Birds are very trusting. Well they are in our garden and they were in my parents garden. Whatever you put out for them – they would just crack on eating it. I remember being told as a kid
“Don’t fall over when your feeding them because they will start on you next”
Maybe that’s why I was allowed to watch a certain Hitchcock movie soon after.
Son is the opposite. Need to confirm details like oven temperature, sell by dates, cooking times, fridge temperature, cleanliness of utensils before food is deemed safe to eat. Limited trust in food.
I remember as a kid when our family got its first ever microwave oven. It was the size of a small city. When unpacked it was time to test the beast. I was sent into the kitchen with a cup of cold water. I tried to explain what the buttons did but quickly realised my parents had legged it. The kitchen door slammed shut with Mum and Dad hid behind it. Safely behind the blast protection I was told to begin the process of warming the glass of water. Clearly to my parents this was on the same risk level as an exposed nuclear reactor core. Thinking about it if it had been that dangerous clearly I was the expendable one. Not sure Dad ever used the new cooking device. He had zero trust in the nuclear age.
All those years later and we still are talking trust.
- School are trying to convince me that they are doing everything possible to help our son with his dyslexia.
- The Council is trying to convince parents like me that they are providing a class leading Autism Support Service to all its children. Suppose that includes our son.
- The Council is trying to convince me that it is a waste of time for our son to be seen by an Educational Psychologist as it won’t achieve anything meaningful which could be used to tailor his schooling.
- The Paediatrician is trying to convince me that I should push for an Educational Psychologist to see our son as it will help tailor his schooling and come up with specific interventions to help him. It will also reduce the demand on his department.
- The Health Service is trying to convince me that because our son is a low priority and doesn’t fall into a service which has been commissioned then he doesn’t need any specific support over the coming years.
We are expected to trust the professionals and follow their advice without questioning it. Clearly they know best. Clearly they only have the best interest of our son at heart. Finance and budgets don’t influence decisions. They will provide support and care at times to suit the kids not the professionals. What do we know – we are not trained. We are not professionals. Leave the care to the experts. A few years back I was naive and I believed this crap.
The looks you get when you do have the audacity to question or worse to say NO.
Don’t get me wrong this is not all professionals. You come across brilliant ones. But the funny thing is that they are often the ones who listen the most. The ones who push the idea that the kids and parents should take ownership of the care package.
So back to trust. Trust in the system. It is none existent. You have to question everything. Push for answers. Don’t be afraid to say NO. Ask for second opinions. AND when the inevitable brick wall hits
The ‘service is not available’, the ‘your child doesn’t meet the criteria’, the ‘forgotten about’ zone, the ‘just go along with the treatment’ train line.
Be prepared to fight. No guarantees of success but it’s worth it. The kids deserve it.