4am When the world hopefully sleeps.
The bedroom door bursts open.
Sorry Dad can’t wait to ask. If you had to be related to a king or queen which one would you most want it to be and which would you be most embarrassed to be associated with.
Erm top of my head probably Queen Victoria and probably not mad King George III. How about you son.
Henry V would be so cool but he only had one child and he was pious so it’s not likely. Many would say King John as one your embarrassed with as he is seen as the most useless one but he was actually not as bad as that. Henry VII probably as his claim to the throne was illegitimate. Night Dad.
I then I had a bizarre dream about being late for a meeting with the Queen. A meeting which was to happen on a train in a random rainy town. And I got lost. At least Son had not asked about my favourite Telly Tubby. Getting lost on the way to meet my favourite Telly Tubby would have been a dream too far.
So at breakfast I decided to continue the historic theme. I convinced son to have a trip to see the beautiful ruins of a local Abbey. He wasn’t convinced but finally we set off. I really should stick to my level. The Telly Tubbies. We arrived to find the site closed until March and that knowing look from son. At least we got a few lovely views from the outside.
I gave our son the option of extending our trip but he just wanted to go home. Too many people about. That’s becoming an increasingly common comment from him. As the months go by he finds it harder to deal with social contacts. He can still cope with rock concerts. It’s because he thinks they are still very inclusive. Doesn’t matter what you sound like, dress like or look like – your just accepted. No condescending looks. It helps that it’s dark and noisy so it’s unlikely anyone will talk to him. He was also ok on our recent train night but that was onboard the train. Luckily no one was sat opposite us. On the platform he struggled. We basically stood inside a coal shed until we could board. He had been ok with the cinema but now if the screen has more than handful of people in then he can’t watch the movie. We were going to see Jumanji but the screen was half full and that was the end of that. At school he’s just not happy. The crowded school bus is becoming impossible for him. You can see the change in him when he’s back home. He’s confident and happy. Outside he’s nervous and wants to hide. As soon as we leave the front door his hood goes up.
I remember a conversation with a really good Child Psychologist who worked for a time with him. She thought that his social difficulties may well become more pronounced as he became a little older. She had worked with a number of kids a bit like our son and they had all found mostly happy life’s. But isolated life’s. One or two friends and some family contacts allowed into the inner sanctum. Pets and animals definitely. But the rest of the world – preferably not.
It’s early and things may change. He will follow his own path. I will be there as long as I’m needed. But it’s his own path and he needs to find the type of world he’s most contented with. A closed abbey with a handful of walkers being too busy is potentially an indication of the direction of travel. If that path takes us inevitably into a more isolated world then so be it. And for those interested my favourite Telly Tubby was Laa Laa.
I’ve never seen a Telly Tubby. Is that good or bad?
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It’s culturally enriching. Kind of…..
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Thank goodness he can probably work from home when he’s older.
Laa Laa’s the only name I remember. 😀
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It’s certainly easier these days. You can’t remember Tinky Winky.
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Maybe I should have watched it more.
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Still time……
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Ah, I don’t think that I would be as able to answer such a question at 4 am. It would probably come out like ‘Whaaaatmmmrphhhhhhdunnooozzzzzz.’
Your son has a very analytical brain! 😊 I never watched the Tellytubbies… It was a UK program that never made it over the pond when I lived in Canada. 😊
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You get used to these questions. Did you get to see In the Night Garden.
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Nope, I don’t think so…
Happy holidays to you and Son 🎅🎊🎉🎄🎂🍧☃️ 🎁❄️🍗🍺
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Thank you and Happy Holidays to you.
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I wish there was some way your son could carve out a social world for himself iin cyberspace as a blogger, just like his dad. It would keep the walls from closing in completely.
But I guess his challenges with dyslexia rules that out.
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Maybe one day. You never know.
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We live in hope🙂
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4am? Yep… no questions though, just demands. Turn the TV on, open my juice, go in the living room, I need tape…
I do hope you made your meeting with the Queen😉
Younger daughter preferred LaaLaa too. Her favorite color is yellow. I was always partial to Tinky Winky myself. Marvelous magical handbag!😂
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More chance of me meeting Laa Laa. It’s not a great feel at 4am. You get used to it. x
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You just reminded me of that legendary show. Loved seeing the sun baby
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He was a smiler.
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It’s so what you true what you say about people who like heavy rock. Once upon a time my sons dad and I had a music shop (well actually he still does) and the nicest most polite and accepting people were those into really heavy rock and the goths. Very top of the list of great people were (some would say unexpectedly) cradle of filth fans! The bottom of the list were those into rap (as a generalisation of course) and also the most shoplifted cds. It’s hard this time of year when everything is so busy. My son is the same, he can’t understand why people ‘do’ Christmas and stress themselves out.
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It’s such a nice atmosphere at concerts. I’m convinced why he likes it. Son likes Christmas but just doesn’t get why people mass together. He so wants to see Jumanji but can’t face the crowds. Sadly still too many people don’t understand this.
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It’s a hard time of year if you can’t cope with crowds. I see my dyslexia was really messing with me in my reply this morning. I don’t know why I do this repeating words or adding phantom words to sentences, it’s usually worse when I am tired. Glad you could get the gist! 😂
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To be fair that’s like my writing some days. If I’m under stress or tired I struggle big time writing. I drop words and my spelling goes completely.
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I admire your parenting with love and patience.
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That’s so kind of you. Thank you.
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My pleasure!
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🙏
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“One or two friends and some family contacts allowed into the inner sanctum.”
I think many of us are like that. It’s what I’m comfortable with too.
I’m thinking that your lad has the potential for a great writer (not joking) as writers usually wake up at the oddest of hours with such things on their minds!
Well-known children’s book authors with dyslexia –
https://www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/personal-stories/famous-people/11-childrens-book-authors-with-dyslexia
Well-known adult authors with dyslexia and other learning difficulties –
https://www.bachelorsdegreeonline.com/blog/2011/25-famous-authors-with-learning-disabilities/
The photos are lovely. 🙂
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Thank you for these links. Going to sit him down and look at the authors. It good for his confidence.
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At least your child psychologist talked sense. Unlike ours, who has become “concerned” at the level of isolation our daughter is choosing, and has threatened to report us to Family Services (child protection etc) as a result.
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That’s appalling. Sadly she has retired and not been replaced. She often said that she was appalled at some of the views some of her colleagues had on autism.
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We have been let down by services and have noticed their motto of “the best form of defence is attack” and so they blame the parents to cover up for their own failures. Very upsetting.
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It’s so easy to blame the parents or the child. I bet if you had loads of money the response would be completely different. It stinks that you have to go through this.
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When my son reached about 12, puberty took what had been lifelong sensitivities and anxiousness and sent anxiety through the roof. Being in crowds is very hard. He doesn’t go to movies, preferring to watch them online even if he has to wait to see them. His social life is largely via the internet (he’s 17 now). He’ll connect using messaging apps, video chatting, and gaming online wearing a headset. We ended up putting him on medication for anxiety and it has made a difference. He still gets anxious about things, but therapy and meds have helped. Being so sensitive and anxious makes anyone’s world smaller. But I know as my son grows up, he’ll will have his crew of friends, and at some point will find work and learn to support himself. His life won’t look like what I dreamed for him when he was born, but it will be ok.
Just the fact that you’re reaching out and doing your best, your son will find his way.
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Thank you for this. Son is just starting puberty now. Online is a world alien to many yet it’s unfairly treated by many who just don’t get it.
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Prefer the Clangers or the Woodentops to the Telly Tubbies (you might be a bit too young to remember those)
Your son amazes me with his history retention. I forgot everything before I’d got to the end of the corridor after class.
Merry Christmas to you both, Lovely pics of the Abbey btw
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I was Hectors House and Captain Scarlett.
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Ha! Noggin the Nog and Captain Pugwash?
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Pugwash was great. Everyone at school knew its real message way before the TV pulled it.
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Merry Christmas to you. x
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You too
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As mean as Queen Elizabeth was… She’d be my pick🌷
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I did think about her
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*Still be, I meant! She was kinda interesting.
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🙏
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Blech, I had no patience for Teletubbies. 😛 But I’d consider your trip a success because you could at least see the abbey, if from a distance. Gorgeous structures, you have a beautiful shot with the sun and the windows. Plus, your son did agree to go. That’s a win!
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It is a win. Wish you could see some of these old sites we have. The stories it could yield for someone with your imagination would be awesome.
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Ah, someday…
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I really do hope so one day. You could even do your Sound of Music impersonation in The Alps.
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(spits coffee) OH MY GOSH I HATE THAT FILM.
Ahem.
I mean…Sure! 😀 lol
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You mean you don’t do that sort of thing in Wisconsin.
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Ha! No, Wisconsin has plenty of weird practices all its own…like going painting one’s body for a football game in 0 degree weather. 🙂
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My team is the most northern English club. We don’t do the painting but they do like to go semi naked. Bizarre. Those days have passed me by.
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Now that, perhaps 🙂
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Good for you for never giving up and still be understand who he is and what he wants. Great dad.
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Thank you so much.
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