It’s Thursday so it time for a bit of terrible poetry in the form of Chelsea Owens weekly competition. This week the rules are
- The Topic is an epic poem about a great adventure. Laudable deeds and grand gestures will be your comrades-in-arms, even if your adventure proves to go no further than locating a missing sock.
- These sorts can run rather long, so let’s cap the poem at a Length of 200 words. Yes, Fishman, you may write fewer than 200.
- Rhymes are unnecessary, yet contestants will be awarded bonus points for archaic ones.
- Make it terrible, I say! A great shout must be heard from deep within The Woods of Whispering that Princess Sock has been found, and is begging you to stop singing your ballad. Forever.
- If the Rating must, it may rise to PG-13. Remember that insults from these times moste often ran the gamut of brigand or knave.
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (January 31, 2020) to submit a poem to Chelsea.
We start out on this crazy epic adventure
A divided party for such a risky reckless venture
Saying goodbye to friends is always hard
Especially when they neighbours in our backyard
Off on our own into the great wide open
Led by our leader who is so outspoken
Into the massing storm clouds we strike out
On a wing and a prayer without any real clout
Many wolves circling claiming to be our new friends
Sign on the dotted line and you can reap the dividends
But only if you agree to the orange wolfs demands
Give me your NHS and we can happily shake hands
Don’t forget as part of the deal you take our chlorinated chicken
It’s full of good stuff honest and it won’t make you sicken
An epic adventure without any real plan
Hoping countries are nice to us including Kazakhstan
Even before we leave the lies and untruths are beginning to appear
While those making hedge fund fortunes continue to sneer
On any epic adventure you need a swashbuckling hero
Sadly we have no Aragorn to lead us just a bumbling self centred zero
This adventure of ours has a name called Brexit
Please excuse me now as I try to leg-it.
A sad state of affairs, indeed!
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The subject matter is truly terrible, but the writing is just too good. I’m afraid you just aren’t cut out to be a ‘Terrible Poet’🤔
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Not cut out to be much apart from a stunt double for Homer Simpson.
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D’oh… I’m sideshow Bob on a lawn full of rakes
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That’s so funny.
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Love the last line!
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Thank you. Not sure where I will let it to.
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Lol… nice. I may try this one. I shall ponder it over tea… lol.
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Hope you do
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Not only is it really, really terrible poetry, but depressing as hell … as well. Sigh. You should definitely win this week’s prize, my friend!
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Thank you. Slightly surprised I didn’t swear once in the poem.
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Yeah, I was surprised by that, too, but then you do have more self-control than I do. The “f-bomb” has become a regular part of my vocabulary these days!
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I can so believe that.
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Very clever! And sad at the same time – great “terrible” job!
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Thanks
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This was good but terrible lol😂
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Thank you
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Brilliant poem Gary.
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Thanks Sadje x
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You’re welcome 😉
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That’ll do terribly
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Thank you
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Hahaha, very clever!! I am not used to turning phrases into poems. Really good poem BD!!
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Thanks x
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
YOWZA, YOWZA, YOWZA!!!!!!!! 😀
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Thank you so much
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Someday, you will be doing this full time for the political section of the local paper. 🙂
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Maybe for the Beano.
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