Dad can we go somewhere tomorrow.

Where do you fancy?

How about the New Forest.

Sorry too far for day trip it’s a 6 hours to just get there.

How about Skye.

I so would love to son but it’s a full days drive.

How about Stonehenge.

Sorry that’s a 5 hour trip.

Ok let’s go for the Lake District.

It’s going to be busy.

How busy.


Ok let’s go when it’s bad weather. Much quieter then. Let’s go to the coast. I know that will be busy but let’s avoid the beaches. Let’s try the bird reserve. Sadly it will be quiet as people for some reason prefer sitting on a bit of sand to than watching nature.

So it looks like a 1 hour drive to the coast then. We will set off early morning just in case of unexpected crowds. That’s the price you pay for trying to find quiet locations during the summer school break. Must admit I’m a little gutted that it’s not a trip to the Lake District. Not been in ages. Thoughts of mountains and lakes.

Then a bit of a grief wobble. We are now within 2 weeks of the dreaded anniversary so I am a bit all over the place. We both loved the Lakes. Maybe it’s because it feels a bit like Switzerland. Not massively but just enough. The grief wobble was about how few times we made it across there. Definitely twice maybe three times. That’s not enough times in the 18 years we spent together. We never found the time. What a waste.

But then just a picking minute. Let’s turn this thing around. The important thing is not the limited number of times we made it there. The really important thing is that WE DID GO THERE. The great times. The beautiful memories. The picnic with stunning mountain views. The stunning mountain walk. Waking up to the smell of freshly baked bread in the little hotel. Laughing hysterically as we got lost in a forest. The bottle of wine next to the Lake. The romantic meals…..

That’s the important stuff. Yes the anniversary marks the end of our journey but it was some journey. It really was.

So tomorrow it’s birds. Another memory. Arriving at the reserve and realising I might have been a bit of a numpty. My job was to bring the binoculars. Unfortunately I remembered our sons toy ones but the proper ones were really helpfully still sat on the kitchen table. Ops. My partner needed the patience of a saint. The most organised person in the world meets chaos.

What’s the odds on the same thing happening again. Suspect son will be less forgiving.

49 thoughts on “The important stuff

  1. Good rewriting of the sadness narrative. It is too easy to look at grief, or anything negative. While important to recognize the sad events, it is much more important to remember the good times. We live for joy, not pain.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You know what, the important thing is never the reproach for the times you didn’t do something it is the memory of the times you did, cos after all you know you cannot manage or organize life to death basically. The best memories are always the ones that were unscripted. So you should make some more now with your boy at this looming time and plan something, something that will give you another memory when there’s things you can’t have back.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I hope you enjoyed the bird watching?

    And yes, glass half full – you went there three times. Iโ€™ve only been there twice with my daughter in 13 years. There is just too much to do in Yorkshire ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 4 people

  4. It’s good to see that in spite of the tiredness, the stress of grief, the impending anniversary, the struggle to get by as single parent and while doing more than is humanly possible to bring him up in this dystopia we are all living in, you were able to turn that grief wobble a full 180! I’m proud of you and your achievements (which are NOT inconsiderable you know?).

    Hope the trip worked out great for you both and wonderful memories were gathered. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Just to help keep it ‘real’…. some of us have NEVER been, or even had the chance to go, to Switzerland! The closest i ever get is eating Lindt and sipping a hot chocolate on a cool Winter in Aus.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hey, we all forget things, and at least you remembered some sort of binoculars! I ran a fall festival for Blondie’s school yesterday which included a potluck. I made chili, apple crisp, and brownies. Out of two carloads of stuff I hauled over there for games, crafts, and the food, what did I forget? the ********** can opener which meant I couldn’t MAKE the chili or apple crisp until Bo could get one for me.

    But just because we forget a little something doesn’t mean we can’t have a big special day. xxxxxxxxxxxxx Prayin’ you’re well. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for sharing your story. I lost two children in April of 2012. I understand the grief that can drop you to your knees, all while trying to be strong, continue to parent. It is a very rocky road. Prayers and strength to you and your son.

    Liked by 1 person

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