These little beauties seemingly flower earlier every year. When we first moved here the snowdrops flowered mid February. These guys flowered mid March and the Daffodils arrived during April. I guess my Dad would have said something like ‘blimey I’ve only just planted me Goosegogs‘. Goosegogs is Yorkshire for Gooseberries.

Once a week we have school bagmageddon. Poor bairn (kid) is packed off lugging (carrying) two bursting at the seams bags. I wish someone would invent a Dr Who Tardis like school bag. Small on the outside yet massive on the inside. For bagmageddon he needs to take with him

  • Packed lunch as he rarely gets the chance to eat a school meal,
  • A drink as he rarely get the time to get a drink at school,
  • School iPad,
  • Mobile phone in case he misses the bus,
  • Pencil case for coloured crayons and felt tip pens,
  • Art brush,
  • Calculator,
  • Reading pen just in case he needs to use it,
  • French dictionary,
  • Book for reading – no dispensation for dyslexics so it can’t be a picture book,
  • Pen case including black pens, blue pens, green pens, red pens, HB pencil, ruler, protractor, rubber (eraser), pencil sharpener, highlighter pen and compass,
  • School planner,
  • Drama kit – plain black T-shirt, plain black tracksuit bottoms,
  • School homework books which are required for that day,
  • Bus pass,
  • Outdoor sports kit – football boots, white school sports top, blue school rugby shirt, blue football socks, school shorts or blue leggings, gum shield, shin guards,
  • Indoor sports kit (in case outdoor sports is not happening) so training shoes and white socks.
  • Could be even worse – if he played team sport for the school he might need to carry a hockey stick or cricket bat as well. When I was at school the teachers would call any boy with his own cricket bat – posh (rich) and then they would talk about learning to play cricket with a stick o’ Rhubarb.

That’s on top of the mandatory school uniform. Chuffing Eck (********* hell). It’s a logistical nightmare for the parent but that pales into insignificance compared to the poor kids trying to cope with all this. Yes the kids can pay for a locker but the lockers are not conveniently located so it’s almost impossible for them to get to them and back in the 10 minutes max between lessons. Hence the two expedition rucksacks. No wonder he is jiggered (very tired) when he gets home. Sometimes I expect to get a call to say he is rigweltered (stranded on his back) on the hoose on wheels (bus).

How times change when I went to school it was one small haversack. A haversack carefully painted with your favourite bands. Mine was emblazoned with Whitesnake, Bad Company, Black Sabbath and Saxon. The paint was the heaviest part of the bag. It had to be painted on thick as the poor bag would often be wanged aboot (thrown about). Inside was your butty (sandwich), some chuddies (chewing gum), footy top, shorts and Gola football shoes. Kids would take it in turns to bring in a Casey (football). Nowt (Nothing) else. The teacher handed out pencils for the school day. Then she took them back in when we headed back yam (home). Being the twonk (idiot) I was I frequently had to get Dad to recover my bag from the top of a tree after an all too successful wanging session. The bag also acted as an invaluable cushion to sit on when you got a croggy (getting a lift on the handlebars of a bike).

Basically it’s a different world now. But surely flowers blooming earlier is not great bit of man made progress. Sending kids into school with a mule train of kit is equally not a sign that the school system is progressing well. It’s also not great that we are slowly losing many of our local dialects.

Sithee (goodbye) until tomorrow.

46 thoughts on “I speak proper”

  1. yikes! sounds like my work bag ( night nurse in home care- you cant leave or order food delivery, have to be prepared for any female emergency .plus your nursing stuff, as well as stuff to entertain yourself so u don’t fall asleep= my bag weighs 25 plus pounds). On another note..whatever will you blog about once you start homeschooling? lmao..jkjk…sounds like ALL of this would be resolved ..(and you would be able to post then about all the awesome things homeschooling is doing for your son:) i really really hope you are able to transition ..hugs!!

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  3. That is way too much to carry. The whole point of the stupid iPad’s (I have negative feelings towards them, obviously) was to help kids from having to carry all those books and hurt their backs. Although, I did enjoy learning a whole new vocabulary 🙂

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  4. What is “footy top”???
    I don’t recall even using a bag for school, not even college. It’s like no one thought of it. But the most I recall having to carry is a TrapperKeeper folder, with a pocket for pencil/tools, and maybe 2 books. And a drawstring gym bag, sewn by me and still (40yrs later) in use!

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  5. Even in the dinosaur age we had gym lockers to keep our change of clothes in. I had to lug 4 massive books plus folders, paper, pens, calculator etc but not 2 backpacks!
    Maybe you should just pack it all into a rolling suitcase?

    Love the lingo! Aboot is how the Canadians and Americans near the border say about. I pick up accents. It’s funny, if I watch too much hockey on tv, I start sounding Canadian. Beauty, eh?!

    Those crocuses are beautiful!!😍

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  8. Things are moving too fast and we are literally burdened down under the weight of it all. This astounded me, how the hell does he carry that? I listened to a programme on teachers today begging parents to understand how busy they are. but parents are busy too.. its getting to be a world gone crazy…. the pure joy of a crocus in the midst of this is the only relief. I miss those so much in Australia.

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  9. Good grief! It would take me an entire day to pack all that! When I was in school, I didn’t have a bag … I carried a spiral notebook and whatever schoolbooks I had to have on a given day, and pens/pencils clipped onto my shirt pocket. That was it. Times have certainly changed, and perhaps not for the better. Too much detritus! Sigh.

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  13. I’m trying to think of some kind of rationale for having all those rhings at school. And I’m betting there is an inspection to make sure a child has everything, or lose points for missing items. How is a kid supposed to find what they actually need for a class?
    Nope, your education system doesn’t care a whit about teaching, all it cares about is having children learn how to follow rules and orders. Where does thinking get involved?

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  18. Well that was a bit like trying to read A Clockwork Orange (ever read it?). Students really have to pay for lockers if they want one? I’ve never heard of that before! Too bad. Perhaps you could get him suitcase with a handle and wheels.

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  19. At one stage in school I had hockey plus home economics on the same day. So full PE gear plus hockey stick plus bag of cooking ingredients! For a tiny skinny weakling it was quite the challenge. So I feel your son’s pain! Oh and I wasn’t entitled to a locker for another two years after that (only 5th and 6th year got them) so that wasn’t even an option.

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