Dad you have just made that up. I’m not having your favourite desert as a kid was called a Knickerbocker Glory”

It was. It was the ultimate childhood treat. I sometimes feel as old as Captain America – in a time before Windows 1.0, in a time before Rubiks really annoying Cube, probably even before VHS Recorders. The Knickerbocker became a bit of favourite for me. It’s was layered ice cream and fruit sundae heaven. And where did they get those tall conical glasses from. Yes a favourite but certainly not part of our weekly routine.

One of the things you get accustomed to as a Aspergers Parent is routine. Routine after routine. Plans have to be made. Schedules adhered to. Day after day, week after week. Anxiety inducing change avoided. This applies to all facets of life – meals included. We have a set meal programme. It never varies. Occasionally it does, life happens and it really can freak him out. Some people just don’t understand it. I remember one conversation with a mum in the playground.

Say that again, he has the same meal programme every week. Well you should put your foot down and just give him something different. It’s so easy to spoil a kid.”

And I remember another mum who then chipped in with

I agree he will get over it in a few days.”

Luckily not all the parents are like that. But it is worrying that this level of ignorance about autism still exists today. For the record this is the meal routine.

*********************************

Monday (School Lunch) – Flapjacks

Monday (Non School Lunch) – Salad

Monday (Evening) – Skinless Sausages and Beans

Tuesday (School Lunch) – as Monday

Tuesday (Non School Lunch) – as Monday

Tuesday (Evening) – Mince and Rice

Wednesday (School Lunch) – as Monday

Wednesday (Non School Lunch) – as Monday

Wednesday (Evening) – Spaghetti

Thursday (School Lunch) – as Monday

Thursday (Non School Lunch) – as Monday

Thursday (Evening)- Sausages and Chips

Friday (School Lunch) – as Monday

Friday (Non School Lunch) – as Monday

Friday (Evening) – Pizza

Saturday (Lunch) – Beef Burger and Jacket Potatoes

Saturday (Tea) – Chicken Korma and Rice

Sunday (Lunch) – Strangely Yorkshire Sunday Lunch

Sunday (Evening) – Salad

Repeated every week

*********************************

I won’t discount the need for some change. If it’s carefully controlled. It helps prepare him better for the unexpected stuff. But only when it’s managed in such a way as to limit the anxiety attack. In terms of the food regime every so often I will intentionally change a meal, but hopefully in a good way. Trying to make the point that change can be a good thing. So last week Spaghetti became cottage pie. Actually it was changed to cottage pie, bottle of Fanta followed by arctic roll. See change can be good.

The food regime does sometimes change unexpectedly……

Dad that smells like burning food. If you have burnt the mince then I think you should take us out for a Taco Bell. Maybe we should try that one day.”

91 thoughts on “It’s meal time again.

  1. Not believing you about the Knickerbocker?? I blame the school and education system for the failure there. Normally he’s quite good on Ancient History?? 😉

    So you don’t feel so ‘weird’ about your food habits… i have two breakfasts (toast/cereal – porridge in the cooler months) taken on alternate days, with a bacon and egg toastie on Sundays! Then there is a ‘set’ dinner menu for Monday – Sunday nights, repeated ad nauseum. 🙂

    I don’t burn my food! 😉 ( but then i don’t have kids, cats, chaotic dogs or exploding washing machines to deal with!)

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I live in a modern, technologically advanced part of the world where we have a device called a m-i-c-r-o-wave, a kind of metal box that heats up food, even frozen food, and makes it hot and fresh tasting! We also have refrigerated transport which keeps food edible for long periods of time after it has been cooked.

        Isn’t Science wonderful?? 🙂

        Actually thanks to our underfunded government postal system (that was partly sold off and franchised decades ago) it would be cheaper for me to give you the money to go to a good restaurant that makes Shepherd’s Pie rather than pay the exorbitant postage on a frozen home-made one!)

        But really i was originally thinking i might actually be able to cook you a hot pie in person, assuming it might be possible one day for me to visit some of my old haunts… but i would not hold my breath while waiting! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember the first time we were taken to a restaurant (mum had just started work so it was more affordable)…I must have been ten or eleven. My parents took us to a place famous for their desserts and said we could order anything we wanted. Milly chose a knickerbocker glory. I was terrified of what it might be. I could not envision it. So I played safe and chose a banana boat. Mandy chose a side salad.

    I must admit we ate a lot of the same thing as children, more because it was a challenge to feed seven children, rather than because of our own choice. As an adult I really need variety. I love to try new flavours and have as many different cuisines in my diet as I can.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sounds fine to me. My husband especially would love all those sausages! Clearly there needs to be a revival of the Knickerbocker Glory, not that I can remember ever having had one. Now’s the time!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I understand.
        Do take care of your nutritional needs, maybe more salads, fruits, for yourself – if it doesn’t upset him to see you eating differently. If it does, maybe you could do this when he’s at school.
        I’m sorry if I sound like those playground mums.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. “Just serve it and don’t offer them anything else until they eat it. When they get hungry enough, you’ll see, then they’ll eat it.” or “Just make them eat it.” Which I really don’t know how that works. But someone always has an opinion. We have a routine in our food too. Each one is different for each kid, but I’m okay with it.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s difficult to rationalise to people who live in Victorian mental attitudes. If kids don’t like something, they would rather not eat at all… Not the easiest method of getting some form of nutrition into them.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Sounds good to me Gary. ALL of that stuff is always readily available. So his diet need never change if that troubles him. A d stra pngely, I am the same regarding change, and I kind of understand, yet I am not autistic. But change scares me also, sometimes to the point of total panic. I feel for him – and you. You and he are a great team though 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh sweet Jesus people are idiots. Day to day people it’s almost to be expected it’s when you get professionals and people that are supposed to be a little more clued up you want to beat to death.

    The panel that refused Sam the only secondary school place that was suitable for him were breathtakingly ignorant. 30+ pages submitted with reports from OT, SALT, Ed Psychologist, Clinical Psychologist and head teacher in school which specifically stated his difficulties and said the school they were trying to send him was too much for him to manage and leave him a casualty of the system.

    They decided all that was irrelevant and he could manage at the school because he didn’t have regular medication. I shit you not. One of them asked if I had any other children and “Well what’s she like… I mean is she normal?”

    Had already written in the paperwork Sam’s older sister was at the secondary school they wanted to send him and he would be seeking her out all the time and / or she would be so worried and trying to look after him. She’d done that throughout primary school and it wasn’t fair to put that on her again.

    The straw that broke it was his next statement “Well the school you want Sam to attend is four miles further away look (showed me paper with distance) you’d literally be driving past the bigger one to get him there and back it’s not exactly cost efficient”

    Me “Well fu@k me why didn’t someone tell me that sooner? I’d have been doing an extra eight mile round trip think of how much fuel that’d cost?”

    Routine is a good thing and whilst Sam drives me nuts sometimes he has never missed a single day of college, never been late, never needed reminding or asking to do coursework and his worth ethic is on point.

    Your son’s meal plan is great and if nothing else it’ll help you to plan and budget for your shopping I’m amazed the other school Mum’s weren’t envious of having a child that likes to have a set meal plan and sticks to it.

    Lastly, I recommend introducing him to the staple 70’s pudding that is “Spotted Dick” 😀

    Like

    1. He doesn’t like currents. It was a favourite of mine when mum was with us with custard. It is staggering but sadly not isolated. We have been turned down on similar grounds for extra support. Excuses used not on regular medication, not cost effective, not available in your area, your father is not on benefits, nothing you can do with dyslexia, can’t have individual support as the money available to him has to be spent on general school budgets. Frustrating beyond belief.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. WHAT???????????

        I’m gonna write a post and link you into it which will be on the subject of professionals that think they know best, don’t even consider never mind encourage input and involvement from relatives and people that know someone best.

        I’ll come back.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. People don’t understand what they haven’t experienced themselves. Take their comments with a grain of salt in order to preserve your own sanity. 😉 Nothing wrong with routine … whatever keeps him happy.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I wouldn’t even want to, for on his current diet, surely he will die of clogged arteries sooner than later. If he started eating healthy food, he might live another 20 years! Perish the thought!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I am with son on the school lunches. I hated them and I hated packed sandwiches (usually threw most of them away). I think, I might have eaten flapjacks, along with a banana (loved bananas and still do). Mostly I went without, or sneaked off to the chip shop to spend my bus fare, which meant that I had a one and a half hour walk home and had to come up with reasons why I was so late. Turns out, I’m gluten intolerant (maybe Coeliac like some family members). There is always a reason that kids have trouble with some foods. Gut instincts.

      Like

      1. I am talking about sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli, but also some cabbages and mustard greens.

        Spring onions, shallots and leeks do not have the same high sulphur content as cooking onions.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I appreciate how important routine is, be it food or day to day living for someone like your son having worked with a young man who could not deal with the slightest change without going into meltdown.
    I have basic meals, but try to rotate them, though my spaghetti bolognese, chili, lasagna and cottage pie are all based on the same recipe! We had chicken curry today, but last week the chicken was cooked with pineapple and ginger. Salads and I are not bosom pals, but I’ve had two these past two days, both with eggs as I LOVE boiled eggs. No more for the week now though.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Excellent post Gary and l remember the Knickers with pleasure, and yes l am of course talking about the pant … no no the dessert! They had those wafers in as well and Little Chef used to sell them as well.

    Does son have problems with food touching or different colours on the plate?

    Got to love people, NOT, sadly autism ignorance is still ever present.

    I am better these days, was always good with food, mind you in my household as a kid, if l said anything negative about my food is was three swift blet flicks and off to bed with nothing at all – until the next days evening dinner. The one thing l had serious problems with was basically routine changes. These days l don’t volcanically erupt like l did as a child though.

    Again great post.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely, but you know Gary that reminds me of something Temple used to say and that is if not for autism, the socialites would still be in the damn cave, whilst the Aspie was in the corner making spears 🙂 Autism needs society, but equally society needs autism.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. For years my granddaughter would eat nothing but pasta, lettuce and, of all things, sushi. My breakfast is identical every day of the world as is my evening meal. Because I’m retired, we eat our large meal at lunch, and that varies from day to day. There’s a lot to be said for routine!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Ah, I love the ignorant advice! I’ve handed out a bit, too, before I had more experience and my wiser relative told me that her son simply will not eat. Will not.

    We’ve also had some success in meal regimen changes by doing theme foods with films. Like, trying dumplings when we watched Kung Fu Panda.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Probably. The second movie especially goes into a sad moment. It’s written around learning Po’s back story which is that his mother gets killed.

        Liked by 2 people

  12. Good heavens. Well then I gotta ask if those mums were always home with those kids all day, day after day. I have noticed that kids who go to day care tend to be more flexible eaters–they see everyone else eating stuff, there’s only that stuff available, etc. Okay, I get that. Biff would be content eating peanut butter sandwiches, mango, carrots, and a slice of cheese for every meal every day if he could. I’ve only just now started making the boys eat meat, saying if they take three bites, THEN they can have a sandwich or toast (because Bash insists on toast. Biff hates toasts. Twins!) This has been working so far–not with them liking the new foods, but at least shoving it in their mouths so they can get back to routine.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Nothing wrong with a little independence. 🙂 Eh, I’m a little okay. No one’s fault–it’s storming here, so of course I’m on edge checking the sump pump every few minutes. I was going to write this morning, but not sure that’ll happen now…we’ll see…

        Liked by 1 person

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