The mad dog demonstrating the almost perfect combover. Maybe next time he will model the perfect beehive. Again I’m only jealous.

One of the things our country is rightly proud of is the NHS. Mainly free healthcare not dependent on the ability to pay. Once it was completely free paid for by taxes. It’s had some rough times. None tougher than now. A bodged reorganisation based on political dogma designed to open the service to extensive privatisation. Conservative austerity pushing services and staff to breaking point. Perfect for our leaders. It’s fits with the message that they are trying to push. ‘Clearly the service is failing, it’s not fit for purpose The only two things that can save it now are further privatisation and a move to an American insurance based system’. That’s what you will get if you vote in Britain for Johnson and Farage.

It’s becoming more difficult to see a Family Doctor. Many surgeries have a one or two week waiting list. Our Surgery operates a ‘phone at breakfast for an appointment that day’ system. It’s basically the same thing. I’ve been trying for a couple of weeks now.

The surgery opens at 8am so I started phoning at 7.55.

The surgery is currently closed please phone later.

Repeated phoning gets the same message. Then the lines open.

You are caller 39 please hold.

That’s progress over the last few days the best it’s started at was caller 49. You learn the system – anything over caller 40 means all the appointments have gone. Unbelievably I got an appointment and one with my Doctor.

Sitting in the waiting room is always an experience. Try to avoid watching the TV screens. In between advertisements for Care Homes the health messages are designed to convince you that that you are inflicted with every ailment and disease going. I once convinced myself that I had rabies. The person facing me is reading a paper with the headline “A million school kids being taught in class sizes of 31 or more”. Blood pressure starts to rise. The two gentleman next to me were exchanging accident details. One had broken his leg when a shopping trolley hit him near the frozen chicken section of the supermarket. The other chap had ricked his back bending over to pick up the TV remote control. A mum having a loud argument on her mobile while her little toddler whacked me repeatedly on the head with the STICKMAN book. “Your funny” shouts the toddler. I must have that sort of face.

Finally the Doctor can see me.

“Your Blood Pressure is Perfect”. REALLY. Clearly been assailed by a Julia Donaldson book is the new mediation – should be offered as a care pathway.

“Have you had any counselling yet. I did put you on the waiting list”


“How long have you been waiting”

Three years

*** Doctor now swears and goes into a tirade at the last 10 years of Conservative Governments ****

“I suspect the counselling isn’t going to happen. I’m going to give you some medication to try and help with your sleep. Come back and see me in January. But promise me that you will get a hobby and do it regularly. If you find anything that works then stick at it.”

So off I went to find a hardback copy of The STICKMAN. Any volunteers to give me a damn good thrashing…..

48 thoughts on “STICKMAN

  1. Biggest laugh I’ve had all day, and I’ve just been shooting foam ‘bullets’ at plastic cans while being side-eyed by a very silly friend. What I’m trying to say is thanks for the belly laugh. I looked up that book on our public library’s site. Our copy looks like Christmas, so I won’t be borrowing it. (Allergic) I can recommend the foam-related hobby, but your writing seems to be doing the trick. Two thumbs up 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Three years? For God’s sake … You know it makes me mad, the NHS is so totally abused and what worked a few decades ago is no longer fit for purpose. The people who really need it aren’t getting the help. I’m so sorry … 😞

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Don’t even get me started on phoning my local surgery. The EXACT same thing happens and I call them out in it but it’s like I’m talk it to a brick wall.

    hopefully one of the nutcases we all end up voting for sorts this out.

    Great post.
    That dog upstaged you, dude lol. He’s a superstar!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I wish I could laugh at this, your writing is always amusing but the topic is not. Have you tried CRUSE? They’re free, staffed by (often fully qualified) counselling volunteers and will be better than the NHS CBT regime anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Seriously I would struggle south of the border to know right now who to vote for. I mean I can tell you who I would NEVER vote for if you tore out my eyes but as who I would cast my ballot box paper in with…well…. What a mess

      Liked by 1 person

  5. We queue outside our surgery at 7.30 for the doors to open at 8am, and all appointments for the day are gone by 10 past. No way can you book in advance ask to see a specific doctor, especially for a follow up, medication issue worrying as Hubby has twice now been prescribed something with wrong dosage or that interferes with his warfarin. My business might be 170 miles away, but at least they know me and I have continuance of care…….. or at least for the next 5 years anyway so I’m confident they will pick something up there.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sounds like you’re already on the American Plan. The only difference is that you dont get a huge bill for everything.

    The headline about 30 students per class…is that unusual? Here in grades K-2 the limit is 20 (or 21?) But starting with 3rd grade (8-9 years old) class sizes are generally 30 students. There can be 35-40 in some classes.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Health system is a mess every where sadly . My daughter is trying to find a phycologist for her depression .. any luck ? No but they give her pills for anxiety at the Dr. office … hmm something wrong with this. Okay help me out what is Stick man 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ll have to look it up sounds interesting.. sadly that is happening people retire and no one to replace or they can’t afford to. My daughter yrs back had such a beautiful Psychologist . The connected so well . She got into a bad automobile accident and had to stop practicing. Since then haven’t been able to find or replace her. Still looking though. I hope you will find one. 💕

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Just so you know, Conservative parties in Canada are out to do the same thing. They hold down health spending then tell us how bad service is. They have been trying for more than 20 years to bring in the American system, many of their politicians already having set up insurance companies to step in as soon as they get their way. Meanwhile the American lower and middle classes are screaming for government health care. The Tories don’t give a shit about people, all they care about is money. How long before both systems fall apart and hospitals close down completely? Then where will we be?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Unlike Britain, where your population is concentrated, in Canada we are very sparsely populated. To see a specialist I have to travel a minimum 5 hours, generally, though, for my regular specialists, an 8-10 hour trip is usual, depending on the weather. In winter it can be two or three days on occasion. And that is one way!
        If you want decent medical service you have to live in a city. I hate cities.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Well if Stickman helped your blood pressure maybe you should try BDSM. 😂

    Health care sucks every were for regular people but politicians don’t care because they have a good government funded health care plan that’s way different than what avareg people get, like everything it boils down to greed. 😒


    Liked by 1 person

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