It’s Terrible Poetry time thanks to Chelsea Owen. This week we need to remember the following school rules

  1. Topic, topic; who’s got a topic? Ooh! I do; I do!
    It’s Back to School!
    Thank you, Timmy. Now, next time let’s remember to raise our hands.
  2. No teacher actually reads those 500-word essays, so keep the Length above 4 words and below 200. For those in the advanced math group, that’s 4<p<200, where p is poem and 4 is 4 and 200 is 200.
  3. Teacher, should we Rhyme? If you wish, this occasion.
  4. Just Make it terrible! The superintendent of all the area schools must feel compelled to visit and deliver a lecture on “Why One Never Poems Without Reason,” followed by a light refreshment of watered-down punch.
  5. Naturally, this assignment must be rated appropriate for general audiences.


Is it really back to school

In that uniform so uncool


Do I have to Combe my hair

I’m not allowed to rock in my chair


Come again, I have to get up at Half past Six

Then get on the school bus with the other lunatics


Have to eat a healthy school lunch

And in the class I’m not allowed to munch


I have to learn my nine times tables

And I need to write my name on all the coat labels


I’m not allowed to pick my nose

While having to write boring prose


Not allowed to play games of my mobile phone

And if the teacher shouts I’m not allowed to moan


Must not run and play along the school corridors

And no pulling funny faces at the other choristers


When I ask a question I must raise my hand

Even when in Latin it’s impossible to understand


I have to fully button up my school shirt

Always keep the blazer on to hide all the dirt


Not supposed to throw objects at the head-boy

Be nice to your classmates and certainly don’t annoy


On no grounds can I fight or swear

Don’t attack the other kids with the set square


Need to pick my feet up so no scrapping only the floorboards

And certainly I’m not supposed to do rude doodles on the blackboards



24 thoughts on “Terrible Poetry

  1. Can it be terrible if i really, really enjoyed reading it?

    Ahhhhh… the SUBJECTS (or do i mean contexts?) are truly terrible – that will have to do. 🙂

    I’m not going to enter into a Protractored argument over this as to whose is best, errr worst?

    Liked by 2 people

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