Is it time for Mad One to go to a hairdresser. I’m only jealous I would love to have that problem these days. It’s not so much Lush Amazonian Rain Forest it’s much more Barren Arctic Tundra.

Dad when was the last time you had to Combe your hair.

I do still Combe. Sometimes. Why?

I was watching a video of famous people who have had a Hair Transplant and I thought of you.

Are you saying I am Famous.

No Dad your certainly not famous. Must have been something else about that video which made me think of you.

I took the car back to the garage as it needed to be checked again. The poor technician took one look at my car and said ‘I better get a pair of gloves’. On his return he added ‘that’s the muddiest car I have seen in a long time’. I suppose that’s a badge of honour but I was filled with a certain amount of embarrassment. He’s right. You can’t actually tell what colour the car is these days. Oh the shame.

The shame day continued. I needed to go to the Bank but didn’t want to pay the extortionate parking fees. So I had a clever idea. I will put the bike in the back of the car so I can ride in. So the night before the 2 flat tyres were fixed. Unfortunately today has been wet. Very wet. The Yorkshire roads are muddy. Very muddy. So after my 15 minutes cycle ride I arrived in the city centre looking like the Swamp Monster. The looks I got. Oh the shame.

The shame day continued. I walked into the crowded Bank. Well when I say walked in that’s not strictly true. I did try to walk into the Bank but had failed to see the closed glass door. The looks from the hordes in the bank as they turned to see my face planted in the door. Suspect it was not a great look. Oh the shame.

The shame day continued. Now finally inside the bank I was stood in the long queue. I had to watch someone from the bank go to the infamous front door and clean the glass. Clearly the muddy impression of my face on the bank’s door was not good for business. Oh the shame.

The shame day continued. In the busy supermarket I tried to take a sharp corner at pace. Too much understeer and I crashed into a neatly stacked pile of soup tins. Complete devastation. Tins everywhere. Oh the shame. As I helped the not so impressed shop assistant pick up the tins he pointedly said ‘it took me ages to stack those’. Oh the shame. Eventually I moved away from the crash scene but I kept seeing random tins of soup scattered around the shop. Oh the shame.

The shame day continued. I had a couple of work reports to post. Going to be tight it’s a 5 minute walk to the post box and the last collection is in 3 minutes. So I jumped into the car and belted there. Letters posted just in time as the Postman arrived. Unfortunately I also posted my car keys. I had to sheepishly ask the postie if he could search the box for them. ‘That’s the first time I’ve had to do that. The crew back in the Sorting Office won’t believe me when I tell them this‘. Oh the shame.

The shame day continued. As I returned to the house I had a few minutes before the school bus was due. Let’s garden and prune in the pouring rain. Much good work completed. Then son arrived back. Shall we go in before he gets soaked. Hang on. Where are the house keys. After 10 minutes finger tip searching of the soil I remembered. I put them on top of the car tyre so I wouldn’t lose them while gardening. That look from our son. Oh the shame.

These days I’m with Spongebob and Patrick. Any day you manage to get your pants on the right way round is a good day. Everything else has gone wrong today but my pants are facing the right way ….. so it must be a good day. Oh the shame of getting back to front pants. That was yesterday.

109 thoughts on “The shame”

  1. Lol! Couldn’t you tell them you drove your car into the mud to rescue a baby deer like a hero? In other news, I had to order a replacement credit card because my drugstore put mine in the Rx bag and then I threw it in the trash. Doh!

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  12. Loving the humour in here, although I admit I feel a little guilty because of the shame attached to it 😉 I call these days ‘one of those clumsy days’… I have them too! They give my children a lot to laugh about 😛
    (And you’ve reminded me that I am now six months without going to a hairdresser, and I probably should do something about that 😛 )

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  19. “Mama told me there’s be days like this. There’ll be days like this, Mama said”. That tune was playing as I read your post. Crap happens to everyone, but you make it pure joy for your readers. Good on ya!

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  21. having pants on is a good thing – what does it matter which way?
    There are those moments, sometimes many moments, where stuff happens. it’s life. As long as the tear in the pants doesn’t happen in the main street, what does any of the rest of it matter?
    Muddy cars are working vehicles; muddy bike riders are saving the world; glass doors should have an eye-level sight-line; posties have seen worse than that – I once saw one of them lift out the unmentionable item with a stick to hand it back to the rather sheepish dropper; and losing keys? Who hasn’t done that?
    A good day is when you put pants on before you go outside, and whether they’re back to front or not makes no never-mind.
    thanks for the humourous start to my day.

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      2. Ha! Maybe. But that is not to say that I have so much in the bank that they would have not embarrassed me further by cleaning it while I was still in the bank. Although, the amount of mud might be a factor. I don’t think I would ever have cause to be covered in it so therefore, my crash would have just left a face print and not a muddy face print.

        I hope your nose is feeling better even if it is still red! 🙂

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      3. Oh, look at that! I love it. Probably totally standard for you, but not me – I have new (to me) word! NUMPTY. Oh, I am going to throw that around! I experience a lot of those! 🙂 Thanks! And I somewhat think that some stores/banks put flyers on the doors just for that reason! People run into them!

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  26. Sorry if the shame makes you feel bad, but your post was laugh-out-loud funny. I especially loved the image of you watching someone from the bank clean the glass you muddied. And then, the keys in the post box. Too much!

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  27. I don’t know whether to laugh because it wasn’t me … this time … or to cry because I’ve had those days so many times. As re the keys in the post box story. Once when my own children were little, we lived in a rural mountain community, where we had to drive our rubbish a couple of miles down the highway. One day, with car keys hooked over finger, I released the rubbish bag into the big tall bin, and the keys flew off my finger and into the bin. No worries … I put my 4-year-old son into the bin to retrieve the keys, but … yep, you guessed it … then I couldn’t reach in far enough to pull HIM out, so I had to flag down a trucker on the highway to help! Next time you wake up feeling like you did this morning, roll over, tell your son to fix a bowl of cereal and watch television — no school today — and then go back to sleep! Do not leave the house!

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