Everyday more red bursts through to bring life to Yorkshire In Autumn. No creative license required here. Last night son asked to watched the Mel Gibson movie Braveheart. He quietly watched the movie in one sitting. When it had finished he had one of those looks. The Paddington Hard Stare.

“Where do I start. I gave up making a note of the historical inaccuracies when I got past 30. I think they were averaging one a minute. I hope people don’t think it happened like that. As a piece of pure make believe it was ok. As an accurate record of real history I’d rather trust the new Dumbo movie”

I have to say the new Dumbo is great. But it’s one of the THOSE movies which would have been much easier to watch if it had come out before our world changed. Movies with the death of a mum are still very raw. For both of us.

Dumbo also touched on the idea that sometimes we are not prepared for what may face us a parent and as a human. Don’t want to give any real spoilers away so I can’t say too much about the movie.

I wasn’t prepared in the slightest way for being a single parent. For being a widow. For having that awful conversation with your son. For picking up the pieces of a life which had been based purely on three of us. But to be fair as a couple we were not prepared for the loss of one of us. Our lifestyle was based on two parents. Financially it only worked with two of us. After we became a family our careers only continued to work because we could share the load. We only continued to have a bit of a social life because the other partner was there.

So when you suddenly take one partner away …. it all comes tumbling down. Three years later we are still trying to rebuild our life’s. Watching another autumn and another set of red leaves makes you appreciate life goes on – even after a death.

50 thoughts on “Dumbo meets Braveheart”

  1. I haven’t seen the new Dumbo, probably won’t either, because my grandkids ate getting older.

    I’m pretty picky on movies since they’re so expensive. But Braveheart was good and I didn’t expect it to be historical. So much of a (hero) life is just boring it has to be ramped up to get an audience. Your son is amazing.

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  4. I don’t think anyone is ever really prepared. All anyone can do is take each day as it comes, and you seem to be doing that as well as anyone could expect. I can’t really imagine how hard it is – I was a single parent through divorce – but I certainly take my hat off to you.

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  5. Those leaf shots are pretty fantastic – from your own garden, i assume? 🙂

    Saw Paddington 2 a couple of weeks ago and can imagine your boy’s stare fairly well. 😉

    It must get confusing when a ‘historical’ drama is not actually containing ‘real’ history.

    But what else can you expect from Hollywood? They play to a certain audience.

    As bad as some of the negatives can be in life, we need to be able to balance them out with awareness of all the good there is; make some room for more of it to filter into your view and the negatives won’t seem quite so suffocating. 🙂

    (Hugs) 🙂

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  6. I am having sheer torture with WP comments .. so if this is twice that is why cos it tells me I have account despite showing me it, it won’t post the comment then tells me I have. But what I was trying to say.. and do excuse if this is a duplicate. So much in this post. I think it’s very true that we are never prepared for anything in life. Even if we try to be, when the reality hits, we can’t really know what a situation is like until we are in it. That’s when I always say cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself. I hope that makes some sense of the finding your way and every one being different because everyone’s reaction to the unexpected is very different because everyone is different. Ah… Braveheart. I am smiling cos right now I am involved in small festival rerun of my Mr’s play which cos there is a Dundee connection to Wallace..a story…and the story involves a weaving woman, we re-enact. Very much tongue in cheek. in fact pure slapstick Utterly ridiculous. And I do the Wallace character who at one point t urns to the audience, when the film gets mentioned and goes, ‘ It wis keech. No factual, like us,’ (Indeed the no factual line was one I added at rehearsals yesterday. We add lines all the time in this play. And the best bit is the cast are very good at minding it in terms of cues. We have even added Brexit this time round ) before after much poncing and gentle smacks with a cardboard placard, saying Wallace, battering the Shelby character to death with the cardboard placard. (Could have done with a new placard this rerun but hey.) Anyway, I think the problem with bringing any history to the screen is how you present it in a way that holds an audience. Do you stick to every fact? Or can you weave a tale and bring the essence of that tale to a wider audience? I think Braveheart is very much in that category.

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    1. It’s actually quite a good film but the scary thing is that it will be the only Wallace knowledge that some have. I love Horrible Histories because they do manage to parcel up truths in a way that you come out laughing but also a bit wiser. I bet your play would be a great watch. Funny I had gone climbing near Nevis and was in a Fort William pub by myself. They had a band on who sand a few songs about killing the English, plus some very very anti Rangers tunes. To my shame I did put on a Mel Gibson accent when ordering beers. Purely for my own safety.

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      1. I think with Wallace that when it comes to facts…talking scary is the only real knowledge re Wallace is less than than the scene on this play in some ways. AND I am deeply ashamed that you felt the fecking need to speak like Mel when ordering beers. Jeezo, thon way Mel spoke wis semi Irish no Scots for a start. But yep in an anti Rangers’ place you would feel safer. Something that needs dealt with here. Let’s not pretend
        Come tae Glenoe in future no they tourist pleb places like the Fort . And believe me, anyone talks like that re the English, I will set the dudes on them, xxx

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      2. I remember the Clachaig Inn being so friendly. I love the music they have on. The last one I saw was three teenagers doing Gaelic music but with violins and sounding very much like early Runrig. So happy I once got to see Runrig.

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      3. They often have very good bands there. All types too. Had some great evenings in there. I’ve seen a later Runrig at Scone palace. There was a festival there. Wasn’t the original line up. Then a few years ago I saw Donnie Munro at a local Celtic Connections fest here in Dundee. He was very good but there was hardly anyone there. The Clachaig is very friendly, espesh when there’s a band on but even like on a winter afternoon, if you come off hills there’s always folks gathered in the Boots and it’s very cosmopolitan in terms of where people are from. I love it there.

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      5. The Clachaig is a great place to stay BUT the campsite is handy enough too. Not quite sure you er…ended up on the Pap…. Sure the campsite ain’t up there. But maybe they moved it that night. Seriously that is a great story and I bet you would be quite sober by the time you reached the top. (Surprised you never landed at the bottom in the dark.)

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      6. Someone had the great idea to watch the sun come up – on top of a mountain – with a bottle of whiskey. That was a crazy day. We came down by 8. Had breakfast then apparently we had agreed in the pub to join another group in going up the buachaille. So off we went again. Never been so knackered on a walk back down a mountain.

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  7. I am right there with you. The change of seasons gets me every time even more so than holidays, and I can’t quite tell why I am so deeply touched or perhaps wounded is a better description. Each change of season is insult to injury. The cooler temperatures, the shorter days, the brilliant reds and yellows of the leaves all make me wistful and downcast the way some songs do. I look around and there’s just so much evidence, too much, of the hard reality that Paul is STILL not here. Ugh.

    Don’t tell your son, but historically accurate or not, Braveheart was one of our favorites 😉 Sometimes you just have to put intellect aside, suspend reality, and go with it. I know. It’s hard for me, too. I am a much bigger fan of non-fiction, documentaries, or period dramas. All my best to you both as always.

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    1. It is an enjoyable action movie. I won’t tell my son that we both like it…

      I know what you mean. Last couple of days I’ve been particularly downbeat. So much beauty about but it’s just reminding me of what has been lost. I know it won’t count for much at all but sending you hugs from Yorkshire.

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  9. There are many times when what you do is so much more than what 2 loving and capable parents with non-special needs children do. This is not exactly a parenting blog but each day I learn something here which I take back to my own life and responsibilities.

    In a word, you’re Awesome.

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  10. I feel the rawness of your words. Grieving as of late breaks my heart over and over. At times there is peace and celebration of the life of a loved one lost. Then there are those times of clarity that hit you like a brick wall that show you the reality of your loss. This cycle slowly eases and stretches out in length. Time. Time keeps moving on and soon , slowly but eventually it hurts less. You are right where you should be given the circumstances. You and your child are healing as you navigate the new path set before you. Please take comfort in that.

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  12. I haven’t seen the new Dumbo movie but heard of it. That stuck in my mind the part of the mom passing. I wondered if it would be too much . Like is beautiful but can be unfair at times . My heart goes out to you and your son. I’m happy you have beautiful reminders of your wife and life still being beautiful.

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