A couple of photos of a favourite tree of mine. And Captain Chaos – saves an extra special cock of the leg for this one.

It’s sits on the edge of a forest. It’s in a field all by itself. Is it part of the forest or does that 50 yards of separation make it a loner – in its own forest of 1 tree. I guess it once was part of the main forest but over years the trees around it have died or been felled.

There’s a photograph from our sons old nursery which comes to mind. I can’t share it as it has other kids on it and I don’t think it’s right to show it without their agreement. It was taken when our son had just turned four. He was a kid which every other kid wanted to play with. Up to that stage no real indication of Aspergers. In fact I really didn’t know what Aspergers was. The photo has all the nursery kids and nursery staff stood in a group. The Nursery Team photo. All huddled together except one small boy. Our son was stood by himself about 2 yards in front of everyone. Giving the camera a real Paddington Stare. They tried to get him into the group but he just kept saying ‘NO I’m fine here’. Unusual for him as he was normally the one hiding at the back with a hood over his head as soon as a camera was produced.

Was he part of the group or was he becoming a loner.

Maybe he thought he was the leader. Maybe he thought it was his moment to shine. Maybe he just took a dislike to the photographer. We will never know.

A note was shoved through our letter box yesterday. The Village Committee are holding a village Christmas party at the little Village Hall. Children can come so WE could go. But I’m not sure I feel part of the village these days. The friends we had have all left now or passed away. The few I still know are elderly Residents and they will either be off to spend time with family over Christmas or are not interested in socialising anymore. So if we did go WE wouldn’t know anyone there. Part of me is saying WE should go as it’s a chance to meet new people. But WE won’t in the end. Son is adamant that he would rather do a spelling test than go to that party. A large part of me shares his view. Stood in a cold village hall with people who either have no idea who I am or with people who I share nothing in common with. They live in a different world. A world of dinner parties, bridge Clubs, Conservative Party Socials and going pheasant shooting at the weekend. You see the problem is that although I am living within yards of these good people – I am not really part of them. I once was but those close to me have either left or died. Slowly isolating me from the village. Just like that TREE. Hopefully the dog doesn’t cock his leg on me.

99 thoughts on “Just like that Tree”

  3. If you decide to go at least you’ll have a supper out of the deal. Even if you’re there for too shotmrt a time.
    Just did that on the weekend. We’re there for the barest of respectable number of minutes. Having to child sit the grandkids helped make the early departure acceptable. Even had a dessert too boot.

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  4. Trying to push the boundaries of comfort is good. Trying to smash the wall with your head, not so much. He did well on the train, the party doesnt sound all that great, but🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe a 5 minute run in, grab some food, and dash back home for movies and a picnic?

    I really like the way you’ve written this. The tree comparison is beautiful. Beware the Cap’n😂

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  6. that is a beautiful tree. Sometimes the things we find the most beautiful in this world are beautiful because they are “unique”. Just as the tree stands alone in its majestic individuality…so do each of us:)

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  7. I know how you feel about sharing nothing in common with people. A party sounds scary in your position. But I do hope the dog doesn’t pee on you lol. Much love to you Gary. Xx

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      3. Empty cinemans are the best. When Mr and I go …which is not fotne these days largely cos there is nowt we fancy but we go at like 5pn, get the place to ourselves then grab pizza and vino on the way home.

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      2. We are seriously lucky here and despite being so near everything we are tucked right away which is even better. Our last house wasn’t great for facilities or should i say the place wasn’t.

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      14. My parcel came yesterday. Can’t thank you enough. It’s going to be our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day treats. It was funny as soon as the postie handed over the parcel – Captain Chaos went into full bounce mode – that means something smells wonderful. xxxxxxx

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      15. Lol..wait till you taste it. Seriously… Then you can thank me or not… I had such a disaster with it actually. I couldn’t find my usual recipe so I got this other one online and it was the second one this Xmas where my gut was saying.. don’t do it that way, it will never set and it was right. (The other was lavender fudge) But I had done it that way so the base had to be redone but that was okay I was able to save it. BUT then I had put the topping back on a low heat and had it all slowly setting and I left it to cool…or thought I had but no, the cooker has very odd settings and it was still on, so the damned marshmallows had all melted. It tasted okay actually so I thought I could just add more mallows BUT I had put the sodding packet in the bucket by mistake. THAT was all why I said to you, it is coming. Anyway I did give my Mr a piece and had tiny bit myself just to see it was ok and he does not like rocky road at all but he liked the smell so he ate it and then he liked it so I made another small batch the other night for Christmas Day. But you are more than welcome. I mean that.

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  11. I probably wouldn’t go either. But maybe there is someone just like you skirting the edge of that same party, thinking the same thing and feeling the same way. Love the tree too – very pretty!

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      3. I think you are right. Although I have been grounded with icy rain yesterday and just rain today. Hoping to get out tomorrow if conditions permit. But yes, in general, I think I got the better weather for our running 🙂

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  12. Like many others, I like the way you have written this post to describe. I can also understand not going to something you don’t feel part of, because that alone doesn’t make you feel encouraged to go.
    But if you both fancy a challenge, like someone has already said, challenge for 5 minutes in sticking. You never know you may make it to 10. You don’t have to stay if it turns out you still don’t want to be there. Have some food bags on you in preparation of any free food. You could take that home for later if you wanted for whatever you plan later at home, if you did not eat it before.
    You never know, you may see someone else on their own.
    There could be some new people to the area, that you would not be aware of, if you didn’t go.

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  13. What if you ask your son to go for your sake? I know you’re not at all keen on it but Gary, maybe there’d be someone there who needs the beauty and kindness of your heart – even if it’s for a scant 5 minutes.

    The other person I’m thinking about is your boy. Would it help with his anxiety in social settings if he focused on giving a bit of his beautiful heart to others? Even if it seems as if no one cares a fig?

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  14. Trying to socialize during the holidays seems so stressful especially mixing with strangers. Also you would be on display and that can be scary! It would be different if you were solo and could see it as a challenge. My husband and I hate parties but when pushed to attend, we split up and interview folks while acting all friendly and then when we finally escape the chaos, we share about who we met and how weird or wonderful they were. The best thing to do is what feels right for your boy. You don’t want him to tell you years from now, “Remember that horrible party we went to?” It is were me, I would drive to the pizza place and make it a real cool night out and skip the village party. Bless you, Gary!

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  15. Community parties can be tough, sure. I hosted one at our church! I still don’t know many names, but Blondie and Biff got to eat pizza and make birdfeeders (Bash didn’t want to be around all the people, so he went home with Bo). You want Christmas to be a loving time; hanging out with others can only be fun when both want to do it, so if your son doesn’t want to go, that’s okay too!

    And while I can say it, a most Blessed Christmas to you and your son, my friend! Hugs and hope from Wisconsin. I’d send you a white Christmas if I could, but we’ve no snow here…

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    1. Make son happy and it will make me happy. So it’s a lockdown and a party for 2 with pets invited as well. Anything else will stress son out and that’s not going to happen now. It must be so tough for Bash.

      I really hope you have the best of times my good buddy. xxxxxx It’s damp grey and cold here. I think your our best hope for the white stuff.

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      1. Oh dear–our own hope for the white stuff is plenty dismal here. It’s just fog and wet now, and not likely to change until the weekend…when it’ll rain. Last year was a lot like this too, and then in January it got so cold I feared our pipes would freeze…

        It sounds like you’ve the perfect Christmas Eve plans! We’ve church here in the afternoon (instead of the late-night service) and then one present before bedtime. xxxxxxx

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      3. Oh dear! Well, while we have no snow, we did at least have mild enough weather that the kids could run laps outside and not drive their great-grandmother to a heart attack. So there’s that. 🙂

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  16. I have a favourite tree too, not unlike yours. I only moved here a year ago and one of the things I noticed right away was that here you can actually see the whole of a tree because they have space. In Washington State where I was before the trees were all squished together. Also out there One couldn’t really get a sense of the horizon. So different here.
    Hope you have had a not horrible Christmas. I hope it’s OK to say that? Best wishes, anyway to you both and your lovely dog.

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  17. I noticed after reading this is a old post. I do hope you stop by the party and left after 30 minutes if you two were not enjoying yourself. I also want to say I really appreciate your level of respect of not showcasing photo’s without getting the permission of others. I find that to be so rare as social media has run a much. Oh, and lovely tree the first image is worth framing…

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