Twenty years ago we came to look at our current home for the first time and we both immediately fell in love with it. Yes it was a bit small being a two bedroom bungalow. It needed a lot of work doing to it. Apart from a really small village store it was a long way from any other facilities. The garden was badly overgrown. It would have been so easy to drive onto the next house we were looking at. But then we saw the view from the back garden. That was it. We were sold. I remember saying – that’s a big sky.

It’s still a big sky.

Little did we know how important such an isolated garden would prove when we became parents. Apart from the occasional walker and farmer you don’t see any sign of human life. These days when a human is spotted son will scamper into the house until the all clear is given. I’m not sure he would ever surface if he lived in a busy city.

Today was a work from home day. In fact this is going to be a work from home week. So it’s one of those weeks which could go two ways. Bask in the splendid isolation or feel the intense loneliness. Well after a few hours today it was heading towards the latter. When that happens the house starts to feel very cold and very claustrophobic. So a few minutes later I had donned about 15 layers and was sat outside with the laptop. Sat under the big sky. Today it was particularly quiet. No walkers, no farmers, no farm animals. Just the occasional bird. Yes still lonely but now realising how extremely privileged I am to be sat under this big sky.

Then something struck me. Before the world changed we would always be sitting in the garden. Sat with a glass of wine relaxing talking about becoming parents. Then when son arrived we would sit and watch him play with his toy dinosaurs on the grass. The garden would become Jurassic World. Then after a few hours the big bad daddy ranger would have to locate all the dinosaurs. It’s amazing how camouflaged a raptor can be in a Yorkshire garden. Then the bad stuff happened. Yes I would go outside to play in the garden with our son. I would train and do exercises in the garden. But I didn’t /sit in the garden anymore. This was probably the first time I had sat in the garden since my partner had left us. I guess it just didn’t seem right. It was always our garden not my garden. Almost as if it had become fenced off. Today without thinking just maybe that fence has come down. If it’s sunny again tomorrow I will probably work outside again.

Time to work under the big sky again.

47 thoughts on “Big Sky”

  1. I’ve been looking at big skies too. I understand that feeling of claustophobia. I bget ut at night times when it goes dark. Gl ad you could get outside to work Gary xx

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  5. that is a great read…thank you for sharing. i love watching/reading about people digging themselves “out from under” whatever they have been under. It’s odd…i had a moment like this sometime back in 2016 when i left a very volatile relationship and blogged about it similarly( another blog of mine). i was driving to work about 2 months after leaving and came over a hill( at night) that i had driven over for 4 years. I suddenly saw all of the distant lights and a huge beautiful moon. The stars were like diamonds that night as well and i just STOPPED in the middle of the hill for a deep breath and allowed myself a small giggle( freedom giggle).Thank goodness no one was behind me. Carry on!

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      1. i have been going a different way for over a year now but sometimes i take it in the better weather. the hill is way too treacherous in winter. I love that route though because it also includes a historic covered bridge and some awesome willow trees:)

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  7. I can totally relate to that feeling of hiding from humans!

    I don’t answer my door when I’m at home for the same reason. Obviously if I have a planned and booked visitor I don’t just leave them standing outside, but I can’t bear unexpected callers and the pain of knowing I will either have to be quite blunt in sending them packing (salespeople, religious people etc.) or have them go on and on and on for longer than I’d like and end up signing up to something I don’t want just to be polite.

    Cat Daddy thinks I am rude for not opening the door, but surely the point of a door is that it can be open or shut as you choose? If we were meant to greet all callers surely there would be no door but just a hole, and everyone would come and go as they wished?

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  13. The sky looks perfect. What a beautiful site to look at while working. I am happy you were able to get our and enjoy it and the garden. . Maybe your partner had a little help in that looking down on you to help you break that fence. Hugs😊

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