Christmas Eve has been very damp and exceptionally grey. No colour at all. So it called for some colour from a couple of weeks ago. Today this is as colourful as it gets. I can’t think of a name for this at the moment.

As I’ve got older I’ve become more used to dealing with the inevitable life curveballs. But not completely. The dreaded demon curveball still gets through.

Dad if I had been a girl what would you and mum have called me.

I couldn’t remember and that’s a great start to 24th December. My defence is that we found out very early on in the pregnancy that it was boy names only. But I still should remember that. Those fun brainstorming seasons for two unprepared newbie parents in waiting. But nothing. It felt like I had let down our son and lost another important link with my partner. It hurt. It hurt like mad. Yes you can hurt at this time of year. Sadly so many do. Sending everyone of you a hug.

To try and clear my head I went outside to do my odd outside thing. Push a wheelbarrow around the garden a few times. It’s hard work but that’s the point. In the middle of the garden was a stray Santa’s Hat – presumably courtesy of Captain Chaos. So as the effort started to do its job I donned the slightly soggy hat. Wheelbarrowing in the rain. Like to see Gene Kelly’s face if that was the song he was given all those years ago to dance to. Wheelbarrowing in the rain did its job. Mind reset. I have one job and that is to make our son happy. Make him happy this Christmas. Need to get back to my A Game.

“Son when was the last time you had whip cream direct from the canister into the mouth”

Never Dad.

“Well you are now”

So that’s what we did. Soon this was escalated to shaving foam covering my entire face. It kinda suited me. Still no George Clooney but a vast improvement. A look all the more better for the sound of laughter filling the house.

Dad do you fancy a first to hit the crossbar challenge.

Followed a few minutes later with

Dad you do know it’s first to kick the ball onto the goal crossbar not first to repeatedly kick the ball into next doors garden challenge

As I spent a quite a bit of time retrieving the football from next doors garden I got to spend a bit of time noticing how a garden should look like. Very neat and tidy with immaculate lawns. Well almost immaculate. A couple of ugly holes courtesy of an escaping Captain Chaos. That’s compared to our garden which is more akin to a ploughed farmers field courtesy of moles, son and CAPTAIN CHAOS. Maybe 2020 is the year of the NEAT GARDEN. More likely it’s the year of the NEED A NEW GARDEN. So as the ball sailed over the hedge again son shouted.

Dad what would you call me now if I was a girl.

This time the curve ball missed.

“Laa Laa Po Dora the Explorer Elsa Tinkerbell”

Really Dad. All those names.

“No son Dads fibbing.”

Good I was getting worried. It’s a joke then

“Yes”

Maybe you could call me either Daphne Blake or Velma Dinkley

“Jinkies that’s a good idea”

So a day that threatened to be scuppered on a girls name ended with laughs about a girls name. Like many folks I operate on such fine margins. With so little separating happiness and sadness. I really hope this Christmas you find happiness.

80 thoughts on “Names on Christmas Eve”

  2. I managed to turn my day around by singing Christmas carols really loudly and really really badly. It’s a running joke in our house as the kids chase me around trying to get me to shut up. My daughter than went around reciting Jingle Bells, like a poem, in a Very Posh British Accent.
    Sometimes it’s the little things that make the best Christmases.

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  4. It is almost a choice of self-sacrifice: to turn the dark pull of grief into joy and laughter. And how difficult it is to do that. Your post was very heartwarming to read this Christmas. I think it embodies the essence of Christmas.

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  6. Ben is in a better mood, but its ADHD overdrive day. He doesnt even know its Christmas Eve. We decided not to tell him, just let him be surprised in the morning. He IS looking forward to baking cookies later.
    I tried singing Christmas songs to him, he (limited vocabulary) said “Will you shut up?” in a perfectly exasperated tone of voice.😂 We dont use “shut up”, so he must have got it off a movie or YouTube.

    As for names, Older daughter is very happy she was born female. Her father had insisted that Christopher Robin was to be the boy name.

    Merry Christmas to you & son! I’m sure there will be love, laughter and some bittersweet moments.🎄🌟🎁💝

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      1. I’m exhausted, but that’s my normal so I’m doing good.😂 I slept 4 hours and only woke up twice. 😯
        We made the food yesterday, so we have leftovers, Ben has new toys to keep him occupied for a little while, Younger daughter & her partner might come by after they get off work later this evening, but that’s it for visits. The goal for today is relaxing in our cave.
        💌

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  8. Pingback: Names on Christmas Eve — A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. | O LADO ESCURO DA LUA

  13. You, my friend, are the master at rescuing the day! I do not know another dad who would do all that you do. I hope you and your son have a wonderful holiday today … remember that you have the best gift possible … each other. Love ‘n hugs!

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  17. Sounds like a fun morning. The grandson had a little gun thing that he got off his Star Wars comic. It fires tiny plastic bolts, so we had a competition to see who could shoot the angel off the top of the Christmas tree! All’s quiet now, family gone off to do their own thing … it’s telly for hubby and reading/telly for me. 🙂

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