Dad what on Earth is that.

I’m trying to make home made Hummus.

Are you sure it should be that colour.

No that was not what I was expecting.

Dad it looks like something from the X-Files.

I’d moved from trying it with some carrots to which bin it should go in. It might even need a Priest and an Exorcism before it’s safe to do that. Wonderful. Yet another culinary masterpiece.

Dad let’s take the pup to the woods. If we go now should have the place to ourselves.

So leaving the alien hummus to mutate into something with teeth we set off. The signs of autumn are now all around us. Less than 900 miles away the first winter snow has come to Italy. So that’s another summer ticked off. It also means the 30 year old boiler is being fired up for the first time in months. That process is always done on a wing and a prayer. Apparently when it goes to boiler heaven it’s going to cost a fortune. Not just the boiler but the pipes, a good part of the central heating and the oil tank will need to be changed. We couldn’t afford that when we had two incomes never mind when it’s become one (on less hours and at a much lower pay rate). I remember being told by one mum that I should just hire childcare or put son in a club so I could work full time again. Not the first idea about single parenting and Autism but to be fair her hummus will be considerably better than mine.

This might have been a good place to go on about some of the practicalities of when you go from two to one parents but not when it is so close to THE ANNIVERSARY. Anyway the old boiler has fired up. Which is a bonus. THEN….

Dad did I tell you school has changed the PE Polo Shirt from white to black. You can use the old ones for a couple of weeks then if you don’t have the new colour you will get negatives.

With the great news of yet another visit to the school uniform shop still fresh I decided to try the demon hummus. The taste sensation was somewhere between wallpaper paste and a skunks bottom. But on the bright side I might have found a home made recipe for wood putty. That might come in useful this winter.

83 thoughts on “Demon Hummus”

  1. That annoys me so much about schools.. why do they have the need to change any part of the uniform this soon into a school year?

    Hummus is always an amazing thing to make tho I have never had much joy with it… tahini is lovely spread on toast on its own I have discovered! Xx

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    1. Hello, Suzi,
      I don’t think I have noticed your last name before, and this is nothing about this post. TENCH is a major character in my favourite science fiction novel by my favourite science fiction author: A Maze of Death by Philip K. Dick. Just wondering if you have read it?

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  2. Hummus = the white pod things, the garlic (lots), lemon juice, and whip the be-wolloping out of it until it looks like a dip.
    Isn’t that hummus? It is when that’s how my kids told me how to do it! And if they want colour – that’s beetroot.

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      3. A friend of mine was educated in a “home school cooperative” where different parents taught different subjects according to their skills. It would be good if there was one near you- you could teach reading and ‘riting (not sure how good your ‘rithmatic is though!). If you could find someone for the ‘rithmatic if need be, that’d be the three Rs sorted! 😀

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      5. I’ve not looked into it deeply for my baby daughter, but to get together with other home edders looks to require a bit of a commute for us here :/

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  8. Can you dye the old shirt? I know here they sell bottles of dye at the grocery store or supermarket. Might be cheaper and “a project”…which could be fun or disastrous.

    Hummus is too gritty for my tastes. At least you tried. You cant succeed if you dont try, fail, and try again.

    You’re writing about lighting the boiler and I’m still running the AC. Summer has decided to stay around…with a vengeance. It’s been 35C or hotter for weeks. I’d love some cool weather!

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  9. That’s shitty about the new shirt! Damn schools! Never made hummus but it sounds interesting if nothing else. Hope your boiler keeps gling. Ours is making strange nouses too!!!

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      4. Lol. But if I call you Kevin I might call Kevin Gary and Bevin might take offence whereas you didn’t. Mind you I have been called Pants before now so that’s on 😂

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  10. Love the shot of the common snowberry!! 🙂 The fruit is poisonous though so I wouldn’t go picking any!

    Yet another triumph for the culinary version of The Yorkshire Ripper! 😉

    Is there no foodstuff you can’t kill? Gotta admire your ‘Never say die’ attitude though.

    Have you considered seeking cooking tips from your son? I would think he may have more suitable skills? 🙂

    I know it’s wrong of me considering the underlying nature of the post, but i couldn’t help but chuckle a few times in the reading. Smiles are the thing that will get us through the tough times (but a lottery win would be really good too!) 😉

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  13. What was in the demon hoummous? Apart from fire and brimstone, that is? 😈

    And how annoying about the shirts. Surely – SURELY – give parents until the end of the school year, unless the kid outgrows the old one during the year in which case they can replace with the new colour?

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  14. Y’know, if we could just get your posts to the right movie director / script writer, you’d be able to afford a spanking new boiler, a great school for your son, private classes, Swiss weekend trips and so much more.

    Please don’t ever lose that beautiful sense of humour. Not for yourself, nor for us.

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  15. Well done for trying, I cook all the time but have only ever brought hummus, cheaper and easier unless you eat an industrial amount! Wood putty is probably far more useful 😁

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      1. I can cook but can’t make a packet mix right to save my life. Sometimes it is the seemly simple things that are the most tricky.

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  18. Hummus

    Cook the chick peas (and keep some of the water) or use canned ones.

    My husband hasn’t got exact quantities…
    But Jamie Oliver has a good recipe…
    My husband chucks everything in a blender…
    Chick peas with water
    Garlic cloves
    Lemon juice
    Tahini paste(or just grind up lightly lightly toasted sesame seeds if you don’t have Tahini)
    Peper and salt to taste.

    On their own, chick peas (also known as garbanzo beans) are a bit tasteless.

    Oh, the shirt thing is ridiculous. What petty little mind (in the school administration) thought that idea up, I wonder… 🙄

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