Photo from Inside Croydon

It’s Thursday so it must be Terrible Poetry time thanks to Chelsea Owen. This weeks challenge is set out by Chelsea.

“I normally encourage entrants to follow basic rules; today, however, I’ve decided we need to bring back a type of poem that’s terrible for a reason other than cliché composition. I speak of the Little Willie poems.

Here are the specifics, copied from the last time we tried these:

  1. The Topic is to write a Little Willie poem. The name comes from a way of writing poetry that was popular in the early 1900s.
    From A Treasury of Laughter*:
    “Every paper began to print ‘ruthless rhymes,’ and every contributor tried to invent a catastrophe more gory in event and more nonchalant in effect than its predecessor. The favorite ‘hero’ was Willie, and although other characters sometimes crept into the quatrains, the terse lines became known as ‘Little Willies.’”
    I included three of the tamest examples at the end of this post.
  2. The Length is about four lines, a quatrain. Some were written as limericks or a double quatrain; but most were short, clever, and darkly humorous.
  3. Rhyming is imperative. These poems usually follow an A/A/B/B pattern.
  4. As I said, this week the poems are terrible because of their message. I expect darker tones, questionable humor, and stretches into creative venues writers never knew they had. If you’re sensitive, stay away. If you’re twisted, come on in.
  5. One might be tempted to up the Rating, but this is the sort of clever writing that makes readers uncomfortable but stays in the PG range.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (February 21) to submit a poem.”

********************

So here goes then

Poor little Willie lived in England but was an immigrant

Posh Boris didn’t like Willie so his deportation was imminent

But Willie worked in a Care Home looking after the sick

But Boris didn’t care because he’s such an uncaring slippery dick.

52 thoughts on “Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. I learned about Little Willie poems recently from another blogger. Had never heard of them before.

    Ben’s mama works in a skilled nursing facility, she’d be happy to give ol Boris the care he ‘deserves’😉👊🥊🏏🏒

    Your poem is still not quite as awful as your subject matter🤷🏼‍♀️💌

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Obviously, we’re having hot debates over immigration here. But caregivers are SUCH an important part of life here in Wisconsin. I just saw an article how properly trained personnel to take care of the elderly in assisted living, nursing homes, or at-home care are in BIG demand because there aren’t enough people. We NEED kind hearts, good hearts, from all over!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it’s been skewed for personal political reasons now. I he rules they have brought in would have stoped our Home Secretary parents from coming here. They now are saying they are no drug use is acceptable yet a number of the government have been guilty of that in the past. As you say it’s time for kind hearts.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I had just taken a sip of coffee when I read your terrible poem, and … short of having choked to death, I now have to clean my laptop screen! Very terrible poetry. And yes, I was appalled when I read of Boris’ new immigration ‘policy’ … can he do that without the consent of Parliament? More and more, he reminds me of Donnie. Sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Funny you should say that. Boris is looking to change the BBC further. He wants to end the public taxation to support it, the licence fee. At the same time some of its best journalists are being signed up to a new Murdock UK based news group which he wants to take over from the BBC. An idea which is said to be favoured by Boris and Cummings. So no effective Opposition, no free media. He is also looking to curtail the rights of the House of Lords and the Supreme Court.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh great … that’s all you need is another Murdoch-owned media venue! More and more, Boris is sounding like Donnie’s twin. And as for Cummings … somebody needs to get rid of that b**tard. Can he do that — curtail the rights of the House of Lords and the Supreme Court? Aren’t they supposed to be independent of the PM? Sigh. You guys have as big a mess as we do. What is happening to the world we once knew?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Whoa … sounds just like over here! Sigh. We do have a written Constitution, but it doesn’t much matter, for Trump has stomped on it, shredded it, and lit the corner of it. I expect it will be naught but ashes before long.

        Liked by 1 person

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