It’s that time again. Time for some terrible poetry in the form of Chelsea Owens weekly competition.

This week the rules are

  1. The Topic is a limerick about poets who take themselves way too seriously.
  2. One limerick’s Length is five lines long; an anapaest meter. Double it up for ten, if you wish.
  3. Limericks rhyme …or, at least, they get really really close.
  4. The most important rule of thumb is to make it terrible! You need anarchist beatniks in coffee shops the world over to raise themselves from a backlit Apple, scowl over something besides the injustice of everything, and slowly sip their organic latte in pure distaste for what you have done.
  5. As usual, keep the rating PGish or kinder.

If you feel the creative juices flowing then pop over to Chelsea’s site. Just remember Terrible is the new cool or as we say in the UK now – Boris Johnson is the new lunatic in charge of the asylum.


There once was a Boris who wanted to be a Poet

He thought he was better than us that’s why he only drunk Moët

He thought it was ok to lie, cheat and bluff it all the way to the top

He even had his hairstyled like his best friend Donald’s flop

Unbelievably one day he became a poet wouldn’t you ***** know it

As this is PG of course ***** means just. In no way does it mean effing.


I completely forgot about the separate challenge I have with Bob where we have to include a specific word. This week was supposed to be jalapeño. So here is version 2. It’s not PG and is definitely not very good…..

There once was bluffer Boris who so wanted to be a Poet

By birth he was superior that’s why he only drunk Moet

Poet Laureate he became happily chancing his people everyday at the casino

Laughing with his Eton buddies as he made his servant suck on a Jalapeño

Not bad for a scheming chancer who really doesn’t know much s**t

34 thoughts on “Terrible Poetry

  1. You’re really getting the hang of this!

    That was truly awful – i dip’s me lid! 🙂

    I’m pretty sure Moet is pronounced Mo-ay though???

    But i’ll forgive you for rhyming Jalapeno so nicely. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The word is ‘proper’ in Yorkshire i believe, as in “We pronounce it Proper up ‘ere!”

        Are you positive your a Yorkshireman??? I mean with the Rhubarb thing an’ all?? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Truly terrible poetry🤣 Difficult to stay PG with that subject matter.
    I’m truly sorry you all have a bleached out version of the Orange Idiot!
    Ben has been watching “V for Vendetta” and making the circled V symbol in dust and chalk. I think he might be about to start a revolution. He even has a Guy Fawkes mask 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A Londoner poet named Keats
    Was famed for his versified feats
    You can go and wave
    When you visit his grave
    In a cemetery stuffed with elites.

    Lord Byron was once quite the lad
    Known both to be wicked and mad
    At the world he did scoff
    When he took himself off
    Died in Greece as hero? Or cad?

    Liked by 2 people

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