Let’s try and lift the spirits from the last domestic post. Lonely does not want to meet the current news.

How often do you wake up. Make a cup of coffee. Then think I wonder what’s on the news. Then two minutes later you think – why did I bother. We live in a time of thoroughly dispiriting news. You also get the impression that the news has been carefully selected and filtered for you. If that wasn’t bad enough then often the news is the news. FAKE NEWS.

Well today we tried something different. No checking of the mainstream news. But what could we do instead. Let’s source our own news. That way we can live in whatever land or time or event or world we want to. Son got the first go.

Wrestling News.

  • Apparently a family has won the world thumb wrestling championship.
  • A good wrestler might go heel.
  • A bad guy wrestler might shave of his beard and go good.
  • Lots of wrestlers are going on a wrestling cruise.
  • Will the Demon fight another Demon at Summerslam.
  • A wrestler has a bad injury. But wait it’s a story line so they will be better for the next big Pay Per View event. It’s a miracle.
  • Another wrestler has a new hairstyle.

I can live with this. Absolutely no feeling of despair. Life is so much easier when it’s all a storyline.

Then we tried another type of News. Pokemon.

  • Pesky Team Rocket have apparently taken over lots of Poke Stops.
  • Apparently you can catch a shiny Koffing.
  • Lots of details about a Pokemon Go Community Day.
  • It’s your last chance to get an Armoured MewTwo. You have been warned.
  • Soon there is going to be a Sleep Snorlax Event.

Give me one good reason why this news world is not the one you should wake up to everyday.

Then I tried one. News on Captain Scarlet. Unbelievably nothing on the worlds greatest hero. What is the world coming to. So son tried another. Marvel

  • Endgame is the highest ever grossing movie beating Avatar. Is it me or was Avatar the most overrated pile of CGI pants.
  • Apparently Valkyrie’s real superpower is going to be revealed.
  • Black Widow is going to sort out Taskmaster. I thought she was dead…
  • Thor is coming back but this time Thor is a female. Cool.
  • The worlds funniest and greatest ever villain Loki is getting his own TV show. My toes are curling up with excitement already.

It’s a world of super intergalactic villains and with our planet repeatedly being almost vapourised by aliens. Yet every time larger than life heroes come to our rescue. Unbelievably that world sounds safer and less crazy than our own world.

One last news visit, let’s go Gerbil News. Expecting nothing but got a brief glimpse into a parallel universe.

  • Hungry gerbil rescued by Army Police in Derby.
  • Woman caught hiding 24 Gerbils up her skirt on a flight from China.
  • Gerbils replace rats as the main cause of the Black Death.
  • Richard Gere and the Gerbil. Don’t look this up but please tell me it’s not true.
  • Barnsley stages Olympics for Gerbils. 7 years ago but why wasn’t this subject to wall to wall TV coverage.
  • After the Mastermind Gerbil scandal we look at other game show fiascos.

So today we have completely avoided the fake news and feel so relaxed. I’m sure when we look again the world will be still messed up. It will still be burning. The rich getting richer and the poor still getting dumped on. Men with strange hairstyles and large egos will still be trying to take us back to the feudal times. But if we look just a little harder then the mist clears and the real world reveals itself. Tell me it’s not a better place.

69 thoughts on “News but not as you know i

  1. What a fun idea! I love it. What in the Hello Kitty was the woman doing with all those smuggled gerbils?
    And Jiminey Cricket! I can’t believe that Richard Gere story is still around. We were talking about that back in high school…ya know, the dinosaur age aka the 80s.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What about a dog sniffing contest? No, not us sniffing the dog, but dogs sniffing whatever. Cownpats might play a prominent part though. But it might be good fun, as long as there are plenty of pegs to go on noses

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Many years ago my mother was involved in an incident which was totally over egged by the press thereafter she never read a newspaper or watched the news claiming it was totally untrustworthy. My dealings with the press during a major project demonstrated my mother was right. I should never have doubted her. Mothers really do know best.
    PS I love the Gerbil News and think this should be a regular feature!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I think I often win due to my great stealth and use of surprise attack when he isn’t expecting me! He calls that cheating. I ask you – how did anyone win a battle? His thumb is three times as big as mine!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I think most of the kerfuffle around Avatar was that so much money was thrown at it to try and make 3D movies as good as movies with decent plots and good acting.

    Now we know better. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I can’t believe i missed the Gerbil Olympics??? Wasn’t there some kind of event being held in London in 2012?? I think that drew all the oxygen from the Gerbil news.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lol, I was just reading a post about how there was fake news in 1918 like there’s some book about all the fake news. So this is like the follow up. And YEP, it is stress free to avoid it all xxxx

    Like

  6. I love your news so much more than the news that is out, that’s for sure! And I totally had to look up the Richard Gere one – oh my goodness, that’s too funny! Let’s hope it’s not true ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Believe it or not, yours is one of the very few blogs I look forwards to every day. You never know if you’re going to laugh or fume or cry.
    With the news these days, it’s almost always tuned to fume-frequency. It’s no wonder that so many prefer to live in an alternate reality.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I have a few.
        One’s Prince Edward Island, Canada, circa late 1800s because I loved the life there portrayed in the Anne of Green Gables series of books. I reread my whole set of those books each year and get strength for my every days from them.
        Next is the Apennines of Italy, the little villages nestled in valleys where lands are wide and people few.
        San Sebastian, Garabandal, Spain – for religious reasons.
        And now – thanks to you – Switzerland๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I saw some duckling news: 100 ducklings had been rescued from the roadside and police were baffled as to how they got there. Local residents were offering to rehome them.
    I kid you not (yahoo headline yesterday)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Avatar was garbage. I watched Infinity Wars over the weekend so I’m almost up to date on the Marvel Universe. I’ve been on a binge so I can catch up with my son who has decided to go all in on Marvel. Of course I skipped ahead to Spiderman Far From Home so I’ve experienced a bit of a spoiler.

    Liked by 1 person

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