It’s time for some poetry . Some Terrible Poetry. This week the wonderful Chelsea Owens has set the following task.
Here are the specifics for this week:
- Since it’s coming up on my mind, at least, this week’sTopic is the commercialism of Christmas. Man, I hate it.
- Everyone’s having sales, sales, sales! Keep the Length to 20% off your usual poem. Hurry now; supplies are running out!
- Rhyme if you were smart and purchased the name brand version back in July. Otherwise, you’re stuck with the cheap, knock-off variety that might have been recorded in Chinese.
- Make it terrible! Make Hasbro put out a recall for all verse you may have ever produced in the last decade, plus offer psychological recompense for the ten years before that.
- Christmas is family time -ish. We’d like to make people assume so, anyway, as we advertise the spirit right out of them. Anyway, keep things G-Rated or friendlier.
An offer like this won’t last forever! You have till 8:00 a.m. MSTnext Friday (November 15) to submit a poem to Chelsea.
***********************
For inspiration I sat down and watched a Peppa Pig Christmas episode. No commercialism there.
I’ve been told off for making these always political. So this week no direct reference but I can’t rule out a subliminal message. Can you spot it.
*
Blimey the adverts have started already
Only just done Halloween I’m so unready
Reindeers standing where the tinned soup used to be
I only want some food for dinner not a giant inflatable Christmas tree
Santa hats seem to have replaced my usual supply of herbal tea
*
Jingle bells bellows out on loop from the supermarket speakers
Ornamental singing elves more important than things like carpet sweepers
Hilarious festive ties are everywhere all playing an out of tune carol
Nearly every aisle is full of wine and spirits and lager by the barrel
Suddenly the only cheese you can buy must contain apricots and cranberries
Over priced selection boxes become the only source of confectionaries
Nuts by the bucket full which is no good for delicate tummies like that of Gary’s
*
Is it too much to ask for one single deodorant not those annoying Old Spice Gift sets
Suddenly on every aisle corner you see stacks of Home Alone Video Cassettes
*
All the shop staff are forced to be decked out as Santa’s little helpers
*
Gone are the discounts as it’s full pricing in all its splendour
It’s a crime not to stock up for that big day in December
To much much for me as it’s still just pigging November
Thanks for the wry chuckles. 😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have but one thing to say:
Not buying for the big day,
I’ve put my wallet away
And keeping it there till May.
If I see one more stupid ad,
I’m going to get so mad
That I might lose it a tad
And that would be real bad.
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
LikeLiked by 3 people
That’s so cool. Next time you can be my ghost writer.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahaha loved it . Just talk politics and you won’t have to spend any money lol🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like that idea. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your welcome🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLike
Hahaha that’s wonderful
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so very welcome 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
What’s wrong with politics?? Very terrible. If I didn’t already hate Christmas this would do it!! 🤪
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh no I’ve become the Grinch.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nope… I’m the grinch! Ha
LikeLiked by 1 person
Two grinches then.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great last line. Anyone would think there was an advent election coming up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is there really. Missed that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great poetry! I agree – let’s enjoy November first!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Robyn
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally don’t see political reference. Can you spell it out for me?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Look at the first letter of each line and see what they spell out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my fucking God!!!! You, Sir, are a genius. I’m laughing so much I’m crying.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so pleased.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Top winner.
LikeLike
Amen to the last line! And, very terrible work, sir.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Sorry for sneaking in ‘Boris Johnson is a git’ into it.
LikeLiked by 1 person