A couple of miles from our village a large TV event has been taking place. Something like 20000 people have been attending. But we haven’t seen a soul. The dog walk felt like we had the land to ourselves. Isolation.

This summer is probably going to be my most isolated ever (so far). Outside our gang I would be amazed if I have spoken more than 30 words to the outside world. Probably had more conversations with the plants (weeds) in our garden. It really is starting to show. Even something as simple as buying a couple of entry tickets leaves me a gibbering wreck.

Not had a single conversation with anyone in the village in months, Suspect the village are celebrating that. Even the postman has gone into stealth mode. Absolutely no sign of the neighbours.

A few years back I remember a clinician telling us that we should probably get used to the idea of becoming isolated. Get used to your own company. She had seen a lot of parents in our position get cut off from friends and the outside world. That seemed fine as I had my soul partner with me. Didn’t realise how applicable own company would become.

This afternoon I checked if our phone was still working. It’s not rung once during the entire school holidays. In fact my mobile has only had two brief work calls. As the months go on my isolation from the world gathers pace. I’m not sure if that scares me or delights me. It’s got to the stage that I’m not sure if anyone would notice if I replaced the phone with a large bust of Boris Johnson. Probably not.

I would hope that the Boris bust would become a favourite cock a leg spot for the dog. Suppose I would need to move it outside. Wonder if Boris would tell the migrating birds to bugger off back to their own country. Sorry should really give Boris his full name

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

Ironically Boris wasn’t born in this country. Given his position on immigration maybe he should send himself back to America. Anyway I bet his phone rings more times than mine. A man who currently wants the UK to be isolated Internationally probably doesn’t understand what isolation really means.

Maybe I should offer my services. I could be the Governments expert on isolation. I did think about being the Government expert on talking gibberish but they have already got that position well and truly covered.

86 thoughts on “The phone”

  1. I’ll never understand the xenophobic hatred of immigrants. Unless a person is 100% Native American, their family came here from somewhere else.
    Maybe isolation isn’t such a bad thing. Practice for the zombie apocalypse. As for speaking gibberish, isn’t that what comes out of most politician’s mouths? Oh wait, that’s lies. My mistake.
    You may not speak to other people but you’re in communication with your WP gang, so you’re not completely isolated.
    💌

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    1. Actually, the WP gang aren’t as real as you would like to believe. I have only been on WP for two and a half years now, but I can tell I am missing normal conversations with regular people. I become tied up in my own mental processes, and my thoughts and words on WP are all along a certain vein. One does not talk about the weather on WP.
      My lady and I are pretty much alone with ourselves and our cats in the little town of High Level, AB. Especially me. There are no men around who have similar philosophies of life. I am Metis, but I was brought up white. White men in the area are mainly beer-swilling skirt-chasing rednecks. We do not talk the same language. Metis or full-blood aboriginal people also have their own priorities, which I do not share. I am a nowhere man. One with an everywhere mind. It is very lonely.

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      2. But, generally speaking, it is mostly by our own choices. I have a distaste for many humans, and have had for decades. I do not see the world in the same way they do. My politics, if you can call believing in responsible anarchy politics, my spiritual atheism, the way I look at life, none of these are close to common views. I don’t taint my philosophies with either belief, or facts, but base them on experience–MY experience. In about 70 years-to-be very soon, I have not failed in depending on experience. I have more internet friends than I do real friends, but even those I piss off at times with the way I think. Some, like Jill, persevere, but others just stop reading my comments. In real life, those who disagree just get up and leave. Their privilege.
        Sorry I am ranting on your sweet blog, but I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. It all wants to pour out, but I have to stop here, lol.
        Have a nice day…

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      4. My girlfriend found a song on Facebook today, Opinion Rhapsody, to the tune of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. If Jill doesn’t play it soon it is worth searching out.

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  2. I just tuned in to your story, so am not sure about the details. Why do you live so far out? Do you have a job where you see others? This is where social media comes in handy, but you still need to be in the world a little bit. Isolation sounds lovely, but one can go overboard. Hang in there.

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      1. I just read your Hadrian’s Wall post. You go to such cool places. It sounds like you and your son get out a lot and have fun together. Many parents wish for more time to spend with their kids, so you’re lucky that way.

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  3. I can understand your pain and need to isolate.Infact reading your story ironically I am even a little glad that our marriage isn’t that good.Atlest I wont miss my husband so much.
    Ur wife was a very lucky woman to be loved during her lifetime and even after that.
    She wouldn’t want to see u this sad and lost dear.i know it may sound stupid but plz try to take baby steps towards recovery.u have to be happy even from inside to being up your son well.U r a fabulous father.God bless and ur son.

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    1. If I may: my spirit, not a soul, and I get along very well. But we know each other, and most always agree with one another. On WP you can take your time chatting with others, think about what you want to say before you say it. Talking face-to-face brings challenges. You have to think faster, talk more often. It requires a whole different mindset. One I think is necessary to life. It is too easy getting all wound up in yourself. It is nice, but too easy to become focused on just oneself, IMO.

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  5. I hear you Gary. And I understand. That is all I will say and I think you will know what I mean. Isolation is horrible, though I guess there can be advantages to it sometimes, if I luved near you I sure would go out of my way to have a converastion with you, and with your son too, if he felt comfortabke enough with me. I do understand Hugs to you xxxx

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  6. Consider yourselves lucky! 😉 Most of the time our phone rings it is some jerk from a call centre trying to engage me in their latest scam trying to get hold of my personal details or my cash – or BOTH!! 😦

    Less often it is one of 12 different charities thanking me for my kind support in the past and asking for my $40 donation for the quarter.

    Less frequently than that it will be one of my doctor/specialists/dentist reminding me of my next appointment and maybe once every 3 months a relative on the other side of the world may ring to say hi and see if we are still alive.

    Go with the Boris Bust (outside) i say! 🙂

    Boris is American you say?? Gee, they raised Trump And Boris – how unlucky can one country get??

    As for the isolation, the stats would suggest (insist) that you are by no means alone in feeling alone and isolated, nor are you in any way alone having a child who is on the Autism spectrum. It is likely that there are other parents feeling like you within a 10 mile radius of your home! Maybe you could try putting out some feelers to see who feels like meeting someone who understands where they are at and that goes for your brilliant boy as well. 🙂

    See if anyone else would like a day out somewhere uncrowded?
    As for the government – save your energy for where it would do more good. Government is NOT interested in ‘minorities’ – unless it needs them to get re-elected. I don’t see much chance of that happening for this current one.

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  8. I’m hurting for you. Like Lorraine, I wish I were your neighbour. Got a voice like a foghorn so I’d likely shout out to you over your front gate every other day so at least you know someone cares.
    But that foghorn thing wouldn’t score points with your son.

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  9. Maybe you can’t wait for people to care; the world’s not like that anymore. There was a stage when I sort of withdrew from the community here due to health concerns and some other struggles. Although I’ve been an active long time member, no one cared much about my withdrawal, they didn’t think it was odd; they just shrugged and carried on.

    And I learned that that is life now. It wasn’t that way before but it is now and that I could either accept it and be bitter about it OR I could accept them yet make a life for myself. I cannot change these people. But I could change the way I functioned in this society.

    So, I returned to the community in small ways. Hellos and idle chatter. Helping whenever I could. Sharing helpful info. Cracking jokes and making people laugh. Trying to give comfort to the suffering.

    But I no longer expect anything in return, not even simple kindness. I make myself a part of this place in order to give myself more than just a physical address – I’m adding meaning to my own existence.

    In a strange way, that brings a measure of peace.

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  10. Reach out to health centre supports already in place, look for contact numbers. If there are no support groups in your area, go about setting up one, so many people will thank you for it, lone parents, lone dads, parents of children with autism, rural dads.

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  11. There are times I feel completely isolated as well and it makes me feel sad and depressed. Then there are times I am forced out into the social world and there is nothing I want more than to retreat back to being away from others. It’s so hard to find that balance. And for you, I believe you said you are kind of remote house wise, physically away from others. I hope you can find that balance that works best for you. In a couple of weeks school will start again – for me that always leads to bits of social niceties. Short and sweet.

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      1. Well, it’s a tough one. I DO have someone that likes to run. She just likes to run at 5AM and I really don’t. I am used to running alone. She was the first person I started running with regularly and the conversation was nice. But I don’t run outside in the summer too often because of the heat and I am leaning towards skipping the 5AM runs and hitting the trails solo this year. We’ll see. I laughed at your shopping trip. You captured a lot of funny moments 🙂

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  12. I relate to this, Gary though we are less isolated from at least seeing neighbours from time to time and lately I seem to be striking up conversations with people on our jaunts around the lake. It’s all well and good to say you have your WordPress friends and that is helpful but its not quite the same as being able to share a cup of tea and consolation with a dear friend. I don’t know if its just that the world is moving faster and faster now but I rarely get calls either, so I do relate.

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  13. I get it. However in truth, I think that a bit of balance is probably needed. Just a teensy bit if you can bear it, otherwise you’ll possibly go a little potty and that wouldn’t be good for either of you. For me, social interaction is part of my recovery from mental health issues. I have to speak to someone, anyone. I know I talk ***t to them, but people are kind and let me witter on. It helps. Katie x

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  14. It scares me a bit G – I would love you to be with more real peeps, not that we are not real. But we can only give you cyber hugs. I would love for you to be getting real ones.
    I couldn’t function without people to talk to, I would go loop the loop.

    I am thinking of e-mailing you my phone number…I don’t know, but step because I haven’t given my number to any other strangers online. But if it meant you hearing a voice and having a chatter once in a while it would be worth it.

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  15. Hello Gary. Boris was born in the US? That figures? Please don’t send him here as we have enough clown horns here as it is. Best wishes and hope things get better for you and for your son. Hugs

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      1. Hello Gary. If we can send the entire tRump clan your way we would accept Boris. I think we could contain him better than tRump spawn of hell. 😁🤣😂👍👍Hugs

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  16. Unfortunately I can relate as being isolated increases. I’m hoping to remedy that as I applied once again for a bus pass. Please don’t send Boris over here…then we’d have two idiots running the country. I don’t understand wanting to be immigrant free. Of course here in the US we are all immigrants except for the few remaking Indian tribes. Sad how they’ve been and still are isolated. It’s beyond comprehension.

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  18. Sad and I understand isolation completely, it can make or break you and often both, it sounds as if it is a gentle giant for you maybe. I love isolation sometimes as an introvert and small groups are fine , big groups in out.

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      1. I can truly relate to that. I went to the county fair recently w my boyfriend and his nephews and had a massive migraine and had to remove myself to the side and breathe and find a cozy spot inside myself.,I wanted OUT, it was a very challenging experience..i turned down every invite to go again and that experience is in the past now and I have confirmed that’s a NO GO..big crowds, nope.

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  19. I knew that kind of isolation in graduate school. Apart from classes, I’d speak to no one, see no one outside of school. And even at school, I was the outsider no one really talked to. On the one hand, I stopped worrying about being judged, but on the other hand…yeah, an actual smile would have been nice now and then.

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      2. Excluding son the last proper verbal conversation I had was June probably. I will probably have the conversational skills of one of the Marx brothers when the next one comes… But you are so true. There are small talk conversations and then there are CONVERSATIONS.

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