It’s time for Terrible Poetry in the wonderful hands of Chelsea Owens. This week the parameters are….

Howdy, partners! Welcome to this here terrible poetry contest. We at the ranch have been rounding up bad poetry fer 48 weeks now.

Ready to rodeo? You’ll wanna read a run-down here. Then, saddle up and get yer lasso ready fer fun!

Here some ‘spifics for this round:

  1. The Topic‘s The Old West. Or, do The New West. Heck, do Midwest if that’s how you ride. Think of a song to sing on a campfire-smoke night, a shout to yell at those darn coyotes, or a rhyme to a cowboy from his sweetheart back home.
  2. Length is up to you, but many a cowpoke will doze off mid-ride if the trail gets too long.
  3. Rhymin’s up to you, partner.
  4. Most importan’ly, Make ‘er terrible. I don’t wanna see yer sorry hide back here till it is.
  5. Many a rough-rider can have a rough tongue, but sometimes lady folk read this blog. Keep yer comments to a civilized PG-13.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (October 25) to submit a poem.

*****************

Out in the dust field prairies of Dewsbury and Pontefract

The Yorkie badlands with rhubarb laden scrub tracks

Where scary predators stalk lonely unsuspecting riders

Those ferrets are deadly once in your trouser insiders

Old Cowboys on the trail for one last ride

Trying to avoid those wannabe Bonnie and Clyde’s

Clinging to a dying way of life like a stubborn Rooster Cogburn

Taking those pills for the constant bake bean farts and heartburn

Singing stories of the wonders of this cowboy lifestyles

While fighting the urge to scratch those lingering piles

Carrying the sweetheart photo of the long lost cowgirl

Forgetting she left you for an Accountant who could afford a pearl

All the ranches and rodeos have long since closed

Now 24 hour Big Macs are juxtaposed

Getting back in the saddle you do it for glory and the life which is true

But really the only excitement left is a solitary campfire game of Buckaroo

Out in the dust field prairies of Dewsbury and Pontefract

The Yorkie badlands with rhubarb laden scrub tracks

Where scary predators stalk lonely unsuspecting riders

Those ferrets are deadly once in your trouser insiders

Old Cowboys on the trail for one last ride

Trying to avoid those wannabe Bonnie and Clyde’s

Clinging to a dying way of life like a stubborn Rooster Cogburn

Taking those pills for the constant bake bean farts and heartburn

Singing stories of the wonders of this cowboy lifestyles

While fighting the urge to scratch those lingering piles

Carrying the sweetheart photo of the long lost cowgirl

Forgetting she left you for an Accountant who could afford a pearl

All the ranches and rodeos have long since closed

Now 24 hour Big Macs are juxtaposed

Getting back in the saddle you do it for glory and the life which is true

But really the only excitement left is a campfire game of Buckaroo

86 thoughts on “Terrible Poetry

  1. Dang – i nearly forgot…. My word, by the way, was Juxtaposed! – Nicely done there. 😉

    Oh, and the first time was terrible: the second time it was horrorific.

    Off to finish mine… if i get it right i’ll be right chuffed!

    Liked by 4 people

      1. I see Hope on the Horizon!

        Why would we still have human referees when a machine could do the job better and faster?

        AI is progressing so fast i think sometime in the 20’s there might not only be instantaneous 99.99% accurate machine umpiring (a little like Hawkeye in tennis) But that there might no longer even be real players in the big league matches – machines are getting to the stage they have greater athletic abilities that any human being.

        It might take a little longer to develop processors that can handle the speed necessary to get them to have perfect ball control, but it will happen faster than most think.

        Check out ‘Boston Dynamics – Atlas’ in You-Tube and see what you think?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The graphics and i assume virtual reality are becoming nearly indistinguishable from the ‘real’ thing. Video games are becoming as popular spectator sports as live sport, particularly in soccer mad Korea.

        But soon human-looking androids will be playing against each other in teams and would be able to beat any human team – in ANY sport!

        We could already make a world champion beating AI dart player!!

        I’d give it 10-15 years max.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Cun-grach-u-lashuns is in order, Cowboy! Ya dun real good. 🙂

    May your ferrets never nibble your nether regions!! 👀 🦡 (<==Badger. They dun't got no durned ferret emoji dag-nabbit!)

    Liked by 2 people

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