Above the church it looks like that an RAF pilot was bored and decided to try and do a signature in the sky. Hope he was smiling when he did it.

Late last night I was watching the Queen biopic and my mind wandered again. Sometimes my mind wanders that far I’m surprised it makes it way back before breakfast. Actually maybe it doesn’t – that would explain things….

Anyway I was watching Queen and thinking about concerts. In all the years we were a couple, we only went to four concerts together. She somehow managed to convince me to see Ronan Keating TWICE. Don’t tell anyone that as I might get kicked out of the Mongolian Heavy Metal Grunting Club. I managed to convince her to go and see Meatloaf (the deal was I drove and she could drunk wine). The last concert was Tom Jones – I resisted the urge to throw my underpants at him…

I guess like most couples our rock and roll lifestyle went out of the window when we became a family. That was it. No more concerts together.

PLEASE don’t take this the wrong way. This is not a sad post. I’m smiling while I’m writing this. There was a very good reason why we didn’t see many concerts together. We had completely different musical tastes. Her cds have not been touched in the last three years. Why? I could say it’s because it just wouldn’t be right. Listening to the music would make me sad. Actually the real reason is that I’d rather listen to a chainsaw grind on for hours than endure any of her cds. I will never get rid of them, but they are never, ever going to be played by me. They have become a thankfully silent reminder of our differences. The differences that made us work as a couple.

I can only think of one other possible use for them. If you haven’t seen Shaun of the Dead then this will make no sense. If we ever have to fight off a zombie attack with only our record collection, then her music is fired first….

I guess the point of this post is to say that

just as it’s ok to cry when you are bereaved, it’s absolutely fine to smile as well. It’s your bereavement, you do whatever you need to do with it.

89 thoughts on “Music”

  3. I laughed at this one! Just as you had different taste in music, we had different tastes in most movies, and OMG, Shaun of the Dead annoyed me as much as he loved it! 😀 😀 Our sons would come over on weekends and watch it, Riddick and Mr. Bean! LOLOL! Thanks!

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  4. Well I have never been to a concert except for ones by my kids lol… does that count?

    I love the memories from music though!!! ❤️

    I love my dad’s music ❤️ well most of it – there is some crap in there too lol ✌️

    But I do listen cause it makes me remember memories of him, and again I do love most of his music. He had a lot of John Denver, Neal Diamond, Elvis (lol), Beatles, The Carpenters, The Eagles etc…

    My daughter hates it when I am in the car and I blare “Top of the World” by the Carpenters and belt it out myself lol … I do the same with John Denver lol 😄✌️

    (With the Carpenter’s… I love that woman’s voice – it’s so angelic to me!! Always has been!! That woman’s voice mesmerizes me!!)

    When I was in middle school – I liked Culture Club… until my parents took a liking also – and took over my cassette tape lol… every Sunday we would go for a Sunday drive after church and my dad would blare Culture Club as I sank down in the back seat hope no I knew would see me lol 😄😄 everytime I hear Culture Club it takes me back instantly – but I remember that fondly now ❤️ even blare myself sometimes lol

    I really love music!! That’s my parents stuff … I have my own crazy music… I love the Beastie Boys which my daughter calls the angry poets for whatever reason lol… I love any music that reminds me of people places or things … whatever it is…

    Not a huge heavy metal person though… I do like some but meh… not typically my style lol

    I have a whole playlist for my dad… I love to listen to it… I can remember everything about him. ❤️ doesn’t make me sad – just smile to remember ❤️ I can almost smell his aftershave when I listen to that music

    My grandfather was massively Irish – I have a playlist for him too… all the Irish songs he used to sing to me… I don’t like other people to hear me listening to that – cause I dunno it’s weird lol ✌️ but I love those Irish songs – are very old Irish folk songs ☘️

    Music is amazing for the memories we have and make with it ❤️

    And yes … how each person handles a loss – it private and special to them. There is no right or wrong way.

    This post was very beautiful and love the topic!

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      1. Those artists have really beautiful songs, even the sad ones are touching and beautiful! Those are classics!! I love Sinatra!!

        And yes that does work sometimes. 🎶

        Music is amazing … it can change your mood, be soothing, be hard, bring memories, anything – just depends on how you hear it.

        Sometimes there are songs that I just love for the memories attached to them… there are some I haven’t heard in years and years… but when I hear it again – not only do I remember the memory… but suddenly the words mean more than they used to?

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  6. Great scene from Shaun. “Chuck it”😂🤣 Now that I think about it, in the 20 plus years my ex and I were together, we only went to a few concerts. We liked the same music, but I guess we were more focused on parenting than having dates. Now I see shows with my daughters.
    Dont worry, your Mongolian Metal cred is forever valid. You’re the one who introduced us to them😉😂💌

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  9. I’ve never seen Shaun of the Dead but, I think I understand the CD use.

    I nearly choked on my tea over the Tom Jones statement. LMAO! Old Tom appeals to both sexes, I guess. I’m sure he appreciated your restraint.

    It is good that you are remembering the funny stuff between the two of you. I can just picture you driving and her drinking, dreading Meatloaf. LOL!

    The RAF pilot part was funny, too. Loop de loop, old boy! It does look like he was chasing a bat or something.

    I haven’t the first clue who Ronan Keating is.

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  11. In the case of my wife and I so many of our interests are different – every thing from TV shows to music to sports. Yet it seems that for all the time we spend going our separate ways, the times we spend together seems that much more special.

    Your reference to the firing of records brought to mind this Instant Kiwi ad of 1993:

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  12. I ❤️ this post. It made me smile this morning. I love a concert and Queen and meatloaf have been a couple of my all time favourites. That said, I had a crush on Ronan back in the day! (I don’t admit that to just anyone mind). How lovely that you can think about her and your relationship like this. Hmmm, I may just stick paradise by the dashboard light on right now 😉 x

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  14. Oh my gosh, I laughed out loud. I’ve seen the movie and yes, at least now you are fully armed. The same with Bob and I. Bob likes the Grateful Dead and Phish like bands which I can’t stand. His music would be saved for the same purpose.

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  19. Reading your words made my heart smile. I like what you said about the differences. I think it is a wonderful development to laugh about the differences in a very loving way. I saw it very often at people, and being able to do this was for many the turning point of a new beginning. Like smiling more at the past and shining this light on the path ahead. Btw. have I ever told you how much I like your humor 😊

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  24. Hah! Found it! Now I understand the reference to knickers and Tom Jones and it made me smile. My husband and I also have quite different taste in music, yet each time he was away working (He was a commercial truck driver and drove the big rigs from Canada to Mexico and would be gone months at a time) I would find myself playing some of his music – note I did say some as the rest of it is stuff I abhor. It made me feel connected to him somehow.

    I love how you write that to grieve is an individual thing (well, not in these exact words, but something along these lines). Grief really is something we all do in our own way and in our own time.

    this made me smile many times, thank you. I hope you keep smiling too.

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      5. I read a book many years ago called City of Joy about the residents of the slums in Calcutta. It was both heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time. The “poorest of the poor” have much to teach the rest of us about true humanity and caring for one another.

        Liked by 1 person

  26. Pingback: Music — A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. – The Blaney Philosophy

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