To Bee or not to Bee

Time for a bit off Terrible Poetry in the form of Chelsea Owens weekly competition. This weeks it’s a bit of a walk on the Bard side of life.

Here are the specifics for this week:

  1. I’ve thought short and shallowly about the Topic, and it shall be Shakespearean laments. If you don’t know what a Shakespearean lament is, Google is your friend. And William Shakespeare.
  2. If you wishe to truley showe offe, go ahead and maketh the Lengthe a traditional iambic pentameter couplet. If ye wisheth not, at least keep the duration to that of a reasonable amount so as not to send the masses into a Midsummer night’s dream.
  3. Since The Bard most often Rhymed or near-rhymed, ye muste as well.
  4. Above all else, ye knaves, make it terrible! Off-the-cuff Shakespearean performers must give you a standing ovation, followed by throwing the foulest fruit they’ve purchased from the nearest funnel cake food truck.
  5. Keep things PG or lower. If ye must insult or deprave, use Elizabethan curses.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (August 30) to submit a poem.

The Sonnet 73 butcheringSorry Bill but I did keep a few of your words the same.

That time of year thou decides to do some baking and behold
Knowing the results will be that bad my shame do hang
Upon
finding I forgot to turn the oven on and thy food is still cold,
Bare ruined
I shall burn all food until the cry PLEASE LORD NO MORE is sang.
In me thou see’st
the worst kitchen abominations performed anywhere in the land that day
As after sunset fadeth
the Fire Engine arrives to put out the oven fires from the west;
Which by and by black
end food is thrown away,
Death’s
icy grip can be seen in the stodgy bread as it refuses to rise as long as it do rest.
In
my donuts the taste of vileness and repulsiveness does such fire,
That on the ashes
of the badly overcooked Rhubard crumble do lie,
As the death-bed
do lyeth anyone who tastes the food with the use by date do expire,
Consum’d
is the food not by any sane man but dumped in the bin by any brave passersby.
This thou
has bakethed food with a nauseating odour so strong,
To love
the simple beauty of a frozen microwave meal I do long.

30 thoughts on “Terrible Poetry – about to be sued by Shakespeare

      1. Right?! I read about the shutdown. Took a page from his hero’s book.
        I’m in California and there’s been talk since Orange Idjit was elected about becoming a separate nation. Of course, that’s how our Civil War started…OY! What a mess!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I don’t know… I think ‘Bare ruined I shall burn all food until the cry PLEASE LORD NO MORE is sang.’ hatha certain charm. Just thinking of some of the more roistering, rollicking characters from the good bard. And please may Yorkshire BEEcome an independent country.

    Liked by 2 people

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