentally, I’m not so sure that your films were so disastrous – all depends on the films’ treatments.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Aww you are the loveliest of fathers.. Truly. I don’t see some of those early ‘mistakes’ as mistakes but divine coincidences. You truly have a heart of gold, an amazing ability to laugh and find humour. You are a bloody inspiration. AINT NO DOUBT ABOUT IT โค

    Liked by 5 people

  8. You could be the star of a sit-com! Bless you – this would be priceless Saturday evening entertainment.

    The pizza scene at the school is just the kind if scenario where I would have lost control and would have been crying with laughter.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. My Dad once thought he was doing his bit in making tea for us and served up cooked daffodils. Swear to God he thought they were spring onions, threw them in some boiling water, strained and plated them up for us. That was mentioned at his funeral amongst many other stuff he did the whole church was howling with laughter.

    Sometimes failing massively is pure win ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 3 people

  10. I don’t have kids, but my classic was when I lived in Canada.

    It was a usual journey home when I was making reminder notes to myself on a little recorder (this is pre-mobile phone era). I drove into a McDonald’s to pick up a late evening meal for me and my partner. I ordered Quarter Pounders and Fries at the first window in the drive through. Paid my money and waited for my turn at the second pick up window. Continuing my peruse of work thoughts, when the car in front pulled out, I followed. I drove all the way home (three miles or so) and unloaded my car of work paraphanalia. My parter asked where the food was? I looked around, still not clued in to the fact that I had not stopped to pick it up. After hunting around in my car, I gave up and called McDonalds… “Er, do you have my Quarter Pounders and Fries?” Barely muffled laughter greeted me. Apparently I had totally ignored them as they pushed the bag out of the window and almost taken the staff member’s hand off as I zoomed past.
    I sheepishly went back to collect a newly cooked order. They laughed out loud at me. ๐Ÿคฃ

    Liked by 2 people

      1. No, I don’t think I did. I was never a huge fan of McDonalds. It was just convenient. I eat just whole food plant based now, so McDonalds never see me, unless I’m desperately needing a loo! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  11. Ha ha – at least your son will grow up with an awesome appreciation of humour Gary – that counts for more, l had a father who was always in competition with me, when he died, l didn’t miss him. I shed a single tear and then l was done. I had no great memories to fall back on. Least your boy will. he’ll remember that when you were at your lowest you did your absolute best and had great humour in the process. I am astonished however that he wouldn’t wear the pink sweater – l mean it’s such a lovely colour??

    Go figure …kids these days huh? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Great post as usual.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. I have to say thank you for providing me with my morning snort giggle. I am sorry but you are hilarious. Your son is straight man to yourself. I love reading these stories of you and your parenting skills. We are all there. We did not receive a manual and are just winging it. It is the relationship that you have with your son that is all important not the other stuff. You are doing an awesome job never forget that. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

  13. ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ I think this is the point at which my counselor would tell me to list all the good things I’ve done…

    Liked by 2 people

  14. All I saw in each incident was a father’s love. Your boy is blessed to have you.

    Keep up the blogging, more parents need to read this instead of all those stuffy do-it-right manuals.

    And I loooooved those flowers!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Ooooooh man. Yeah, I’ve had these moments. Forgotten completely about birthday parties Blondie was invited to. Brought undercooked/overcooked food to church potlucks and family fun nights. And don’t get me started on the paint job I attempted in Blondie’s room. And who hasn’t cocked up a movie night? You’re doing beautifully, Dad, make no mistake. xxxxx

    Like

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