The morning after another storm. Dark, cold and everywhere is completely sodden. But it’s not raining and the wind has dropped a little. It’s the best it’s been for a few days so we make the most of it. Football in the garden. Increasingly mud footy. Quickly running out of grass to play on. Urgently need a magic gardener to weave some spells on our lawn.
My Dad would have sorted it out. Thinking back to all the footy, rugby and cricket played in our garden. Coming back inside completely caked in mud. Yet the lawn was kept immaculate. Dads approach was that lawns were designed to be played on but they still should look immaculate. So once we were finished he would be outside working his magic. I guess in magical gardening terms he would be Dumbledore whereas I would be much more Voldemort.
While on the subject of wizards and spells I could do with a few more areas covered.
- A magic spell to transform my distinctly dodgy cooking into taste bud ecstasy,
- A car wizard to transform my expensive bag of metal and rust into a high performance Batmobile,
- A Mary Poppins character to transform the running of our household,
- An animal wizard to sort out the pets,
- A sleep wizard to sort my permanent zombie state,
- An Alchemist to help fill our pockets with gold rather by transforming all the dog poo sacks currently crammed in there.
Unfortunately wizards are a bit rare on the ground in Yorkshire. So I guess it’s still up to a rather gormless muggle to try and sort these things out. I remember watching a Harry Potter movie and commenting about how I would be the Ron Weasley character. Son gave me one of those Paddington Bear looks and dryly said.
“Don’t kid yourself Dad. You wouldn’t even be able to find your wand.”
Yes that was so true. I do tend to forget where I put things. I’d be that Jedi Knight running around the battlefield asking everyone – have you seen my lightsaber. It’s not getting any better. Last week I bought some lawn seed and now I can’t find it. We only live in a small bungalow. Where do these things go. It’s as if they just disappear. Hang on a minute. I can make things disappear. I must be a wizard. Just need to find my wand now….