It’s been one of those days. Lack of sleep, work piling up, house falling to bits, nothing seeming to go to plan. Mood level – somewhere between not great and moody. This photograph sorta sums it up.

Well Son went to school for the first time since he had his accident at school last week. He was still in a lot of pain but we decided to give it a go. Dosed up on child painkillers he was dropped off. School given clear instructions to contact me immediately if he was struggling with the pain and I would pick him up.

No phone call came from school so I assumed things went ok. If only.

Apparently during his first lesson the pain started to get worse. At the end of the lesson the class teacher noticed he was struggling and he was told to get his bag and go to reception. Reception then sent him to see a senior teacher – a teacher who has had no contact with our son previously. Son told him the circumstances, that he was struggling with pain and the instructions I had given school. The teacher went onto the computer and after a few seconds said something like

“You have had a lot of time off. Your attendance record is too poor for you to be sent home. Go to reception get some painkillers and then go to your next lesson.”

So he stayed in school, in pain and in his words not able to concentrate on any of his lesson.

Mood level now – pissed off.

Yes his attendance record has dropped below 95% – a Government target. Yet that’s because he has had two accidents AT SCHOOL which have required hospital intervention and medically approved time off. Take those out and his record is just about 100%.

So it appears that if attendance drops below 95% then regardless of pain level or illness, a child will not be sent home. However a child with an attendance over 95% would be sent home. Apparently today a girl fell over and hurt her knee. She was in tears and clearly in a lot of pain but was not sent home due to her attendance record. Yet a boy who had a sore throat was sent home because they had a good attendance record.

Mood level now – Apoplectic.

So tomorrow I will drop off son and then demand to see the Headteacher. The only reason I’m not doing it now is that son wants me to calm down as he doesn’t trust me at the moment. That is probably a really good call.

105 thoughts on “Moody”

  1. I am not sure that I would have had your control. Granted after being told there were probably no teachers left at school. I am telling you that I would be ripping a strip off of that teacher. And your gov’t expects a 95% attendance? That boggles my mind. I am speechless right now and well you know it takes a lot to render me speechless. I am fairly certain that even given time to cool off I would still be livid the next morning and on a rampage. Good luck tomorrow and try not to punch the head teacher. (Even if deserved.)
    Hugs 🙂

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  2. I called a family member today to have them tell me I have to get over my grief….its not right and my son wouldn’t like it…as you can imagine , life and grief don’t work that way. I honor your path everyday , big hugs to you and your son. Everyday is so different now.

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  3. You just can’t win…

    Back when my first kid went to Montessori daycare a few mornings a week (age 18 month to 3 yrs) the teachers were told verbally which kid had which allergies and what the procedures were. Of course teachers get sick or have days away just like everyone else, and then the supply staff would either not be told, or not be informed exclusively, or would forget since they don’t know the kids the way the regular teacher would etc. By the time my second started there 2.5 years later, I noticed that each classroom had a page posted to the wall next to the main door with a photo of the child, and a list of the allergies and methods/medication and emergency contact phone numbers. I thought…ok, this is an improvement. There were usually about 3 or 4 posters per classroom…I assume they would brief the staff ahead of time if a new person would join the classroom.

    Seems like protocols exist, but whether it actually gets followed…your story is just another example of kids falling through the cracks. SIGH. So sorry.

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  5. Yes… my grandson was accused of faking it and missing too much school (uk school in diff country). They were following rules… no school until 24 hours post vomit… well, since there is no fever involved they (school etc) decided he should go to school anyway. Daughter gets call from school— he’s thrown up, please come get him. She arrives… they say to my daughter, wide eyed… he vomits a lot!! (He did it on the lift). He gets migraines…. they now mostly believe him.

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    2. RuthScribbles, I hope your Grandson gets properly diagnosed. Migraines in children is highly unusual. The repeated vomiting suggests something very wrong. If it were me, I would demand a brain scan. I would be very concerned.

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  6. “You have had a lot of time off. Your attendance record is too poor for you to be sent home. Go to reception get some painkillers and then go to your next lesson”

    Me the second I read that –

    “Well who’s fault is that BITCH?? Hmmm? If he’s needing a lot of time off maybe you’re not doing your job in supporting and making sure he doesn’t need to. Now get some painkillers from your draw, shove them up your arse sideways and go work on doing your job”

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      1. With blood that can boil for hours, I’m hardly the one to offer any advice in this situation.
        But I will pray for you because we too faced a nasty situation with my 8 yr old a few years back and honestly, I wanted the school head dead for what she did. My husband and I went through a few options of action. For some reason, nothing seemed the right fit. My husband wanted to storm over to the school; I felt a letter should be written, with the implied threat that we’d take it further up if the situation recurred.

        Finally, despite agreeing to go with the letter, we started snapping and barking at each other. That’s when I realised we were going the wrong way. Something was off.

        I then withdrew from the conversation and prayed, asking God what He wanted us to do, very confident it would be what we agreed upon.

        Instead, I sensed God telling me, No. Let this one go..

        Needless to say, my husband was truly upset, unconvinced it was the right thing to do. Still, he agreed to step back that one time, warning me that if the incident happened again, he’d go in with or without me.

        It turned out that our child never suffered that same situation again but there were a few others where I had to step in. Sure, the school grudgingly gave in each time but years later, they blocked my bright, smart and responsible child, popular with the kids and teachers, from holding any student position in the school.

        I’ve no regrets doing what I did for my kid and she understands the whys. But I knew she cried herself to sleep a few nights.

        My only consolation was that it would have been much worse for her had we gone raging into the school that 1st time.

        I’m in no way suggesting that you not go. But I will pray that whatever you do, when you do it and how you do it, it’ll be in the best interests of your lad, for as long as he needs to be in that school.

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  9. the loss of reason when it comes to school logistics is crazy now a days. these are kids for cripes sakes. give your kiddo a hug from a far away friend.

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  10. Unbelievable. What a dumb policy. I can’t believe that it is a legal one. Your son displayed a good level of maturity in asking you to calm down first. You are proud of him, I’m sure.

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  11. OMG this actually causes me acute heart pain to read. They are so bloody switched off. Hellooo who would want to be there when the place is so lacking in compassion and even noticing what is really going down.. Sorry this comment probably isn’t at all helpful but its just plain wrong. Sending you both a big hug. xoox

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      3. Maintain the rage… I mean they put you in such a frustrated helpless place doing what they do, especially when you specifically asked its like yelling into a void. Sorry I don’t mean to stir you up just validating its bloody stupid and tough.

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      1. I won’t be surprised that you are. It’s constant battles for your son’s needs, to help him through school you keep facing.

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      3. I know constant battles can very tiring. I hope you are doing ok and looking after you, while you do the best for your son.

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  20. Making kids fit into a mold to promote efficiency. Making education an assembly line production. That’s what happens when we lose the vision of raising children. The production model is a ridiculous disservice and an insult to each and every child put into such a system. Compulsory unless you have the money to choose n alternative. Wow, we as a society have lost our way without realizing it. How sad and disgusting.

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  21. Sigh… I hope you have maintained enough anger to tear a big strip off the school for ‘stupid practice.’ Attendence records mean nothing if they happened to give your son the wrong dort of medication. Seriously, are they allowed to do that?

    I was always hurting myself at school. I fell from some gym equipment, landing badly. I hurt my arm (it was broken), but when I went to the teacher who had watched me fall (not crying, but in pain), he simply took my hand and shook my arm up and down vigorously, sending shock waves of pain and bringing tears. He then thought I was being over dramatic and told me to go and get changed (a punishment for naughty kids). A half hour later, the other girls came in and saw me half dressed, sobbing because I couldn’t get my school shirt on. They went and found the teacher. He still thought I was shaming, but went and fetched the school nurse who was visiting that day. She drove me home, telling my mum that she needed to take me to the hospital. My Dad didn’t arrive home until 7pm…9 hrs after the break. At 9pm I finally had the prognosis. My arm was such a mess and so swollen by this time that they could not cast it. I spent six weeks with my arm taped to my body and could not attend school. I returned just in time for the 11+ exam, which I knew nothing about and was totally unprepared for. Most kids get pre lessons, and sometimes coaching to get through. I failed because I was only two thirds the way through when the time up bell sounded.

    This diatribe is to reinforce the point that teachers do not have medical training. They can seriously interfere with a child’s ability to perform when they ‘diagnose’ anything. It is something that they are not legally allowed to do! Parents should always be called when a child is in bad pain. It is the parental responsibility to make the decision, not the school who open themselves upto severe liability.

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  23. Pingback: Moody – A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. – International Badass Activists

  25. You are a stronger person than I, for within minutes, me and my solid wooden rolling pin would have been at that school and beating the crap out of that teacher! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I am so mad I am shaking over this! What the Sam Heck does it matter if his attendance drops below 95% … if he’s injured and cannot concentrate, he isn’t learning anyway. Have those ninnies forgotten that the purpose of a child going to school is to learn???? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. A hug for your son 🤗 and one for you 🤗. Give ’em hell tomorrow, my friend!

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  26. How did this turn out? I would be down to complain as well, yet get the sense I have more sway at my school than you do at yours. :/

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      1. ! I think too many American parents bully the system… but this is a case where I’d feel I had a legitimate reason to be irate.

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  28. GAH! See, this is why the high turnover of teacher can be so dangerous–we constantly have teachers who may be good teachers and have experience elsewhere, but they have NO relationship with the kids here and now and therefore don’t know what’s going on, thereby making things worse.

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  29. Oh God, I was feeling the anger as I read.
    It’s so good your son sees your emotions going through progressive stages – you will be able to analyse them in a few days, in a quiet moment together. AFTER you’ve got all the so-called adults on the right bloody page 🙄🙈

    Good luck with the logistics first

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