Feels more like Frank Herberts Dune than Yorkshire today.

We are a week away from our countries latest election. I don’t know why we bother having a vote as the media are all screaming at the public to vote for Boris Johnson. A pack of media hounds trying to rip to shreds the Opposition Leaders. Yet the hardest scrutiny Johnson has faced seems to have been how he makes a cream scone.

Strangely no mention of the lies, the alleged affairs, the islamophobia, extreme policies or his contempt for ordinary people. Yes very like a strange Frank Herbert world.

A knock at the door this afternoon. A man dressed as if he’s just been shooting pheasants (or maybe peasants).

Can I count on your support for the Conservative Party Candidate and Boris Johnson. Let’s get Brexit Done.

So exactly what does let get Brexit Done mean.

When Boris is elected PM he will get Brexit done by the end of January.

So will he sign off on the full text of a EU trade deal by January then.

Erm that’s the details. He will get Brexit done January 2020.

But the boring details are the important bits of Brexit. So will they be completed by January.

No but Boris will sort them so we can spend on the NHS, Police and make tax cuts. It’s all about getting Brexit Done.

So he’s not getting Brexit Done then. He’s just agreeing to go and we worry about all the important stuff later.

But he’s getting Brexit done. After January we won’t talk about it again and we can have more 50000 new nurses and large tax cuts.

But as an MP and London Mayor he has either voted for or agreed to budget cuts for those areas. The only thing he’s supported is tax cuts. So why the change of heart. Plus the 50000 seems to be mainly made up of existing nurses. Keep current nurses doesn’t make them new nurses.

*** shooting man now giving me that – am I talking to a traitor – look. ***

The budgets cuts are the fault of The Labour Party and the EU. When Boris gets Brexit Done .. erm … Britain will be great again.

But Labour has not been in power since 2007. How can it be there fault.

Corbyn has personally stopped Brexit. He’s a traitor to the people who voted to leave.

Are you not forgetting your own Conservative MPs and a Former Conservative PM who agreed that the Johnson deal is a disaster and really just an excuse to crash out of Europe without a deal.

*** shooting man now very red in the face ***

Clearly your a remoaner. Boris will get Brexit Done for the good British people who voted to leave.

Can I ask about why the Conservatives are in favour of bringing back fox hunting when in your terms the vast majority of the public are in favour of a complete ban. And why the Conservatives have said so little to say about climate change. Why Boris Johnson was the only party leader who refused to debate climate change on the live broadcast.

*** but shooting man was gone. Walking briskly to the next house. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that as he walked across my lawn he trod on one of Captain Chaos’s finest and freshest dog turds. I bet that doesn’t feature on any of the media’s election coverage.

63 thoughts on “Election Fever”

  5. Good Luck in the election and whatever that brings. Brexit seemed to be Boris’ contribution from the first time he goaded the government into having the referendum. I hope it is all worth it in the end, but those who think leaving the EU will suddenly put things back the way they were more than 40 years ago, are bound to be disappointed. This whole thing seems to be a part of the Trump effect. We now have an angry politician in charge of our provincial government and his promises are no better than Trump or BoJo and his lies are every bit as good. I’m from the Government and I’m here to help you. RIGHT! Cheers Allan

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  6. Russia and China are laughing at the great hornet’s nest they stirred up. I’ll be hiding in my room, hoping your election goes well🤞🙏🍀 And that ours goes well next year (soooo long, soooo much 🐃💩 until then)
    Hurray for Captain Chaos!! Perhaps he could leave a few presents in other strategic locations…

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      2. Yeah. I figured that. Bodger is especially loathed here. When he comes here they take him round places in the middle of nowhere, seriously in the middle of nowhere. This is after he had to be taken out of Sturgeon’s residence by the back door that time he came up and also made the big mistake of trying to usher her into her own pad.

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  12. Ya could have Trump lol

    I’m kidding – whatever – I don’t like politics – it’s all corrupt anyway.

    We have Trump – you just never know what’s gonna happen next lol

    It is a little entertaining

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  13. I must applaud your will power, your restraint, your ability to refrain from physical violence. Your questions were spot on, and you proved him for the ignorant sycophant he is. Personally, I would have had my solid wooden rolling pin in hand and given him to the count of zero before I bashed his head in! What a jerk! What a jacka$$! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Election fever is in full swing here, as well, and we have another 11 months of this! I dare … just double dare … somebody to come to my door asking similar questions. I will email you my contact info in case I’m AWOL for a few days, so you can let my daughter know to come see about bailing me out of jail.

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      1. He might have been a nutter, but I like his idea!!! Maybe I’ll start keeping a bucket of cold water by the front door! I could use it on the obnoxious church people who come peddling their religion, too! 😉

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  14. To be fair, BJ was criticised last night on BBC Radio Four for not doing interviews. I’d suggest to give it a listen as it was funny, anyway: Where’s the F in News, Series 3, Episode 5, just before 18 mins.

    I’ve heard lots of bluster by Conservatives but I haven’t had the impression of deliberate bias on the part of BBC Radio Four (the only news I’ve imbibed). If BJ won’t be interviewed, there ain’t much can be done about it except take the piss (as in the aforementioned show!).

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