Happily having a morning constitutional when the bathroom door exploded open.

Sorry Dad you have company. Need a photograph of the Shiny Eevee.

Another thing not in the glossy adverts about parenting. But the same applies to Dog owning. Our bungalow has a design issue.

For some reason the architect who designed the building thought it would be funny to put the toilet basically in full sight of the front door. The bathroom door takes on the same importance as the Wall in a Game of Thrones. It is the only defence against chaos. It doesn’t help that for some reason the bathroom door has decided to expand just enough that it doesn’t fully shut.

So when you are happily sat on the throne it’s not perfect timing for the postman to arrive at the very same time as the dog barges open the bathroom door. The postman’s horror would make a great Stephen King novel. At least a short novel. It could be the short version of IT.

S*IT. Which is probably the words the postman issued. Definitely the words I said.

It’s also the perfect description of my current mood. I won’t bore you with the long story yet again. But over the last 3 years the period from July 23 to early September is when we lost my mum, my partners mum and my partner. It should be a great time. The period exactly covers the long school break. Before the world changed it rivalled Christmas for the best part of the year. Now it’s an ordeal. But holiday periods are often like that. Even after 3 years it’s still an ordeal. Maybe it will get better over time. Maybe it never will.

Grief is such a difficult feeling to describe. I’m still trying to capture it on this blog. I’m still not that close I suspect but I will keep plugging away. Have a look at the blog Party of One, or Life after Death. Malia writes about losing her husband so beautifully. Look at The Grief Reality. Another beautifully written blog about coping with the loss of a beloved mum at a far too early age in life. These show what can be achieved.

In those three years since the world changed I often fall back on silliness to release the pressure. I strongly suspect that it’s really a ploy to just to stop the grieving process for a few moments. Maybe if I laugh the problems will just go away. Sadly they don’t.

Son often copes by trying to fill his head with information. Today it’s been Egyptian Football, Agrippina and Pokemon Go. Thankfully the distraction seems to be working for him.

Tonight we will both forget about life by watching Red Dwarf. So very funny. Hopefully we will have more luck than the previous night. We watched an episode which featured unusually for the show a sad segment where the shipmates talked about not having a mum. The Kryten line everyone should have a mum really did hit home. You are so right Kryten. It’s not easy at my age but at son’s age….

So hopefully after a lot of laughs tonight we go again tomorrow. Let’s see how many Pokemon I can traumatise in the bathroom. No wonder it went shiny.

95 thoughts on “Eevee

  1. Apart from the bathroom issues, this is a great post.

    I think deep grief is near impossible to describe. Unfortunately, you only really understand when you are experiencing the damned shittiest thing ever.

    Thinking of you x

    Liked by 7 people

  2. “Maybe it will get better over time. Maybe it never will.” I suspect that it never hurts less, you just learn to incorporate that pain into your life. HUGS!💌

    Being silly is my favorite way to make myself laugh. Laughter really is helpful and healthful too.

    My bathroom is situated like yours. I think my house was originally a studio since the living room, kitchen and bathroom are all in one space, then a hall leads down to the bedrooms. But if my bathroom door didnt close, and more importantly, lock, I’d attempt some kind of repair immediately. It’s the only place I can be physically alone. The dog and the child are usually just on the other side of the door, but they ARE on the other side.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I think laughter just provides some much needed relief, it doesn’t take anything away. It is so hard to articulate grief but those who read your posts and have some understanding will sense it. I know how hard those critical months can be. I have had accidents on certain anniversaries and its always there below the surface. I believe our body just knows when tje seasons come the griefs associated. For example a major termination I had to have was in autumn and that is when my sister died so when I see the autumn colour and feel the change in the air all of those deep soul memories are activated. I think its so problematic that society conditions us to believe there is a time grief goes away and should be resolved or not affect us any more. I just don’t know if that is true, we just learn ways to live with it. Sending love.

    Liked by 7 people

      1. I know people expect everything to be black and white often, a part of you dies in a way when the person dies and there can be great resistance to life or even pulling of your energy into the Underworld. At least that’s how I have experienced it. We are the ones who know ourselves best.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Your post made me laugh out loud. And then sobered me up right quick. I find the magic of grief dazzling- the moment of hysterical laughter followed so closely by the devastation of loss. I think being reminded of the fragility of life makes us feel more acutely what it is to be alive.
    You certainly seem to make the best of it in your writing. And every day. So impressive. I take a page from your grief book.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. My apartment has the same horrid feature. Since I live alone I rarely close the door all the way, but now that my grandson is back home and has a key, I have to keep the door shut behind me! 😂

    Liked by 4 people

  6. I’m curious as to whom
    let the Eevee into the bathroom
    in the first place??? 🤔

    Seems to me Pokemon has some explaining to do?

    The world certainly is in desperate need of a good laugh at the moment, laughter has many positive benefits to our physical health and mental well-being.

    I do my best to provide a little more laughter with the Daily Funny, but the benefits are less certain? 😉

    Red Dwarf with Lister, Kryten and the Cat will surely raise the spirit and mood a little – they certainly do mine whenever the repeats come around. 🙂

    Sadly there are far too many issues pressuring us 24/7/365 and which do the opposite.

    Your triple whammy (not to mention those of the 4 legged kind!) shoved you down near the bottom of the ‘pile’ in that regard, but there are a few compensations still available to you, never forget them.

    Each one of us has to deal with our grief in our own unique way, just as our reasons are unique to us. But that does not mean we have to try to deal with it alone – others can be of help. For some people it is actually what they train for and is their job to help people handle it.

    Dealing with it, and with your son’s grief, on your own is not the best idea, i believe.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Thank you so much for linking us. The past 6 months of writing this blog has given us so much hope and made us feel as though we are part of such a supportive and loving community. And knowing that what we write can give even the smallest support to others means more than I know how to convey with words.

    Sending strength during this period ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    1. The pain will never go away.And maybe it shouldn’t.Its like a homage,respect we pay to the ones we have lost,respect to the relationship and the good times we have shared with them.
      But yes,the pain will lessen with time.When I lost my mom,I thought I won’t be able to survive as she was my biggest support system.I would call her for the smallest problem and I knew if things got bad I would just put my head on her lap and all problems will vanish.
      But then bringing up 3 kids I got so busy that though she is always there on my mind there are days when I forcefully sit down to spend a few moments remembering her.
      And yes dear you are absolutely right.No one should ever have to live without a Mom.I can imagine how hard it must be for your son but I am sure your love and support must mean the world to him.God bless you both.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. I know it’s not the same thing, by any means of the imagination. But I remember breaking up with my first love, and there was mutual friend of ours. She was kind to me, but there’s only certain people who can really make me laugh. She got REALLY angry with me when I wrote about how good it felt to have a huge laugh. When I say REALLY, she wrote me a 4 page email to tell me what a horrible person I was because she was trying to help me. It took me “losing” her as a friend to make me feel comfortable talking about having a good laugh.
    There’s nothing wrong with a good laugh. Just make sure you surround yourself with people who know the benefits of it!

    Liked by 4 people

      1. Yeahhhh…. I saw them put the lights on by 11:30 am!!

        By ‘Almost tropical’ i take that to mean Monsoon-like?

        There was a fair bit of heat in the bowling however. I suppose that comes from being a Barbadian? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Spinach? The stuff that gives Popeye his strength? I don’t think so. A batch of bad rhubarb perhaps??

        Not sure what they were on before but after…. definitely anti-depressants!

        That was truly awful – i was barely able to contain my disappointment!

        It was probably Karma for the English ‘supporters’ who booed Smithy as he came back after being felled on field and again as he left after top-scoring with 92. And as they continue to do for Mr Warner after making 60 while facing Mr Archer

        Even Geoff Boycott reckons it’s not on.

        “Eet’s just not Crikeet!”

        “Yorksheer, yer better ‘n that!”

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I am so happy to be connected to you through the ups and downs. How do you really explain the hollowness of grief? I don’t know. Your losses were tremendous. And the pain needs to ease. I would choose laughter to release some of the pressure as well.
    And Your toilet situation really made me laugh. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  10. But over the last 3 years the period from July 23 to early September is when we lost my mum, my partners mum and my partner. <—Same time period I lost Nick. Then on Oct 20, 2016, the same day in 2014 we found out Nick had cancer, my dear Auntie passed away. And it's been a roller coaster ever since including my brother and some friends, Uncle put in hospice and given 2 weeks (thank God his kidneys decided to start working again,………) It never ends. However, I do not let it define my life. I have fun because to not have fun? is to not enjoy life…………and I have 13 g'kids to enjoy……

    Liked by 3 people

  11. This is beautifully written and so relatable. I still grieve the loss of my mother—even though she is still alive—but I am dead to her.
    Wishing you hope…and a smile.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. I wasn’t meant to be a natural Mum which was one of the reasons I fostered. I was lucky to have the parents I did and although I couldn’t visit Mum very often, I wrote once or twice a week. I lost her to dementia years ago, and now she is no longer here, I find it so hard sometimes to believe she’s gone. For you and your son to have a triple loss in such a short time frame is so tragic. My thoughts are with you both.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I sometimes wonder if my sister ever appreciated how lucky she was to see my Mum every day, even though I appreciate things were difficult. Mum didn’t want to live with us. I so wish she did.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh my, you are great at adding humor to a surprising moment..im sure tge mailman now has a great blog as well..
    I’m sorry for the grief, I know it well losing my son two years ago..i saw this post from my grief group the other day and it was a map of chaos..basically no straight lines and stopping points at every emotion ,though, forgetfulness, to everything else we know well in grief and the end point off the page said..,the new normal. It helped to know thays normal…

    Liked by 3 people

  14. I have something to say, but forgive me, I am so tired this might not come out right.

    I love that you can still laugh at times, and that is ok. You have a huge weight on your heart that will always be there, but if you were not able to laugh and play a bit I think you would go insane!

    I am only guessing that because the door doesn’t shut properly, it won’t lock? My bathroom door has expanded and it’s really hard to get the lock to fasten. Doesn’t matter when I’m on my own, but I have to remind guests. But it is nowhere near my front door. Also my postman has no idea where my front door is. My post gets delivered to a friend’s house and I go and collect it once a week!

    Anyway….I am very sleepy….have you spoken to anyone since that post? I want to think of you having spoken conversations. So long as you not a serial killer you then I am sure I am not the only one who would be good for a natter. Sigh. Thank you for the comments you left by the way… 🙂 I am going t get this heavy head of mine on a pillow now ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Hmmm. That is indeed a design flaw. Our basement bathroom has a similar issue–the basement window is exact opposite the bathroom. You better close that door, or the neighbors will get an eye full!

    Not that doors stay closed in our house–the kids just barge in on each other, AND me. (for some reason Bo’s not invaded. What’s his magic/!?!?!)

    Hope you’re feeling a curve upwards inside. Sending a hug your way xxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Really hope your on the same curve. xxxxxxx it doesn’t help when you have s big boy cat who has worked out how to open door handles. You think your safe when suddenly the door flies open and the cat and dog pile in – usually seconds before the jehovah witnesses arrive at the door.

      Liked by 1 person

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