It’s time for Terrible Poetry in the wonderful hands of Chelsea Owens. This week the parameters are….
Howdy, partners! Welcome to this here terrible poetry contest. We at the ranch have been rounding up bad poetry fer 48 weeks now.
Ready to rodeo? You’ll wanna read a run-down here. Then, saddle up and get yer lasso ready fer fun!
Here some ‘spifics for this round:
- The Topic‘s The Old West. Or, do The New West. Heck, do Midwest if that’s how you ride. Think of a song to sing on a campfire-smoke night, a shout to yell at those darn coyotes, or a rhyme to a cowboy from his sweetheart back home.
- Length is up to you, but many a cowpoke will doze off mid-ride if the trail gets too long.
- Rhymin’s up to you, partner.
- Most importan’ly, Make ‘er terrible. I don’t wanna see yer sorry hide back here till it is.
- Many a rough-rider can have a rough tongue, but sometimes lady folk read this blog. Keep yer comments to a civilized PG-13.
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (October 25) to submit a poem.
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Out in the dust field prairies of Dewsbury and Pontefract
The Yorkie badlands with rhubarb laden scrub tracks
Where scary predators stalk lonely unsuspecting riders
Those ferrets are deadly once in your trouser insiders
Old Cowboys on the trail for one last ride
Trying to avoid those wannabe Bonnie and Clyde’s
Clinging to a dying way of life like a stubborn Rooster Cogburn
Taking those pills for the constant bake bean farts and heartburn
Singing stories of the wonders of this cowboy lifestyles
While fighting the urge to scratch those lingering piles
Carrying the sweetheart photo of the long lost cowgirl
Forgetting she left you for an Accountant who could afford a pearl
All the ranches and rodeos have long since closed
Now 24 hour Big Macs are juxtaposed
Getting back in the saddle you do it for glory and the life which is true
But really the only excitement left is a solitary campfire game of Buckaroo
Out in the dust field prairies of Dewsbury and Pontefract
The Yorkie badlands with rhubarb laden scrub tracks
Where scary predators stalk lonely unsuspecting riders
Those ferrets are deadly once in your trouser insiders
Old Cowboys on the trail for one last ride
Trying to avoid those wannabe Bonnie and Clyde’s
Clinging to a dying way of life like a stubborn Rooster Cogburn
Taking those pills for the constant bake bean farts and heartburn
Singing stories of the wonders of this cowboy lifestyles
While fighting the urge to scratch those lingering piles
Carrying the sweetheart photo of the long lost cowgirl
Forgetting she left you for an Accountant who could afford a pearl
All the ranches and rodeos have long since closed
Now 24 hour Big Macs are juxtaposed
Getting back in the saddle you do it for glory and the life which is true
But really the only excitement left is a campfire game of Buckaroo
Terribly awful! I remember the game Buckaroo. The kids loved it………….. the adults didn’t.
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so do i!
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🙏
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That game used to scare me.
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Dang – i nearly forgot…. My word, by the way, was Juxtaposed! – Nicely done there. 😉
Oh, and the first time was terrible: the second time it was horrorific.
Off to finish mine… if i get it right i’ll be right chuffed!
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It better be real bad
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It’s bad enough!
I managed to include your word of the week! 🙂
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Yours for next week is a challenge. Try to get a Rugby TMO reference in.
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Your ON!
Just one teeny question…
What’s a TMO??? 😕
Your word for the TPC is blancmange.
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Video Ref. Television Match Official.
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Ohhh, one of THOSE!!! 😉
Grazie!
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Been introduced into our football. Bloody disaster.
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Your football matches are a bloody disaster? or the TMO??
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Both. In football they stop the game and some referee 100 miles away spends 3 minutes looking at a video. While the crowd are not told anything. So nothing happens. It’s bizarre.
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I see Hope on the Horizon!
Why would we still have human referees when a machine could do the job better and faster?
AI is progressing so fast i think sometime in the 20’s there might not only be instantaneous 99.99% accurate machine umpiring (a little like Hawkeye in tennis) But that there might no longer even be real players in the big league matches – machines are getting to the stage they have greater athletic abilities that any human being.
It might take a little longer to develop processors that can handle the speed necessary to get them to have perfect ball control, but it will happen faster than most think.
Check out ‘Boston Dynamics – Atlas’ in You-Tube and see what you think?
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Funny you should say that. I watched a game our son was simulating on Fifa19. It was as good as a real game.
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The graphics and i assume virtual reality are becoming nearly indistinguishable from the ‘real’ thing. Video games are becoming as popular spectator sports as live sport, particularly in soccer mad Korea.
But soon human-looking androids will be playing against each other in teams and would be able to beat any human team – in ANY sport!
We could already make a world champion beating AI dart player!!
I’d give it 10-15 years max.
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Its strange as it was your team you still get invested in them. Even though they are just figments of a computers mind.
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Some (unkind) people might use that description for Newcastle United! 😉
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I can think of better description for that bunch of ………
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Now now!!! – If you don’t support them, who will?? 😉
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That’s the question. Not many. For the first time ever it’s starting to fall away. All due to one man.
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Sorry to hear that! 😦
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Absolutely terrible! Lol!
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Thank you
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I tried some limericks last week for the first time. Harder than it looked, but also more enjoyable. It was fun playing with the words.
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It is hard but as you say it’s fun and it’s free.
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https://rhymezone.com/ helped! https://strokesurvivor.me.uk/2019/10/25/rainy-days-and-fridays/
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Oh I like that. That’s going to help.
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I dunno, I think over some cider that game could be fun.
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Needs the cider though.
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Most games do.
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Especially twister.
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Oh yes…
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🙏
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Hmmm… no pingback?
I wonder if the delay is due to imminent moderation?
Anyway, in case there is a gremlin or WordPress goblin at work, mine is here:
https://lovewillbringustogether.wordpress.com/2019/10/25/terrible-poetry-the-wild-west/
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Brilliant
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So brilliant in fact that i left that comment on your blog and not Chelsea’s – Call me Einstein!
But i thank you for the compliment on my ‘art’??
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Ok Albert.
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I prefer Al.
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That works
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Quite brilliant – even to the rhyme. The repetition was truly terrible.
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🙏
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OOPS!!!
Wrong blog! 🙄
As you were, Soldier.
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🙏
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Hysterically awful. I loved it. The ferrets in your trouser insiders. Haha. Awesome
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Thank you
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Awful poetry 🙂 Still fun to read!
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Thank you
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You’re too good at writing the awfulness! 🤠
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Maybe I should get a job writing IKEA instructions
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😂👏👏🤣
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🙏
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Horrible! Bonnie & Clyde in the old West!
Read it out loud & wow, it’s even worse! Great job! 🤣
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Thank you
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Very cute word play on that poetry dear 😀.
❤️✌️
BY FOR NOW
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Thank you
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Your welcome dear 😀.
❤️✌️
BY FOR NOW
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🙏
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Thank you
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Something about it ‘worked.’ 😀 Congratulations on winning!
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Thank you x
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Cun-grach-u-lashuns is in order, Cowboy! Ya dun real good. 🙂
May your ferrets never nibble your nether regions!! 👀 🦡 (<==Badger. They dun't got no durned ferret emoji dag-nabbit!)
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Those ferrets aren’t coming near my trouser legs…..
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Got your cycle clips handy??
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Need more than that.
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Determined are they – the Yorkshire ferret?
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Big teeth….
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Thanks ‘Tim’ (think MPatHG)
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haha! i had to reread this a few times to understand. this is hilarious.
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Thank you so much
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hello how are you
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Ok thank you
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Well done Gary! Well deserved and wonderfully terrible!! 🙂
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🙏
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nice post
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Thank you
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your welcome
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🙏
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Good post talented
Please follow me back
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Thank you
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Thank you for being you and thank you for being so open. It gives me the strength to do the same.
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Awesome. I love it.
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Thank you so much.
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Ha! The old west can be a fun place to play–to live, not so much. 🙂 Though random PS: I put it to you that broccoli farts are WAY worse than baked bean farts, lol.
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Both are bad. Very bad. My mum had a Yorkshire Terrier whose favourite food was broccoli. Wow I can still smell the farts.
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LMAO! Well dog farts are always awful 🙂
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He was only a little fella but his presence could fill a sports hall.
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