Need to lower the blood pressure so it’s time to go bizarre.

The wonderful Chelsea Owens hosts a weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. This is my entry for this week. Remember it is supposed to be terrible – not that I could ever write proper poetry.

My poem is dedicated to the wonderful and incredibly gifted people we have vying to become our next Prime Minister. This week terrible poems have to be kept clean. Drat.. the fun I was going to have with Hunt and Hancock…

A better rhyme for Boris involved deporting him to Wisconsin – but I wouldn’t do that to those very fine people.


The ten amazing PM candidates

Needed since the dreadful May abdicates

Boris Johnson

Looking out for number one

Jeremy Hunt

No more than an embarrassing publicity stunt

Michael Gove

Slowly disappearing in all the cocaine lies you wove

Dominic Raab

Wouldn’t trust you with a kebab

Sajid Javid

You make our police so livid

Matt Hancock

Talks utter poppycock

Mark Harper

Completely incompetent usurper

Esther McVey

Only wants you to obey

Rory Stewart

The leadership qualities of a Raspberry Tart

Andrea Leadsom

Will only bring national doom

That is Britain Today

A country in complete disarray

56 thoughts on “Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. Pity about the rules abstaining from swear words – pretty much the only things that are appropriate to the situation.

    However – with that restriction you made a fine product Sir.

    Is Jeremy Hunt the member for Scunt-horpe?? 😉

    When did Captain Chaos switch from crocodiles to ducks??

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Surely you must have won a medal for that utterly terrible poem! 🤣🤣🤣 I hope it did serve to lower your blood pressure. Oh … and by the way … please do NOT send any of your idiots and fools over here, for we have enough of our own! 😱

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I loved “Wouldn’t trust you with a kebab” and “The leadership qualities of a raspberry tart” best. All in all, you failed to write a terrible poem and succeeded at composing a humorous, insightful, enjoyable one 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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