Twenty years ago we came to look at our current home for the first time and we both immediately fell in love with it. Yes it was a bit small being a two bedroom bungalow. It needed a lot of work doing to it. Apart from a really small village store it was a long way from any other facilities. The garden was badly overgrown. It would have been so easy to drive onto the next house we were looking at. But then we saw the view from the back garden. That was it. We were sold. I remember saying – that’s a big sky.
It’s still a big sky.
Little did we know how important such an isolated garden would prove when we became parents. Apart from the occasional walker and farmer you don’t see any sign of human life. These days when a human is spotted son will scamper into the house until the all clear is given. I’m not sure he would ever surface if he lived in a busy city.
Today was a work from home day. In fact this is going to be a work from home week. So it’s one of those weeks which could go two ways. Bask in the splendid isolation or feel the intense loneliness. Well after a few hours today it was heading towards the latter. When that happens the house starts to feel very cold and very claustrophobic. So a few minutes later I had donned about 15 layers and was sat outside with the laptop. Sat under the big sky. Today it was particularly quiet. No walkers, no farmers, no farm animals. Just the occasional bird. Yes still lonely but now realising how extremely privileged I am to be sat under this big sky.
Then something struck me. Before the world changed we would always be sitting in the garden. Sat with a glass of wine relaxing talking about becoming parents. Then when son arrived we would sit and watch him play with his toy dinosaurs on the grass. The garden would become Jurassic World. Then after a few hours the big bad daddy ranger would have to locate all the dinosaurs. It’s amazing how camouflaged a raptor can be in a Yorkshire garden. Then the bad stuff happened. Yes I would go outside to play in the garden with our son. I would train and do exercises in the garden. But I didn’t /sit in the garden anymore. This was probably the first time I had sat in the garden since my partner had left us. I guess it just didn’t seem right. It was always our garden not my garden. Almost as if it had become fenced off. Today without thinking just maybe that fence has come down. If it’s sunny again tomorrow I will probably work outside again.
Time to work under the big sky again.
Iโve been looking at big skies too. I understand that feeling of claustophobia. I bget ut at night times when it goes dark. Gl ad you could get outside to work Gary xx
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Currently too cold to sit outside. xx
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Ooooh dear. Hope it warms up a bit then xx
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Slowly did. x
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Good!
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I need to sit outside too! Thanks for encouragement.
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Itโs worth it.
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Sounds like a wonderful idea. ๐
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Thank you
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Lovely to read this!
๐๐๐ Praying for sun. โบ
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Sunny but too cold for laptop so far.
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It was freezing this morning! Might warm up a bit in the afternoon.
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It slowly did.
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that is a great read…thank you for sharing. i love watching/reading about people digging themselves “out from under” whatever they have been under. It’s odd…i had a moment like this sometime back in 2016 when i left a very volatile relationship and blogged about it similarly( another blog of mine). i was driving to work about 2 months after leaving and came over a hill( at night) that i had driven over for 4 years. I suddenly saw all of the distant lights and a huge beautiful moon. The stars were like diamonds that night as well and i just STOPPED in the middle of the hill for a deep breath and allowed myself a small giggle( freedom giggle).Thank goodness no one was behind me. Carry on!
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Have you been back to that hill recently. x
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i have been going a different way for over a year now but sometimes i take it in the better weather. the hill is way too treacherous in winter. I love that route though because it also includes a historic covered bridge and some awesome willow trees:)
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Sounds so beautiful. x
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โค Glad to hear it.
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Thank you x
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I can totally relate to that feeling of hiding from humans!
I donโt answer my door when Iโm at home for the same reason. Obviously if I have a planned and booked visitor I donโt just leave them standing outside, but I canโt bear unexpected callers and the pain of knowing I will either have to be quite blunt in sending them packing (salespeople, religious people etc.) or have them go on and on and on for longer than Iโd like and end up signing up to something I donโt want just to be polite.
Cat Daddy thinks I am rude for not opening the door, but surely the point of a door is that it can be open or shut as you choose? If we were meant to greet all callers surely there would be no door but just a hole, and everyone would come and go as they wished?
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Itโs up to each person to find what works for them. I must admit I sneakily check whose there first before opening. If I donโt know them then the door tends to stay shut.
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I love sitting outside and working.
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As long as itโs not raining
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Indeed because when it rains here it pours!
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It does pour here.
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As I type this, the robins outside are singing differently. The winds have their own song too, as do the leaves and trees.
There’s a lot of soothing and healing to be found out in the garden; more under big skies.
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Sounds beautiful
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Revisiting yourself beneath a big sky eh? I think special places are always that. We may lsoe sight of them for a bit but they come back and we do to them.
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Thatโs why we always have hope. Those special places.
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Oh yes. I often wonder is it because places are there? . I know they can change. But they all don’t, that they speak to us and remind us to come back.
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Itโs almost like a magnet.
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I sense a shift in this…touched my heart…that sky can somehow give you a sense of life and expansiveness so badly needed when the crushing loneliness revisits. Glad you found that..
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Thank you x
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That is a big beautiful sky – hope you get to enjoy it again today!
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It was lovely again.
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The sky looks perfect. What a beautiful site to look at while working. I am happy you were able to get our and enjoy it and the garden. . Maybe your partner had a little help in that looking down on you to help you break that fence. Hugs๐
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I do hope so.
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I really believe so.๐
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Funny how you know when the right time has arrived. Continue to enjoy the big sky.
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A time always comes.
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Hoping you get some sun tomorrow and you don’t feel too isolated. Hopefully having a social network here helps some ๐
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It does and the Sun did shine. x
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Beautiful view and image of the big sky created my Father who is bigger than all His creations. Glad you will we working outside in the garden again. God bless & continue to keep you and your son in His large arms of grace, mercy & peace in Jesus name. Amen. โค
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Thank you so much
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You’re most welcome
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You got this, Dad. You are doing it…
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Thank you so much x
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