I’m still trying to get my head round the fact that me wearing a In The Night Garden T-shirt is not a sign of me absolutely reeking of awesomeness. Apparently it just makes me sad.

Clearly I have missed the last 20 years of cultural development and I am fossilised, moldy and a dinosaur. As you can tell this post is about how dated I have become. The most obvious sign is how our son is talking a different language to me.

When I was young (about 3500 years ago) if you liked something you shouted ace. Apparently not anymore. I should in fact be shouting yeet. I ramped up my uncoolness as for a couple of days I misheard him and started shouting yeast.

A few months back son started referring to the worlds best footballer, Messi, as GOAT. I naturally thought that was to do with his beard or worryingly maybe something to do with satanism. Thankfully I finally discovered it was Greatest Of All Time.

Then I was shopping with our son and I kept hearing kids talking about buying new Rides. Trying to be with it I asked our son why so many kids wanted a new bike. The look I got. Apparently they wanted new sneakers.

Or maybe it was the time son was getting ready for school and I asked if he was sure that he didn’t need his sports kit.

Hundo P

I assumed he was referring to some new Manga character. Again I didn’t have a clue. Apparently it means 100% sure.

Today in my customary daily humiliation which is playing our son at FIFA 19 I was called a Newb. Harsh but my team had just been beaten 14-1. I am also a newb at Fortnite, Minecraft, WWE2K, Xenoverse 2 and Rainbow Six. Why is it that the only games I ever got good at have disappeared without a trace. I was the John Cena of the Donkey Kong world. The Yoda like playing beast in the BBC computer space game Elite. And don’t even mention my brilliance in Galaxian. But today that counts for nothing. Time moves on.

As I was putting the finishing touches to this rubbish a new blog notice popped up from Autism in Our Nest. Spookily Robyn had just blogged on a similar theme. Again she deals with this with far more insight than my sledgehammer approach will ever do. However it is reassuring that I’m not the only one out of step with modern culture.

44 thoughts on “Not a clue

  1. Oh my gosh, yes! I honestly didn’t know about Goat until just now. Bobby’s friends were saying it all the time, and I thought, “Huh, so the goat is cool now. That’s odd and I guess funny.” (?) Greatest Of All Time makes way more sense! Hearing their new language is so funny (and so hard to keep up with!) 🙂 Thanks for the shout out! It’s so funny our minds were in the same place today!

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  2. I am in prehistoric times. I have no clue to most of slangs going around. Apparently my 9 year old grandson and his friends think that being “ Savage” is cool. That’s just one example.

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  3. Yeet and Hundo P are new to me, but i was hip to GOAT and Newb. ( ‘Hip’ clearly demonstrating that i am either definitely not, or am so old that Hip has finally returned as a modern expression of something incomprehensible to anyone but the Younger generation!)

    You are the proud parent of a pre-teenager, and as thus it is part of the job description to be the butt of his derision at your ancient and pitifully inept attempts to understand what is actually happening in the ‘real’ world. 🙂

    You can relax – it just means you are doing exactly what is expected of you by society!

    ( With the exception of wearing that yellow monstrosity… what ARE you thinking??? PLEASE don’t tell me you have ones with the Teletubbies on them as well – for the Love of God! Have you NO shame???)

    Fancy a game of Space Invaders??

    Like

  4. I don’t even try to keep up with the kids’ terminology — I’m sure they run rings around my understanding but are far too polite (or devious) to point this out to me.

    As for arcade games, I used to be frighteningly good at Gauntlet.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. As I was reading your post, I was thinking that I should cut and paste my comment to Robyn. There is so little hip lingo thrown about in my house (yes, I know that using the word ‘hip’ makes me over many, many hills) that it almost never comes up as an issue. When a new word pops out from my kids, my wife and I adopt it and over use it until the kids stop. Our little game.

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  6. Oh, pish on keeping up! Bo and I make a point of not being in step with modern stuff (except for knowing crap like Five Nights at Freddie’s, a horror game with lots of merch targeted at children). We’ve all got to look up the terms, esp this trend millenials have on turning acronyms into words like GOAT (which I had to look up after seeing a tweet about Clint Eastwood the GOAT. ???? Oooooh…) So yeah, we’re all behind, and that’s okay. 🙂 xxxxx

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