It’s time for some poetry . Some Terrible Poetry. This week the wonderful Chelsea Owens has set the following task.
Here are the specifics for this week:
- Since it’s coming up on my mind, at least, this week’sTopic is the commercialism of Christmas. Man, I hate it.
- Everyone’s having sales, sales, sales! Keep the Length to 20% off your usual poem. Hurry now; supplies are running out!
- Rhyme if you were smart and purchased the name brand version back in July. Otherwise, you’re stuck with the cheap, knock-off variety that might have been recorded in Chinese.
- Make it terrible! Make Hasbro put out a recall for all verse you may have ever produced in the last decade, plus offer psychological recompense for the ten years before that.
- Christmas is family time -ish. We’d like to make people assume so, anyway, as we advertise the spirit right out of them. Anyway, keep things G-Rated or friendlier.
An offer like this won’t last forever! You have till 8:00 a.m. MSTnext Friday (November 15) to submit a poem to Chelsea.
For inspiration I sat down and watched a Peppa Pig Christmas episode. No commercialism there.
I’ve been told off for making these always political. So this week no direct reference but I can’t rule out a subliminal message. Can you spot it.
Blimey the adverts have started already
Only just done Halloween I’m so unready
Reindeers standing where the tinned soup used to be
I only want some food for dinner not a giant inflatable Christmas tree
Santa hats seem to have replaced my usual supply of herbal tea
Jingle bells bellows out on loop from the supermarket speakers
Ornamental singing elves more important than things like carpet sweepers
Hilarious festive ties are everywhere all playing an out of tune carol
Nearly every aisle is full of wine and spirits and lager by the barrel
Suddenly the only cheese you can buy must contain apricots and cranberries
Over priced selection boxes become the only source of confectionaries
Nuts by the bucket full which is no good for delicate tummies like that of Gary’s
Is it too much to ask for one single deodorant not those annoying Old Spice Gift sets
Suddenly on every aisle corner you see stacks of Home Alone Video Cassettes
All the shop staff are forced to be decked out as Santa’s little helpers
Gone are the discounts as it’s full pricing in all its splendour
It’s a crime not to stock up for that big day in December
To much much for me as it’s still just pigging November