It’s that time for Chelsea Owens Terrible Poetry Contest.

This week’s specifics:

  1. Topic: Animals and their pregnancy.
    Did you know the African Bush Elephant carries …well, an elephant for 22 months? That a male seahorse carries the babies (up to 1,500!)? Or that female Komodo Dragons can impregnate themselves without a male through a process called parthenogenesis?
    Did you know you’re going to write a poem about it?
  2. Just to make it more fun, I’d like the Length to be about Hallmark Valentine’s Day card-sized. Bonus points if you actually write it like a Hallmark Valentine’s Day card.
  3. Rhyme? It’s up to you.
  4. Mostly, just make it terrible. Whilst composing your note of affection, a pregnant elephant all the way across the ocean needs to raise its head from the water hole toilet and vow to spend its next 21 months making its way to your house…
  5. do know where babies come from; but if National Geographic can keep things clinical, I think our usual PG rating will suffice.

Additional a very wise person has asked if I would include the following word.


Well thanks for that pal at least I gave you the much more usable bedposts to play with.


When the Giraffe gives birth the baby falls to the ground

But luckily the calves are not hurt they seem to rebound

Lucky female seahorses as the males are the ones who give birth

I wonder how that effects the dads and their much prized girth

A chipmunk can give birth every forty five days

That’s enough to make Alvin stop singing and go into a daze

Opossums are quick they only gestate for fourteen days

Pressure on the males as it’s an even quicker menstrual phase

Humans are so much slower yet no less Herculean

That all makes the our pregnancy rather antediluvian

63 thoughts on “Terrible Poetry Contest

    1. I’m just like you, Scottie! Never could understand any but the simplest poetry. My college Lit101 teacher … I drove the poor man nuts, for I never understood what the poet was trying to say. I am a pragmatist … don’t talk in circles, just say what you mean! Hugs!

      Liked by 3 people

  1. You do terrible so very well!!! I remember one time that my brother-in-law, a marine-biologist and Coast Guard captain, called us in the middle of the night and demanded that we come over to his house RIGHT THEN! His male seahorse was giving birth! Admittedly, it was a sight to see. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, but not true…. i have secretly been keeping my poetic genius talents from my blog!!

        I spent a day or two trying to figure this one out though. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, same goes for Fargo. My folks lived in North Dakota for five years, and NO one I met out there actually spoke like that. Doesn’t make the movie’s take on the accent any less hilarious. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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