Life is a permanent fight for survival. That applies to plants. It applies to humans. It applies to me. It probably applies to you.

For me it’s a fight on many fronts

  • Depression
  • Grief
  • Isolation
  • School
  • Government
  • Health Providers
  • Finances
  • Stereotyping
  • Body
  • Tiredness
  • Workload
  • With myself

It’s never ending. As much as you try you can never apparently win. Often your best hope is to just keep in the game. Survive another day.

But the key is to try and talk. Sometimes that is easier said that done. It is so easy for someone to get lost. Cut adrift from society. Friends drop off the radar. Those you love and depend upon are taken from you. That’s when talking becomes a rarity. A quick chat with the postman the closest you get to outside world discourse. It just isn’t enough.

But thankfully we have another weapon available to us. Blogging…. It opens up a new way to talk. To listen. To seek solace. To meet new friends. To feel connected again. To weep. To get angry. To think. Maybe even to laugh.

It’s not for everyone. You sometimes hear the criticism. You may get the occasional critical email.

So to those who accuse some of us of just being attention seekers. Wallowing in our own self importance. Inflating our egos. Maybe you are right, maybe your wrong. But frankly I don’t give a fig. I have more important fights to pursue and for me blogging is now a vital part of my defence system. It helps to prevent me veering towards some very dark places.

Yes it’s a fight but a fight better shared.

111 thoughts on “It’s a fight”

  2. For some it might be about self importance, but for many of us blogging is merely a sharing of life – the good and bad – and discovering that we are not alone in many of our struggles💕. Keep on writing despite the naysayers!

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  3. Any one who said that you are attention seeker should have their heads examined. I am glad that you’re sharing with people on the blogging platform and if it brings you some degree of consolation or any help with useful advice, that is really great. Sharing reduces the burden and makes us realize that other people are struggling too.

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  4. Hello bereavedsingledad. You have so much to deal with that many people couldn’t understand or handle. Please do not listen to those who would drag you down. Best wishes. Hugs

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  6. I completely agree that blogging is a great way to deal with the stresses we face. I don’t think it’s attention-seeking at all. I think it’s just another form of journaling, which is recommended by therapists as a way to deal with our feelings and situations. Sending good thoughts to you.

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  7. And we’re here to share it with you. I started my blog back in 2011 on the advice of a therapist. Although my sadness can’t compare to yours, I found myself faced with depression for the first time in my life, after all three of my kids moved out within a three month period. I went from cooking for five plus friends, to just cooking for two. Blogging really was my bridge across the river and into a better place. Those of us who’ve chosen to follow and read your work are your supporters and friends. Sending you a cyber hug!

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  9. As a person who has always both battled depression and helped so many to over come it I find that it never really goes away. Only lightens for a while, then grows gradually heaver until one day it over comes you and the battle becomes the only thing I see. Writing is my outlet and blogging is great but sometimes blogging is just too “open” a space. sometimes its safer to drop hints in blogging of the everday.

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  11. I love blogging, too! I was never going to blog and then felt I was supposed to. I have enjoyed meeting so many people online. Most of the bloggers are intelligent, thoughtful and caring. It is a great community and one that supports each other! It is such a blessing…agreed!

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  12. I love this! And I totally agree. I have received so much support from my blogging community and I have come to consider many as friends. I am so glad you feel the same way. I love reading your posts, the funny, the sad, and everything in between. Keep on keeping on – you do my heart good.

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  14. So you’ve had those emails as well! Do what you’re doing! Get it out. Don’t listen to morons. You’ve got more in your little finger than they’ve got in their whole bodies. You are the least attention seeking person I’ve ever met. And your blog is incredible. Without your blog U would feel bereft. We all need each other. Keep blogging. Keep talking. Whatever it is. Whatever emotions are there. We all have them. We understand. We’re all here for each other Gary. You are great, and your son is great. And your blog is great. Stuff the rotters! They’re nothing but shit! Xxxx

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      1. Tes and I am so sorry that you have had them too. I was calked an sttention seeker, told that I was holding a pity party, and all of that stuff. It affected me very deeply for a long time. I wanted to tell someone about it because it damaged me within. I became afraid to write anything at all because other things were said too that I cannot repeat. It was a most awful experience and it took me a while to become myself again, and have the confidence to write as I wanted to. I don’t know what these people think they are doing, but we need to be aware of them, and aware that it happens. Forwarned is forearmed! So sorry Gary. Don’t let it affect you. We all love you, and your son too xxxx

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      3. Thanks Rachel. Yes it was awful at the time, for I am blind and wheelchair bound, having had cancer. In the end though, you get up from these things. Thankyou for your kindness Rachel

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      4. Hi, you are most welcome. Hopefully that will never happen again. I suggested to Gary that he repost the email and let his nice readers take care of it for him, that way you aren’t having to do it all alone. Sorry to hear about your health and challenges. You really have gone through a lot. I hope blogging is a good outlet and provides support. Anyway, I shall pop over and check out your blog, all the best. Rachel

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      5. Thankyou so much Rachel. I would have posted mine up, but at the time was so frightened that everyone saw me that way and so would side with this person. In the event I posted ABOUT it, but not the full email. I was afraid of getting into a legal sutuation. In fact I have seen the person who did it to me pist on Garys blog at least once and maybe twice. So it’s hard. Thankyou for coming to look at my blog. I see you have followed me. Thankyou. I took a look at yours and saw how you have travelled India. Wonderful!

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      6. That’s understandable, I hope you have a nice WordPress community around you now though.
        Yes, I had an amazing time and I am writing it all up now!

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      11. Thanks Gary. Like you, I deleted it in the end. Some people can be so deceptive though, until you find their true colours. It can be a shock! Anyway, glad you just deleted it. Best way. Xx

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      13. Lol Gary. I wasn’t bitter but list my cinfudence. I got hit below the belt! But it is a while ago now, so am back on course now. For better or worse 😀

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  15. I hear it too, the criticism on blogging, how the frienships aren’t real, blah blah blah. Ignore them. We are your community and you are ours, and they can suck it. ❤

    I’m in Ticino, Switzerland. As I update the blog chronologically I’ll post some pictures of the ancient village we’re staying in for a few days. I know you’ll be interested, if it doesn’t hurt too much to look and read. 🙂

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      3. Yes that sounds right. We took the train from Zurich HB to Bellinzona. The next station would have been Milan in Italy. So our town is close to the Italian border. 🙂

        I’ve skiied in Saas Fee and Saas Allmagell. Also in Engelberg.

        I’m eating a lot of cheese… 😀

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  16. My Dear, consider us, your followers, as your Blogging family. We love you, we care about you and your son, how you are doing and what you have to say about it. We hold you both in our HEARTS in Love, wishing you well. Be of good cheer and know we are here for you, whenever you need to talk, whatever the time of day, or night. We care and we love you. 💞

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  17. Those Musk Thistles are incredible plants! Thanks for the pics! (Does your camera have a flash? The lighter background (dark clouds! 🙂 ) tend to make the object look duller, you need a fill light to show it up better. If not it’s ok – i get it.) Are the red ones behind poppies??

    Hmmmm… that is a pretty long list you have there Sir!

    I’d like to see your other list – the one of the things that give you the strength to go on and that can even make you feel happy, about yourself or about life in general. Focussing too much on the negatives puts our brain into a poor mode for coping with the effort of battle.

    All of us need the positive vibes to get our brains working more effectively and efficiently. We learn better when we are happy or having fun, we function better when our brains are not stressed out dealing with dark issues. We need to seek out some things we can call upon that make us feel joy, or Love.

    As for those who seem to find enjoyment in trying to drag another human being down so as to make themselves feel somehow superior to someone – put their address in your ‘block’ list or assign as ‘spam’ if it appears as a blog comment.

    “Ain’t nobody got no time fo’ dat sh!#”

    Fights are definitely better shared than trying to take them on single handed – rest assured you have at least 50 others here in your corner and will fight with you, however they are best able.

    I’m off to write some bad poetry. 😉

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    1. Yes but the iPhone has taken complete control of that. It is rather protective of when it uses it. Funny I have that but was revisiting if the football team should be banned from the list. I read them to see if they have anything valid or interesting to say. Then they get deleted.

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      3. They’re ganging up on you! Dogs are able to smell your weaknesses!

        I would have thought it was the cat who does the dirty work though?? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  20. You have stated your situation very clearly, and I can not see why anyone would accuse you of attention seeking. Clearly people who make such accusations have major problems themselves. If they do not like what you write in your blog they can just unfollow you and not read your blog any more. You can delete offensive comments if you wish. I believe you can also block offensive followers google “block unwanted followers” if you find it difficult to work out the “Help” menu. Just be yourself. So many people who follow your blog do support you. Don’t put up with the few who are so negative towards you.

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  22. I am surprised about the mean emails. Maybe post the email and let your many nice readers and followers respond and protect you rather than having to do all the shaking off yourself? Or delete and forget whichever works for you.

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  23. Oh my gosh, I feel this right now. I have been having such a hard time trusting the peers around me lately and have just isolated myself from others. Unfortunately the sullen mood followed over to my blog and I have had a hard time even answering comments on my own blog – even though all comments were safe – As the blogging community always has been to me. I just didn’t want to interact. I am sorry someone is giving you sh**. You don’t deserve that and I am happy you opened up about it. We are here for you – to laugh at your fun moments and support you in the hard ones xx

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    1. All I can say is I get the majority of my parenting advice from you. I would be stuffed without you. Really hope things improve for you soon. Look after yourself and thank you. I was trying to remember your super hero name. Was it Shaky Girl. Trying to remember mine. It’s an age thing… xx

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      1. Yep! I think that is right (although my mind is going as well) Let’s just say I am Shaky Girl and you are Jelly Man – although, if in a month I am Quaky Girl and you are Gobby Man – let’s just go with it 😉

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  24. Pingback: It’s a fight – A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. – International Badass Activists

  26. I agree with you and the rest of the comments. Any type of outlet with positive interaction is good. You are dealing with life as it’s handed to you, bravo! That’s all we can do and sharing parts here is very cathartic. For me, I know it is. Keep on truckin’😉👍🏻

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  27. Love the photo by the way! When we moved to Colorado there was a lovely garden with huge big purple ball flowers. They were onions! Are the ones in the picture thistles? I think that is Scotland’s flower?? Beautiful.

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  32. Yeah, I’ve had my own share of fallout for putting my raw feelings online. But do I regret it? No. Because it’s got to get out somehow. If we can’t connect in our immediate environment, we will look elsewhere for it. And thankfully blogging helps us find others who share our feelings and together, we can move forward.
    That’s all we want to do, you critics: move forward.
    Let us move forward.

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