Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s because we are tired. Maybe it’s just life. We are both fighting bouts of self doubt and are feeling really low at present.

Our son is getting some mixed end of year school results. Top mark in his class in some subjects like Science. He’s feeling very different to the other kids in his class. Yet getting lower marks in subjects he should be flying in like Maths. This is really perplexing for him. Plus the school has a house tie system. You need to get a set number of house points to qualify for a house tie. This tie gives you certain privileges at times like school lunch. He was getting close to hitting his target but has now found a new obstacle. Apparently in addition to the house points you also need to join in with two school clubs. That means extra time at school, doing things he has little interest in and mixing with kids he does not know. That is a nightmare for someone with Aspergers. So now he is doubting himself and trying to face up to some of his demons again. As a result he is very low and struggling to sleep. So basically not happy.

I’m really tired. That tired feeling when you are sat in the evening and you suddenly get that snapping neck feel as you have suddenly nodded off for a second. Worrying about son. Deeply missing people I love. Worrying over schooling. Doubts over my parenting. Worrying about what happens if something happens to me. Worrying about money. Worrying about life. Losing any social skills I once had. Not sleeping. It doesn’t help that I’m still banned from running and exercise. Don’t tell the Doctor but I’ve dug out a very old exercise bike. A bike which have two resistance settings – free wheel and wheel locked solid. A bike which must be made of Lead as it clearly weighs more than two elephants. Anyway I’m trying to use it a bit but it’s bloody painful. So basically not happy

At least we have a distraction today. Straight after school we are on the motorway heading 100 miles (car permitting) to see Lynyrd Skynyrd and Status Quo. As son said

Not often you can get to see older dinosaurs than you Dad – JUST. Plus I’m interested to see how good these legends are. I suspect very good”

We will have to see if the Yorkshire Lancashire border crossing is open. Fingers crossed.

77 thoughts on “Fingers crossed

  1. So sorry your son is stuck in a system that sets him up to fail. Last year our dyslexic then seven year old’s class teacher said she needed to play sports. Her Mum says she just does not have the co-ordination for the necessary ball or bat skills. I wonder if this is going to be a problem for her at secondary school. She does go to hip hop dance classes which she loves and gets into most enthusiastically. Will that help I wonder ? Probably not.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You cope with so much and look at you still going out and having fun. I think its the best remedy to that schizoid schooling system. God you need the patience of a saint to deal with the mixed up world of today, I can understand how tiring it gets. Hope you both have the great time you deserve at the concert.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. That’s a great photo! I’ve seen that exact plant somewhere recently….??

    Distractions are generally considered to be bad things when trying to get something done… but your situation is Anything but usual so i say: “GO FOR IT!” – and enjoy the Dinosaurs. 🙂

    Leave the bike – Tai Chi! I’m serious!!

    Aaron’s Beard!! ( Hypericum calycinum ) – that’s the flower! Should you be wondering?? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Most people just know of the Tai Chi ‘kata’ or fixed progression of steps done slowly, but it is a true Martial Art/Philosophy that can be used like Karate or Wing Chun, including training with weapons, for self-defence or attack. It also has great health benefits, both physical and mental.

        You will get more out of it when you put more into it! 😉

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  4. What an unfair system! My kids were much too stressed out to ever do anything social in school. It’s only since they left that they are relaxed enough to join any clubs. Right now they’re doing a Circus course.

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      1. Actually they do! The course they’re doing is specifically for autistic people and there’s a few adult autistics taking it too. I opted out this time so I can get some kid-free time now that I’m homeschooling them.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. School systems should work around the children not tick boxes. It irritates the hell out of me. Every child is different whether they have special needs or not. I feel your frustration. Anyway pretty sure the border is open at the moment, wouldn’t stay too long though! Have a great time. Oh & Yoga! Plenty of men doing it! Honestly it’s amazing- just saying 👍

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  6. You’re a wonderful parent!!! And Your son will absolutely flllyyyyyy in life regardless of the silly school things he’s having to go through. It’s beyond understanding that guidelines are made to be so cookie-cut and ridiculous this day and age. I hope the concert was a blast, that it all works out and that You both are able to get peaceful sleep soon. Rock on with Your beautiful selves!!! 🙂

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  7. Hope that at least you enjoyed the concert. I get your tiredness. Your son is probably way beyond the others at his school. I have a feeling he is going to do great once he gets outa that place. He is VERY intelligent

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sorry to hear you are both feeling down. The weather doesn’t hep much either.
    Lovely day today, which was enough to lift our spirits after current events.
    Your son is amazing at so many things, how I wish the so called ‘professionals’ could see that and beyond their damned tick lists.
    Hope the concert was good.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I can only echo what others have said, in that you’re dealing with a heck of a lot and I think you should take stock in just how well you’re doing considering what you’re both up against. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so low, so I really hope you both enjoyed Lynyrd Skynyrd and Status Quo (how can you not?!) xx

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Could your son maybe start his own club, all about something he likes? The sheer initiative taken in doing that should count for 2 ready-made clubs, yes? In my school we ask the kids what sort of clubs they want, and then we set up the ones that get the most votes. Last year I headed up a Metaphysics and Folklore Club where we discussed the existence of God, Ancient Egyptian death rituals, Victorian spiritualism, the origins of Hallowe’en and suchlike. (For older teenagers, obviously, not little ones!)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That is such a shame. Forcing a kid to attend a club completely takes away any pleasure from that club. It wouldn’t take THAT much resource to supervise one new club. Are there sixth formers or prefects in the school? Could they do it as something to put on their UCAS personal statement?

        Liked by 1 person

  11. This is a sad post, but that said, I am sure you and son will find your way out somehow.
    Perhaps, if you have a word with the school, they will allow the points if he completes a couple of projects instead of joining the clubs, to get his badge?

    That biking sounds evil. Tai Chi is a good suggestion (other comments) Combined with Qigong (Chi Gung), it is quite taxing (and strengthening) without over doing the excersise component. I tried Qigong once. I was forty, the rest of the class 60 and over… I couldn’t keep up. Found myself wobbling a lot while others had much strength to hold poses. It looks so easy (if boring) to watch (like waiting for sloths to move), but actually doing it is a real challenge to the mind and the body!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. A concert! Sounds a blast.

    As for clubs…well. Blondie’s going to be pressured by some to join sports she has no interest in. Bo and I would both like her to give music a try, as we both learned instruments at her age. So far she’s willing to give band a go! But that stinks that for your son, he HAS to join for even a shot at some basic school perks. What if he started a club? I’m sure other kids would have fun digging into history or archeology. Heck, they could work together to make their own dungeons’n’dragons style game featuring real medieval kings of old…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Blondie is so creative music might be great for her. At his school the clubs have to be approved and fit in with school policy. Basically means you get to choose from a set list. The school did start a minecraft club. But it suddenly turned into a place where it was dominated by user groups and cliches. Not in the in-crowd then you get pushed to one side.

      Liked by 1 person

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